IN ANOTHER LIFE (Pansy Parkinson x Reader)

Chapter 43 - As the world caves in

PANSY'S POV

“Nobody knows it was Snape,” Draco stated, and then proceeded to tell me about something I wasn't concerned about. I tried to listen — I really did, but I also zoned out an hour ago. But I was nodding my head and muttering a yeah here and there, so I wasn't being a bad friend. The thing was, I didn't give a fuck about anything.

My schedule was monotonous and sort of boring. It has been just a cycle to repeat and everyday I hated every second of it except when Y/N was involved. During the day, I reveled in stealing glances at Y/N, writing her notes and discreetly trying to drop them on her table. Then, I waited for her to reply with something funny or cute, I would wink at her and enjoy seeing her get so flustered. Later in the evening, I liked hanging out with Draco and Blaise until it was finally time to meet Y/N.

And that was when I truly felt alive. When everyone was asleep, I would hold her in my arms, kiss her, give her gentle touches that only I can and dream like everyone who was sleeping — I dreamt of having her forever.

“You're not listening to me, are you?” Draco inquired, and I feigned surprise.

“What am I talking about, Pans?” He further inquired.

“Um, Carrows?” I stated, but it came out as a question.

“Carrows was 15 minutes ago, Pans. You're not even listening to me,” Draco pointed out, and I scoffed. Well, okay, that was a bit dramatic. In my defense, I never listen to people when they tell me something. I genuinely did not care about anybody else except Y/N.

Just when I was about to come up with an excuse, Blaise entered the common room and I exhaled, happy to avoid Draco's interrogation. He was my friend and I loved him dearly, but occasionally he could be a pain in the ass.

Blaise walked over to us and was about to take a seat beside me. Draco instantly took his wrist in his hand, pulling Blaise on his lap. Before Blaise could even understand anything, Draco placed his lips on Blaise's, kissing him gently. And At that moment, I did not feel envious. I thought about Y/N and all I felt was happiness for my friends. Albeit, I did not know what my future held, but I knew I would be okay as long as I had Y/N.

Blaise instantly stood up from Draco's lap and wiped his hand around his mouth. “What are you doing, mate?” Blaise asked, pretending to be genuine while he pointed his gaze at me.

Both Draco and I rolled our eyes at the same time.

“She knows,” Draco announced nonchalantly, and I saw Blaise sigh in relief.

“Oh! Thank Merlin,” Blaise exhaled before situating himself back on Draco's lap. “You freaked me out.”

The rest of the conversation flowed easily, it was easy to imagine that this was my life. That all l had to do was hang out with my friends and Y/N. It was easy to pretend that I was not going to be on the wrong side. But in reality, I had to choose the Dark Lord and go against the person I cared about the most.

For now, I chose to ignore all those anxieties and fears, and focused on my friends.

“I would have asked him out on Yule Ball if this idiot wasn't fawning over Harry Potter,” Blaise confessed.

Draco scowled, “I wasn't fawning over Potter.”

Both Blaise and I scoffed at the same time and mumbled, yeah, sure.

Draco looked at Blaise. “Aw, were you jealous?”

Blaise replied without hesitation, “Of course I was jealous.”

Draco wasn't expecting him to accept this easily, and neither was I. For a second, I forgot that not everyone was unable to communicate with their emotions healthily.

“Well, I've only got my eyes on you, baby,” Draco assured before planting another kiss on Blaise's lips.

So, that was what I told Y/N that night. She was sitting between my legs, her back pressed against my chest, while my chin rested on her head. My hands were wrapped around her as I played with her fingers and mindlessly told her about my friends. She brought our intertwined hands up to her mouth and kissed my knuckles as she praised, “I'm proud of you for being a good friend.”

It wasn't something to be proud of, in my opinion. Nevertheless, I did not object.

“That's good for them,” Y/N said as she tried to keep my fingers in her grasp. I could have easily taken my hands out of her reach, but I dissembled to put on a fight and let her have the win. She was pleased when she caught my hands and rested our entangled hands on her lap.

I pressed a kiss in her hair as I asked, “What is something that you regret the most?”

“Merlin, Pansy,” She huffed, and her body straightened against mine, obviously not expecting this. “Where did that come from?”

“Just something I've been thinking lately,” I shrugged.

She gave it a thought. “You go first."

“Well,” I teased, faux thinking even when I knew the answer. “The proper question for me should be — what is something I don't regret? Because I regret almost every decision I've ever made.”

She chuckled, as she gave the question another thought. “I regret not saying it back.”

I furrowed my brows, puzzled, and she continued. “Ced told me he loved me and I didn't say it back.”

She exhaled a humorless laugh. “It's funny to think about. He took part in that tournament because of me. He wanted the price money for me. I didn't even say it back. He died for me.”

A tear slipped on her cheek and she immediately brushed it off. I took my hands out of her grip, placing her chin between my fingers as I raised her face. I made her look at me and when another tear betrayed her control and escaped, I pressed my mouth on it, tenderly sucking the wetness off her face.

“I didn't know your brother,” I stated honestly, and she nodded her head.

“But, I know you,” I said while maintaining eye contact with her. I needed her to understand my next words — I needed her to stop blaming herself for something nobody had control over. “And what I know is that you, my love, are worth dying for.”

She was worth it — all of it. I would die in an instant for her happiness. Who wouldn't? There was some part of me that desired her brother's approval. But I understood his choices. Merlin, I did. Because I too would go to such extremes just to see her smile. Even, fighting those ridiculous, dangerous dragons.

“Pansy, I -” She started.

I cut her off. I had an idea what she wanted to say, but as I mentioned before, I did not want her to confess it. Because I would never be able to give her what she deserved. So for now, I hoped that the adoration swirling in my eyes would be enough for her to know that her feelings were reciprocated.

“You know, the only thing I don't regret in my life,” I mumbled out loud and she shook her head no. “You. I don't regret you.”

She wrapped her hand in my hair, pulling me down to her lips, and I returned the kiss just as reverently.

A/N — ugh, they are so in love. I love them sm. We still have three chapters before the war and I'm having so much fun writing these soft moments. 

Updating daily has been interesting, but also exhausting, so I'm gonna take it a bit slow from now on. Dw I'm not gonna disappear for a month. You'll just get 3-4 updates a week instead of 7.

Anyway, the next chapter will be out on Wednesday.
With love,
Pri