IN ANOTHER LIFE (Pansy Parkinson x Reader)

Chapter 25 - Lately you've been on my mind

YOUR POV

For a person who hasn't slept peacefully in exactly two months, falling asleep last night was very easy. I was supposed to tell her that the kiss we shared was a mistake. It's not like I don't like her, it's quite the opposite actually; I do like her, but it's pretty obvious that I'm not in the mental space to maintain anything. I am going to end up hurting her and this whole thing is going to blow up in my face, but I just couldn't stop myself. Especially when she said my name like that and kissed me, I just couldn't.

I know it's selfish of me to drag her down this pitfall of misery with me. So, I am going to end it. Besides, I don't even know what we are. We are obviously not friends and I don't think we fall into the criteria of enemies anymore now that she is not sucking tears off my jaw.

In any other scenario that must've been pretty hot if it wasn't fueled by her hatred and my turmoil.

"Harry was looking for you," Meg chimed in, drawing me back to reality. I've been zoning out a lot, and it's not Cedric related anymore. Thinking about Pansy is a good distraction, and she's been on my mind for quite some time now. Okay, maybe since last year, but I was too stubborn to admit it then.

"Why?"

I know you think it's his fault, but you need to consider that it might be traumatic for him too and-"

"I'm sorry my brother had to die for him, " I scoffed sarcastically. "I can definitely see how traumatic it must be for him to not die."

***

Pansy and I, we have decided (without having a proper discussion) to meet at our spot every day around 7. Just like our detention days. We didn't talk or mutually agree to it. The next day we just happened to stumble upon the same place around the same time. And ever since then we've been coincidentally stumbling there and making out for the past few weeks.

"I didn't think you'd show up today,"

"Yeah, me neither but, I need to know what this is, "I motioned my hand between us and quirked my eyebrow." The anxiety of not knowing is going to kill me."

"Well, I hope it doesn't because," her lips tucked upward in a smirk. "It would be a shame to not be able to kiss you again."

"Wow, you have no filter whatsoever. Where was this Pansy last year?"

"Shut up and just kiss me," she swatted my arm lightly before holding my hands in hers and leaning in.

Just like all of our previous stolen kisses, this one makes me feel alright. I wouldn't call our little rendezvous a distraction. Honestly, as much fun it is I have no clue what this is. And I have a feeling that she doesn't know either.

I don't blame her; it's all so confusing. This might not be a distraction, but it's an escape. An escape from our realities because both of us are equally aware that this would not lead to a fairy tale happy ending. No matter how much we yearn for it.

I want to freeze this moment and all of our moments and never let her escape. But I know that's not possible or fair to her. She has made it abundantly clear in the past few weeks that this is just an escape from her harsh reality as well.

I have no right to be mad at her when I am just as clueless and inexperienced as her. Right now we're just having fun and a little of fun won't harm anyone, no?

She makes me feel like I'm slipping away from the world and its cruel truth, but somehow she also helps me ground to my veracity.

Just like right now, when her hand is rubbing up and down my thigh while mine is playing with the hair at the back of her neck. It feels so wrong and right at the same time.