Celestial Love (Anthony Rizzo)

.74. All That I Can

Celeste

It feels like I went from not showing to not being able to hide my belly really quickly. If I wear loose fitting clothes you couldn't tell but it's May now, loose fitting clothes was not going to cool me down. I can get away with it for a little while longer but as the temperature begins to climb I'm going to want to slip into something a little thinner than these oversized shirts.

But for now it'll have to do. I still had a little over a week until my four month appointment where we will find out more about our little baby. Until then we just hang out and I satisfy all the weird cravings I've been experiencing.

And while I wasn't sure what to do with the spare room quite yet there was some things I'll need regardless of what we find out about the baby like a changing table and a crib and a dresser, stuff like that. So Anthony and I look through all the star decorations we can find on the Internet and try to narrow it down because I got a lot of different ideas going on in my head. That's the hard thing about being a designer, sometimes there's so many good things you can use you have to make some hard decisions. But as time goes along our vision becomes more clear and choosing gets a little easier. We were going to paint the walls a medium grey then get some artwork to put up to bring it all together. We find a canvas that said "twinkle twinkle little star do you know how loved you are" on it which was my favorite find. Of course we get star decals for the wall once it's painted and some cute little pillows for the swinging chair I insisted we keep around. That's my favorite spot in the room.

"Okay how about this nursing chair" Anthony asks.

"Baby that is a whole couch" I remind him as I point to the screen. 

"I know but I want to be there to help" he tries.

"You going to breast feed" I accuse.

"Well... no. But I read that it's uncomfortable at times so I can take care of you while you take care of the baby. And this way we will all be able to be together" he explains.

"That's actually really sweet" I smile up at him.

"You know I'm gonna be here for you every chance I get, right? Because I can't breast feed and sometimes the baby will just want it's mother. I know there's some things I won't be able to do.

But I'm going to do all that I can. I'll wake up however many times a night to take care of the baby and make sure you're good to go too. We're going to be just fine" he promises.

"Sometimes I get scared, I look at myself in the mirror and think I must be crazy. This time last year this news broke me and now, now I get to have a kid and love it. And I can give this kid a wonderful father in you. It's a great feeling knowing that I can have what I want and it won't cost me everything" I insist.

He just smiles down at me as he grabs my waist. His lips softly press to my nose making me smile. "I love you Callie" he reminds me and I just smile back.

"I love you too Tony" I assure him.

We order some of the furniture we knew we were going to need and things that we will have to put together which I would rather do before I am too big.

The room comes together quickly with the hanging chair and now we will have the feeding sofa, dresser and crib ready to go. I know a lot of things come with the baby shower but by the time everyone knows about all of this it'll be less than five months until the baby gets here and I wasn't willing to wait and see what we will get. Having a head start made me feel better and I was ready for what awaits us.

"Have you thought of names" Anthony wonders as we sit in the babies room in the swinging chair. It was still the only thing in there but that'll change here soon enough.

"I have. I've done some research on boys and girls names and started to narrow it down" I admit.

"Alright, what do you have for boys" he wonders.

"For boys I have Samson, Atlas, or Zeke" I recall.

"I'm assuming they all mean something to do with the stars" he accuses.

"That would be right" I smile.

"I love them. And what about the girls" he questions.

"If it's a girl I was thinking Aster, Stella, and Esther" I say.

"You've really thought about this huh" he accuses.

"I have" I nod, "I haven't gotten any middle names but we have time. I just know that this baby is going to be one of a kind and a name should reflect that. There's no two stars alike and there will be no one else like our baby. I can't wait to meet it" I admit.

"How many kids do you want" he asks me.

"I'm not sure. I wanted a bunch when I was younger but as time went on I didn't ever think I would have a kid. It felt more like a distant dream than anything" I explain.

"Well I'm here to tell you no dream is worth letting slip away" he insist.

I rest my head on his shoulder as I lace my fingers through his. "I think I want three kids" I finally tell him.

"Three" he asks.

"Yeah. The oldest will be wise and helpful, another parental figure but not to the point where their siblings hate them. The kind that when they get in trouble they'll call the oldest to help them so they won't get in trouble with us. And the middle child will be the one who is gifted and a handful. Someone who will have a lot of talents like you and not know how to deal with them. And the youngest will be the kindest. They'll be babied but that's not such a bad thing. We'll have it all figured out by then and raising the kids will be a breeze" I smile.

"You've got it figured out huh" he teases.

"Not at all. I know there is no way all my kids will like each other and that they will be able to help us out. But a girl can dream" I laugh.