IN ANOTHER LIFE (Pansy Parkinson x Reader)

Chapter 24 - I'll make it better

PANSY'S POV

"What about Lord Voldemort?" Harry shouted and the whole class gasped at his outburst and the mention of the Dark Lord's name.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter. Let me set this straight, "Draco chuckled from beside me. "Some of you have been told that a certain dead wizard has returned. This is a lie."

"It is not a lie!" Harry yelled again. I rolled my eyes at his dramatics. Draco and Harry are so alike, yet so different due to their upbringing and family circumstances.

"So, according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead? Or are you calling me a murderer?"

My eyes wandered around to meet certain (y/e/c) ones, and she flinched at the mention of her brother and his death being discussed as if it was a debate. She blinked a few times, trying to halt the oncoming tears before shifting her gaze to her lap.

Merlin, I really need a minute or an hour alone with her.

***

I was fiddling with my fingers while impatiently waiting for her to arrive. I haven't been here since our detention. The conversations and dinners we've had here were almost a year ago, yet I still remember every detail.

"I'm glad you came,"

"I'm glad you did too," I spoke softly.

She took a few strides and sat beside me after glancing around for prefects or Professor Flinch.

"How have you been?" I regretted the moment the question came out of my mouth.

She pursed her lips for a second before answering, probably wondering the same thing I was. Of course, she wasn't okay; her brother just died. How can anyone expect her to be alright?

"Shit, I'm so sorry. I mean, obviously, you're not okay." I retorted quickly.

She glanced at me and looked taken aback and smiled gently probably at my honesty. Maybe it was my flustered state that made her smile but I wasn't complaining.

"Is it weird that I hate everyone right now?"

"No, it's not weird. I feel the same way every day." I tried to lighten the tension by joking.

"You know who I hate the most?" I was about to answer, but she continued making me realize it was a rhetorical question.

"I hate those people who ask me how I am doing now that my brother is dead and the thing is they aren't even genuine, they don't want me to reply truthfully they want me to say something like it's okay or smile so that they could not feel guilty,"

"What am I supposed to say?" she huffed without a drip of humor. "Oh, I'm just doing horrible, and I haven't slept peacefully in months because my brother is dead and my father hates seeing me because it reminds him of the child who should have died instead of the one that did,"

"And my mother,' she signed, her voice filled with fatigue rather than relief." Well, she pretends as if things haven't changed and Ced never existed which is somehow worse. Ced did exist, and he was the person who would sleep beside me when I had nightmares as a kid, the person who was there for me always without any questions asked. He was my person. How can everyone just expect me to be okay? How can they expect me to forgive fucking Harry Potter? "

"Oh, also, I hate people who pretend they were close with Ced and pretend as if they are going through something horrible just because they knew him. They pretend as if they are going through the same shit as me,"

She exhaled loudly and chuckled before launching into a full-blown rant which made me smile. She must have had so much pent-up frustration and anger. I'm glad she's finally letting it all out.

"Even Cho for that matter. I get that she was his girlfriend and all, but she didn't know him. I mean, they barely dated. Seven months is not a long time to know someone. And I'm not saying she didn't know him but, she didn't know him the way I did. Nobody knew the real Cedric Diggory and now nobody is going to know him truly,"

"Nobody knew the Ced who cried for days when our grandfather died. Nobody knew the Ced that ran to Muggle world with me because I wanted to visit a carnival and sit on a Ferris Wheel,"

My brows furrowed up and recognizing my bewilderment, she motioned her hand circularly trying to explain me. "It's a swing that goes round in the air. I don't know how to explain I'll take you there someday,"

A smile crept to my face. "Sorry, go ahead. Nobody knew Ced?" I raised my hand between us for her to continue.

She scrunched her nose and looked at me with a mixture of guilt and sympathy. "I'm rambling, aren't I? It must be so annoying for-"

"No, it's not. Tell me, please."

"So, yeah, nobody knew the Ced that hated, and I mean, hated everything our dad said about me," a sour expression came to her face at the mention of her father.

"You know it's funny because we used to pride ourselves on knowing each other so well,"  she let out a small smile." Meg would get so jealous of him. And what makes me the saddest is that no one will know that Ced was fucking amazing. Nobody is going to know him as he was." 

She concluded with a loud exhalation and I put my palm on her hand and squeezed it gently. "Hey, he is going to be remembered as the hero who saved dumb Harry."

Her eyes filled with tears and I instantly started going through my words over and over in my head. Did I say something wrong? What should I do?

"I didn't want him to be a hero. I wanted him to be my brother, my best friend not some martyr. I don't know how to move forward from this? Not only that, but I don't know if I can, Pansy."

I was taken aback by the mention of my first name. We weren't on first-name basis and my arrogant ass made sure of that last year, so hearing my name felt really, really nice.

"I'm sorry. I-"

"Don't be." I gently placed my free hand on her cheek and she signed while leaning in my hold.

Merlin, I just want to kiss her again.

Just when I was about to address the elephant in the room, she did.

"I hope it wasn't a pity kiss," she confessed and I shook my head in dismissal of her stupid conclusion.

"You are the only person who isn't treating me with sympathy. I don't want that to change. Plus, I don't even think I'm stable enough to maintain something. I'm sorry but it can't happen again-"

My other hand reached to cup her face as well and without thinking I leaned in capturing her lips in a kiss.

Flustered and embarrassed, I retracted my body back until we weren't touching. "Y/n, I'm sor-"

"Shut up." she demanded breathlessly before kissing me abruptly, my hands still mid-air from the vibrant apology that she interrupted in the most pleasant way. Her hands made their way to my face and her thumbs ran down my cheeks affectionately. My arms snaked around her waist and landed on the small of her back, gently pulling her closer until no space was left between us.

A/N- Honestly, I really hated year 5 chapters before this probably because they were sad and slow. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't skip all the shit that went down last year.

I can't just ignore y/n's trauma, and she needs to mourn properly in order to move on.
With love,
Pri