Celestial Love (Anthony Rizzo)

.40. New Beginnings

Celeste

It's never easy to up and restart your whole life, especially when you have no control over what had been happening years prior to that moment. I'm not the one to go public about the divorce, the quieter and quicker this goes the better for me. No matter what I say people won't believe me so I'm not even gonna bother, my goal isn't to get people to turn on him. I just want to be me, I don't have access to the accounts in my name anyway so I can start over new. I'm done wasting time and energy on that man, he has already taken so much from me. I can't sit here and worry about what he's doing, he will be just fine without me. Maybe even better off. He finally signed the papers after some encouragement from the people around him and now it was just a mater of the lawyers finalizing some things. I finally have a chance to be more than I ever dreamed of.

The first thing I do is go online and sign up for college courses. I talk to a advisor and I find a online program that works for me. Unlike many people I enjoyed school so I was excited to finish. I didn't really need that college experience, I had plenty of that in Alabama in those two years. This is strictly business and I was excited to put my energy into this.

And I even got a little job baby sitting some of the kids in the Bears organization now that I'm suddenly free all the time. This way I can still see my only friends I have around here and play with some kiddos while getting my work done.

And of course a lot of my focus is on being with Anthony. He and Jordan have gotten close, both of them mean a lot to this city and have a love for the home they made here. Jordan never quite liked James and Carmen says it's because he's a great judge of character. Which makes the fact that he likes Anthony that much better.

Anthony comes over to the Howard's to keep me company while I try and get everything figured out. Classes start now and the girls will just send the kids over whenever they want a date night or maybe we will make Anthony watch them while us girls grab some drinks. There was so much I wanted to do I didn't even know where to start.

"So... what are we" Anthony randomly asks as I raise my eyebrow at him.

"Where is this going" I ask.

"Well you are literally in the middle of getting a divorce so I don't know if you want to introduce me as your boyfriend or..." he trails off.

"Well "being in love with a man I'm not with" is quite a mouth full" I tease as he laughs at me.

"I just don't want to make this hard for you. The title boyfriend complicates things but I also have been waiting for eight months to be with you" he admits.

"I get what you're saying, but the thought of you with another girl makes me want to shrivel up and die so you're not single. And us having pleasure visits defiantly adds to it. So if we're not together then what are we" I wonder.

"A mess" he smirks making me shake my head. "But for real. I am okay with waiting for you to be ready to go public with us. You have been on the cover of magazines and at ESPN shows and all these things with the same guy for 10 years. You've always been one half of something great even though you're amazing all on your own. I understand if you need to step away from all of that" he assures me.

"I really appreciate that Anthony, but I can't tell you what our future will hold. It's going to be different with you because if I'm not ready for the baseball girlfriend lifestyle I know you will help me figure things out. But being with you makes me happy and I don't care if people know. I don't care if they think I was a two timing gold digger. I care about you" I say as I cup his cheek.

"So how about a date? Then we can see what happens after that" he tries.

"Are you asking me out" I joke as his cheek gets warm in my hand.

"Yeah, I am. Will you come on a date with me" he wonders.

"Of course" I assure him.

He pulls me into a long kiss and I happily kiss him back. Eventually we go back to helping me make sure I get all the books and classes set up. I don't start baby sitting until tomorrow so I had the rest of the night to chill. So Carmen and Jordan and Anthony and I go out to dinner, grab a few drinks and just have a good time.

"This might sound crazy but it's been a few days and you already look a hundred times better" Carmen tells me

"I feel so much better. I've been able to build up my strength, eat some real food and my anxiety isn't lurking around every corner. Don't get me wrong, it's still there. I worry that I'm not good enough without him, I'm worried about what he's going to do now that he can't just blame it all on me. Anxiety is something that lasts through distance and time and I know that.

But for the first time in a really long time everything isn't so dark. I can finally see the light again and I'm inspired to keep going" I admit.

"This reminds me of the girl we met back in 2010" Jordan admits.

Him and James grew up in this organization together. No one knew him better than Jordan did. And no one got the short end of a stick more than Jordan did too. A quarterback can only be so good before he needs help from his recivers and tight ends and backs. It's not like in baseball where a hitter can do it all himself or a pitcher can dominate. A quarterback runs the plays but without someone blocking or catching you're going to end up flat on your ass. We all knew that, but the people they put around James is often over looked. They get traded and they go somewhere else and put up the same numbers because each player has a talent of their own and it is not a product of James' talent. You don't end up in the NFL riding on someone's back.

"That girl was weaker than she knew. She thought the way James treated her was a love language, not neglect and jealousy and downright pain. If that girl then knew what I knew now I'm sorry but I would have never been here" I insist

"If I knew your ex husband would turn out to be such a prick I would have left with you" he teases.

"Well here's to new beginnings" I say raising my wine glass. Everyone joins me as we clink our glasses together. "Let this not just be the end of one chapter, but the hemming of another."