Celestial Love (Anthony Rizzo)

.79. How Do You Do It

Anthony

The season of baseball is such a long one. 162 regular season games plus a post season. The longest break is for like five days and if you're in the allstar game your longest break is like 2 days. So there's not much time to sit back and reflect, to let the wins sink in and the losses roll off your back. You go home and wake up the next day and all of the sudden you have to do it all over again. That's why teams go through streaks, because a object in motion stays in motion so when you're winning you keep on winning and when you're losing... well you know.

And going into the allstar break here we were starting to slip. For some reason that's how it's been the past few years. Just because it's a trend doesn't mean it's a good thing. If anything you want to go into the break trending up so there's not as much pressure when you're come back. But unfortunately for me that's not how it's going.

I arrive home after a pretty bad game against the Pirates. I was looking forward to some cuddles with Callie and maybe some music. When I don't find her at first I assume she was in the babies room like she is most of the time these days. The interior designer in her is constantly adding things and taking them away. I think the room looks great so far but the mother in her isn't going to stop until she thinks it's good enough for her baby.

As I open the door I hear music softly playing from the babies room and I smile. I let myself in and find Celeste sitting in the hanging chair with her hand on her stomach. She smiles big when her eyes find mine letting me know that even though I sucked tonight she was still happy to see me. I'm glad someone is. 

I walk into her arms as I cuddle into her side. I rest my head on her growing belly hoping to be as close to little Stella as possible. Callie softly runs her fingers through my hair almost immediately calming me. A small smile finds its way to my face as my eyes slowly close. If coming home was always like this I don't think I could ever lose again in my life.

"She's starting to get pretty active in there. I'm afraid she's going to have your hyperactive personality" Celeste teases.

"So what I'm hearing is I got a little athlete in there" I tease.

"I'm starting to think so" she assures me.

"Maybe she'll play soccer like her mom" I say as I turn around so I was looking up at her. The stars on the ceiling surround her and it gave me the chills.

"If she's half as good at kicking a soccer ball as she is kicking my ribs she'll be a all star" she giggles.

"And what if she wants baseball" I question.

"Then she'll do baseball. Whatever it is her little heart desires she will have it. Because she won't know the bad kind of love like I do. She'll only know of a fathers love that comes from you, and that's the best kind of love I have ever found" she smiles.

"How do you do it" I ask her.

"Do what" she wonders.

"You always make me smile" I insist.

She just shakes her head as her eyes roll back. I smile even bigger knowing that she didn't have to tell me, but she was going to tell me anyway.

"Maybe it's because for whatever awful reason your soul decided it belongs with mine. Or the fact that you can always see things in me that I thought had faded. But my stars always shine for you, and they always will" she promises me.

"Can I have a kiss" I ask sheepishly.

She happily leans over and places her lips to mine. I feel Stella start to move and I abruptly break off the kiss.

"Woah" I gasp as I place my hand where I just felt her move.

"You give me butterflies... and a child" Celeste teases

"Does she move like this all the time" I ask ask I feel her move under my hand.

"Usually it's stimulated by something. A lot of times it's food, I know she likes certain things because she moves when I eat. And a lot of times when we kiss she moves around. She knows that this feeling you give me is a good one" she claims.

"Well that's pretty cool. I'm glad she likes me" I joke.

"We both do. And I hate seeing you so down after your games" she insists.

"I know baby. I try to hide it but it's not that easy. I'm sure you know that being around sports for what seems like forever now. It sucks to lose then have to go answer a bunch of questions about why I suck so bad. It's insufferable at times, kind of like sticking your foot in a bear trap then getting it out only to stick it back in there again.

But then I leave the field and I know that I come home to you and the stars. I can sit here, in a world of our own created by our love. No one is asking about plate approaches or losing streaks or fielding errors. It's just you, and me, and Stella, and this incredibly beautiful life I created. I can't hurt here" I promise.

"I wish it could always be like this" she sighs.

"Why can't it be" I wonder.

"Once Stella gets here everything changes. This room won't be quiet anymore and it won't be clean. It's going to be cluttered and we're going to be tired and the baby will be fussy. But this room will still be the best representation of love. It'll still be a place we can come and feel like we belong. Because this room will be filled with love, no amount of stats and numbers can be put on that. Whenever we're here we're free" she insists.

"I'm gonna miss it just being you and me. I feel like we barley had any time together just the two of us. Not that I'm not happy to be a dad, because it's always been a dream of mine to have a kid. But nights like this where it's you and me and the music, these are my favorites. We won't have that again until the last kid is out of the house" I sigh.

"How many kids are we talking" she raises her eyesbrow.

"One for now" I assure her.

"I'm sure we will find quiet times. My mom is already begging to watch over Stella and your parents would love to steal her for a little while and let us do something nice. For you I will always find the time" she promises.

"The feeling is mutual" I smile.