IN ANOTHER LIFE (Pansy Parkinson x Reader)

CHAPTER 29 - Inside this place is warm

YOUR POV

The next few days didn't go as smoothly as I wanted them to. I've avoided Pansy since our incident or angry make out sesh as Meg likes to call it. Of course, I didn't want Meg to know, but she caught me sneaking in the other day and the day before that and the day before that too. In my defense, I wasn't trying to be sneaky, so it's not like she caught me, it's more like I let her see me. I needed to talk to someone about the whole Pansy ordeal. The only person I wanted to talk to wasn't... he isn't... and his letter that hid in my second drawer haunted me every day. I still didn't have the guts to open it.

Pansy was right; I was scared of opening it, but she went too far with it and I guess  I took it far too. I shouldn't have slapped her and I didn't realize what I had done until it was too late to backpedal. I would be lying if I said I regret my sudden urge of violence because the output wasn't only unexpected, but also exciting. Likewise, I melted the moment her lips landed on mine roughly. And then I ended up running away because I didn't think I'd enjoy something like that.

I liked our slow and sensual kisses, but that, Merlin, that made me feel something I've never felt before. I loved that kiss, more than I should. Not only that, but I've always thought that I was the kind of person who had their emotions under control, but my mind has been wandering to some unholy places for the past few days and it's beyond my restraint now.

It was a conflict, to be honest. My heart wanted Pansy, all of her and I wanted her to have all of me too. But my mind knew better; my mind knew that the moment I get lost in her is the moment I'll break my heart. The whole school knows that she is supposed to marry Draco Malfoy. It's not like she has ever tried to oppose it, so it's very clear that I'm just a passing fling for her.

That thought should be enough for anyone to stop continuing this further, but did I want to? Hell no. It wasn't exactly wise, but well, like daddy dearest says I'm the Diggory disgrace, it's not like anyone expected me to be smart, and that is how I found myself on Pansy's bed.

"Can I apply eyeliner on you?" Pansy asked, her eyes focused on the mirror in front of her that was adjacent to the bed.

"I don't know. I've never been a makeup person. Do you think it'll suit me?"

"Sweetheart, makeup suits everyone. It's a shame boys aren't secure enough in their masculinity to put on makeup. I can't believe that you're sixteen and haven't applied makeup ever."

"Well, I don't know, I've never had anyone who taught me how to."

"Poppy taught me most of this and Merlin, you should see her contouring skills. It's brilliant," she moved closer to the mirror for a better view of her winged eyeliner. " I can't even imagine growing up with a brother."

My expression turned sour at the mention of my brother, and she realized and quickly tried to make it better.

"I know I've said this before, but I'm truly sorry. I didn't mean to say what I said the other day and I d-"

"Can we not talk about it?" I interjected desperately and she nodded without saying a word further.

"I'm really glad you didn't know me in the third year because the kind of lip gloss I used was not kissable at all," she made a face of disgust at the memory. " Ugh, I feel bad for Draco, who had to taste it."

Are we doing this now?

Oh, we are definitely doing this now.

"Did you and Draco ever-?" I trailed off, I didn't even know what I wanted to know. I wasn't expecting this conversation to come up, but here it was. I mean, I knew the answer. The whole school knew the answer, but I didn't want to ask because I didn't want to pry in her personal life and partly because I didn't want her to know how inexperienced I was in comparison to her.