Celestial Love (Anthony Rizzo)

.20 Celestial Love

Celeste

Turning 27 isn't anything special. I'm another year farther away from everything I once enjoyed. I have thousands of people online telling me happy birthday who don't even know who I am. What I do or why. But I do appreciate the love. I know there's people out there I have never met and never will who wish me well and I do really appreciate that.

As I roll over in bed I see a bunch of boxes sitting there with navy and white wrapping paper. I knew this was James' doing, he never missed a birthday or anniversary or anything like that. I'll give him that. But unless my dignity is in one of these boxes I'm afraid it doesn't make much of a difference.

"Morning beautiful" he says as he comes back into the bedroom. He had on a suit and he was off to wherever at this point. Don't really care much anymore. The greatest birthday gift I could receive is the fact that he's not going to be around.

"Morning James" I yawn as I sit up in bed.

"Happy birthday" he starts and I smile a little.

What trips people up is that there is good people who do bad things and bad people do good things. And the two get confused, I know I believed every person is good who is capable of bad. I truly thought everyone is good. That there is no such thing as a bad person.

I was wrong. I was so wrong because James was a bad guy who does good things. And when people see every good thing and some of the bad they truly believe he's not a bad person. But even Satan can give good gifts, it's not that hard. Especially when the gifts are hollow or something that benefits him.

"Why don't you open your gifts before I go" he wonders.

"Okay" I reply as I pull the sheets up.

I open every gift and thank him for the birthday presents. I mean he defiantly could have gotten me nothing or not acknowledged me at all. Toxic relationships always has that something that pulls you back in. That makes you think "hey, maybe it's not that bad." I used to say that a lot. But then I realized that he's not being kind, it's manipulation. It's "if I give you this you have to do what I say." I know that now, a little too late. But at least I know.

He goes off to wherever and I put away everything he just shoved in my face. He got me a lot of clothes and jewelry I'm sure I'll have to wear somewhere.

Once I shower and change I was ready for the day. I was going to visit mom as she finishes up her treatments. She was close to ringing that bell and going home. It's been over a year and I couldn't wait for her to be free of this cancer and free of the hospitals. Anthony is paying for her to stay a extra week and she's going to a Cubs game and wants to go on the boat. The fact that this man was real is hard to believe. Especially when I'm so used to being treated as a object, as a reusable unwanted piece of trash.

I get up to my moms room and as soon as I do I see balloons and streamers and everything. There was a cake and some presents on the table and I couldn't hide the smile on my face.

"Oh my god" I laugh.

"Happy birthday" my mom and Anthony yell as they jump out from hiding. I get tears in my eyes because this was the most amount of happiness I've felt in a long time.

"You guys" I sigh. "This is so sweet."

My mom comes over and places a big kiss on my cheek. She was looking really good right now and that was the best present I could have gotten.

"Happy birthday Callie" Anthony says as I walk over to him. I pull him into a big hug as he holds me tight.

"Thank you" I whisper in his ear.

"Any time" he promises.

We go to the table and I look at the cake. I couldn't help but laugh when I see a picture of me and my mom with Anthony photoshopped in there since we have zero pictures together. The words "happy birthday Amanda" was written under it as I shake my head. I'm guessing Anthony got the cake ordered.

They put in some candles and sing happy birthday off pitch and off beat but it's the thought that counts. It sounded beautiful to me because it was two people who truly cared for me and wanted to see me be happy.

I close my eyes and make a wish before blowing out the candles. Anthony cuts the cake and puts three pieces on three plates.

"Oh, I don't want a piece" I claim.

"You don't want a piece of your birthday cake on your birthday" he looks at me weird.

"I shouldn't" I try.

"Can I tell you something" he asks as he sits down next to me. He hands me a piece of cake and a fork and I reluctantly take it from him.

"Sure, why not" I giggle.

"You are an absolutely beautiful woman no matter what you put on your body and not matter what you put in your body. If you choose to eat this piece of cake you're still going to be a incredible person. If you don't want to eat it I won't judge you either. But if the reason you don't want to eat it is because he said you shouldn't or you think you're any less beautiful if you do, I need you to know that a piece of cake isn't going to change anything. And that he is a cunt" he tells me as I smile.

"That's mean" I tease.

"He deserves it" he assures me.

I pick up my fork and take a bite of the cake. I hate how good it is. Ice cream was the one thing I always allowed myself to eat but it was my birthday and this frosting was super tasty.

"This is good cake" I admit as he smiles at me.

"I was hoping" he insists.

After I eat a piece of cake I eat another because I couldn't tell you the last time I ate cake. All I know is that it has been a while.

Once my stomach settles I open presents. My mom got me a "fuck cancer" sweatshirt I've been wanting and a bunch of cute hats for the fall. She knew there was so many times I don't feel like dealing with my hair and throw a hat on. I never turn down a cute stocking cap.

I clean up the mess I made opening presents before I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see Anthony standing there with a little bag in his hands and I laugh.

"What is this" I ask as I take it from him.

"You really thought I got you nothing for your birthday? I'm offended" he scoffs.

"I don't expect much" I assure him.

"Well I worked really hard on it" he claims.

I take the stuffing out and pull out what's in the bag. I find a stuffed panda toy and I smile. It was actually really really cute.

"Awh Anthony" I say about to cry. This was so sweet.

"Press his stomach" he tells me.

I do what I'm told and all of the sudden I hear it talk. The panda says "the moon leaves every night just so the sun can appear. Maybe that's celestial love" in Anthony's voice and I nearly drop it. That was quite possibly the cutest most thoughtful thing I've ever heard. And it was the right thing from the wrong guy.

"Anthony I-" I start before a sigh escapes. "I don't even know what to say. This... this is the greatest gift I've ever gotten. I hope I can keep it forever."

"Well you will have to replace the batteries" he jokes as I roll my eyes. "But if you ever feel like a star lost in space, play that and you'll remember I'm out here somewhere thinking of you" he tells me.

In that moment I wanted to to press his lips on mine, I wanted him to tell me that we were grabbing my mom and running away. That we are going to stop trying to act like we don't feel the things we feel for each other and call a spade a spade.

But this is reality. None of that happened and I'm not sure it ever will. Instead I pull him down and place a soft kiss on his cheek. His grip on me tightens as my lips stay there longer than they should.

"Thank you, for everything" I whisper.