Everyone at Hogwarts knew that Pansy Parkinson was obsessed with Draco Malfoy. Even after all those attempts, she couldn't convince that to one person, the person she was really trying to convince; herself. All of her plans came down to piece the mo...
3 months, 16 days; I hadn't seen her in 3 months and 16 days. And I didn't know if I would ever see her again.
She sent me a letter, well, letters actually. 37 in total. I didn't open them, I knew if I'd even see one word from her, I'll fucking write her and beg her to take me back.
What I said about her brother was mean, even for me, and I've said some horrible shit to people. I knew she wasn't going to back down, and I didn't want her to leave her dorm that night. The night Draco and I held a wand against Professor Dumbledore. It wasn't safe for her to come out when the Dark Lord's followers were killing everyone in sight. I desperately needed her to be safe, and I knew that remark would keep her inside for the night. I also knew that she would spend her night crying and as much as I hate to admit it, I still said that, and it must have hurt like hell. Furthermore, I hurt her — intentionally. And I still don't understand why she was sending me these letters?
Her father worked in the ministry and from what I've heard, the ministers aren't keen on sending their children back to Hogwarts. Our previous conversation might be our last, and I hurt her in our final exchange of words. I could have told her so many things. I could have told her how much she meant to me, how her smile brightened up my days, and how she was the most gorgeous creature to ever walk on earth. But I chose to say the one thing I knew would make her hate me the most.
I'm really fucked in the head, aren't I?
“Yup,” Draco's voice unwilling dragged me to back my room where I was seated with my friend. I didn't realize I had said it out loud.
“What are we doing, Draco?” I sighed.
He quirked a brow, “Right now? I'm sitting in your room and helping you pack for school. But in life? Well, I'm trying to stay alive by following the Dark Lord and you're trying to please your parents by following me. If you want to blame someone, blame Poppy. She was supposed to marry a pureblood and bring your family's reputation back. But she chose to run away with that muggle-born."
“I can't blame her even if I want to,” I exhaled, “She did what she had to.”
He looked at me incredulously and said," Wow, Diggory's sister is truly changing you. But remember one thing that her — all of them would always be better than us. We might be pureblood and rich, but we're bad people. We're on the wrong side here and we'll always pull the good ones down with us. "
I would always pull her down. I knew that since the first day I met her, but Merlin, I wanted her in my life — I wanted to be better for her.
But now I was working for The Dark Lord. There was no going back from here. I was already in a hole and by trying to keep her in my life, I'd only drag her down this path with me. And she — she doesn't deserve this. She deserved so much more. She's had so much love in her life that I can't comprehend to even give her.
Her best friend, Cho was so smart and caring. Her brother loved her dearly. Likewise, her parents also did, even in their messed up way, they were still better than mine.
“When did you become so smart, Dray?” I asked, a teasing tone in my voice.
Draco huffed, “You're not the only one who loves someone but can't have them.”
I raised my hand, furrowing my brow. “Hold up.”
Wait, what? What just happened? What did he say?
“I'm sorry,” I corrected myself, “But what do you mean? You're already in love with Astoria? You went on 2 dates with her? Merlin, talk about moving too fast.”
Before he could justify it, I spoke again and scoffed. “Oh, and also, I'm not in love with Y/N. I just like her. And her stupid breathtaking smile and the way her eyes light up when she sees me,” I thought about her. “The way she genuinely cares about people and wants to help them. The way she looks at me like I can be a better person — a person like her. She knows everything about me and what I've done, but still, she doesn't judge me. Yeah,” I said dreamily. “I just really like her. That's all.”
Draco chuckled and I narrowed my eyes at him, hoping he would drop off this topic.
Okay, I didn't realize I was saying all that out loud. Yeah, like. Definitely not love. I don't even know what love was.
“Yeah, okay,” Draco scoffed. He detected my lie, but decided not to ask me further about it. “It's not like I've known you since childhood or anything.”
I smacked him in the chest and he feigned hurt. “We were 14 when you met her at the station. It's been more than 4 years now. Just accept it. You love her.”
“I don't,” I repeated, avoiding his gaze. “ By the way, Astoria? Really?”
“I didn't say Astoria,” Draco corrected.
I wasn't much for gossips unless I could use it to taunt someone. The only time I could listen to people talk about someone else was with Y/N. She would tell me about Cho, Megan and her asshole boyfriend Wayne, and I would make a mental remark to roll my eyes and push him in the hallway whenever I saw him.
But this - I wanted to know because I was intrigued. When I raised my brow at him, expectantly, waiting for him to explain himself. He exhaled before whispering something. “ What?”
“Blaise! Alright!” Draco almost yelled, voice louder than before. “I like Blaise.”
“Oh,” I said, obviously not expecting this. “Um, that's cool. Hey, welcome to the club!”
“That's it?” He inquired.
Merlin, he was such a diva. Did he expect me to jump for him? Treat him like he was special?
Sorry, buddy, you're not her. There was nothing special about — well, everyone except her. She was special. Always has been. Always will be.
“You're not gonna — I don't know? Freak out?” He asked, baffled by my reaction or, in this case, lack thereof.
I shrugged my shoulder nonchalantly. “Why? Because you're gay?”
“Well, bisexual to be specific,” He stated, “But yeah. You're fine with it?”
“We were 11 when we met Harry," I repeated his words in a mocking tone. “You clearly did not hate him, it was obviously an act.”
“I never liked Harry,” He scorned, “How can you be certain that my hatred for Harry was faux?”
“Because I did the same with Y/N.”
A/N - Haha, watch me make everyone gay. Fuck JK. This is my fic and EVERYONE IS GAY. See you tomorrow! With love, Pri
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