IN ANOTHER LIFE (Pansy Parkinson x Reader)

Chapter 40 - It will always come back to you

PANSY'S POV

Going back to Hogwarts was not the only thing I feared. Everyone knew it was me and Draco. That didn't deter me. Snape was the headmaster now, and that is the sneakiest move that son of a bitch made. He was two-timing Dumbledore all along. I could have never guessed that. Okay, yeah, he gave off weird vibes, but I just thought he was a weird dude, not a backstabber.

Since the last time I have been at school, everything had changed. The evilest wizard of all time wanted to kill a teenager. All of this was very messed up, but I was thankful. I was thankful for my friends - Draco and Blaise. I was thankful that Poppy and Eugene were safe in the Muggle World. But most importantly, I was thankful for the fact that Y/N was not going to come back to Hogwarts.

My father informed me that all the ministers had decided not to send their children to school now that Dumbledore was dead. Although, I'm still disheartened about how I left my last conversation with her. I'm glad that she was away from this war nonetheless. It was going to get really bad and all I wanted was for her to be safe. And she would be safe as long as she stayed away from Hogwarts and me.

"Ugh, when is the train going to be here," Draco complained from beside me, and I rolled my eyes at him. A diva.

I scoffed, "You're so dramatic, Draco. It's not even time yet. It's like you don't even-"

Draco cut off my hilarious teasing by smacking my arm. And I looked at him while exhaling an annoyed hey before Draco pointed his finger towards someone. "Didn't you say that she wasn't coming back to Hogwarts? Then why is she standing there?"

I followed his gaze and pointed finger, and there she was. Fuck. She was standing with her friend, Alex. Merlin, I did all of that for what? For her to just come back right into danger? I was angry that she ignored all of my attempts to keep her safe.

When she looked at me and caught me staring at her, she shifted her gaze right back at her friend as if she didn't even recognize me. It was fair, I didn't even recognize the person I saw in the mirror every day. I don't know why I was hoping - hoping for her to still want me.

I hated this - I hated this so much that I huffed in annoyance and furiously brought my gaze back to Draco. If she didn't want me, then I didn't want her either. I knew it was childish because Merlin, I wanted her so much - more than anything in the world. But I would rather have my heart break inside me than give it to someone only to be rejected.

"Hey!" Blaise greeted as he came and stood between me and Draco. Both of us nodded at his cheerful greeting. And he sighed before speaking about his vacation. It was mostly like this. Blaise was the nicest one in our group. Draco and I were the grumpy kids who hung around the sunshine - Blaise. I wasn't listening to him, just humming every now and then until he said, "I'm going to ask Y/N out. We had fun at the yule ball."

Fun? I almost made out with her that night, and he had fun?

But I had no right to be angry. I pushed her away from me. This was what I wanted. Then why did this hurt so badly?

I spent the whole train journey thinking about Blaise and Y/N together, and they just weren't a good match. Okay, maybe they were. Both of them were so kind and good people. They deserved each other. I deserved someone like me - Draco.

This must hurt for Draco as well, listening to the person you're into fawning about someone else. I guess, we just deserved each other. Both of us were too fucked up to end up with someone like Blaise and Y/N.

When all my things were safely in my dorm, mindlessly, I strolled through the hallways. I wasn't scared to get caught. Headmaster Snape worked for the Dark Lord. And the new Muggle Studies and Defense against Dark Arts' Professors were Alecto Carrow and Amycus Carrow, death eaters , they would not hurt me.

I didn't even realize where I was walking until I reached outside the kitchen. The kitchen where I had dinner with Y/N after our detention all those years ago. I turned around and found the staircase under which we sat and ate.

I missed those times, where the only goal I had in life was to pretend I hate her. The war wasn't brewing then, her brother was alive, she was happy. Everything was so easy when we were young, yet we felt the burden of the world was on our shoulders.

And now, the burden of the world was actually on my shoulder - all I wanted to do was hold her and tell her how much she meant to me. I wanted her to know how much I adored her - how much I would always adore her.

I didn't cognize, but after a while, I was seated on my spot under the staircase. Not only that, but I didn't fit well - I had grown - it was smaller and it still felt so safe. Likewise, I placed my head where she sat in front of me, in hopes of feeling her there. Maybe I could remember all the things she said to me - all the times I got to touch her and-

"Pansy," a familiar voice boomed and made me turn towards the source.

And there she was. Merlin, she was so beautiful. Breathtaking. No, murderous.

"Hey," I greeted, adoring the cute crease formed on her forehead from surprise. I wanted to rub my thumbs across it and make it go away. I wanted to take all her sorrows away and make her happy, just like she was before she met me.

Before she could speak again, I patted the place in front of me for her to take. She furrowed her brows in confusion before taking a step towards me.

"Hi." I repeated, beaming up at her as she looked at me with nothing but bewilderment evident on her face.

A/N - Cute.
We're v v v close to the end. Anyway, see you tomorrow!
With love,
Pri