Celestial Love (Anthony Rizzo)

.94. Just The Begining

Anthony

I would like to thank god for making me be born as a man, because I could not handle being a woman. The periods sure, I know there pills and shots to help regulate those and not get them as often. But child birth? If I was a only child and a girl I'm sorry but my bloodline ends with me. Watching Celeste fight through contractions and her body stretching to lengths that should never be allowed is amazing. Before Stella came out I turned to my own mother and apologized. I had a big head and the fact that she went through all that trouble to finally meet me is incredible.

But Stella graced us with her presence making all of the screaming and the pain worth it. At least I hope it's worth it to Callie. But from the way that she immediately started to cry when she held her I think it was. It was honestly a beautiful moment, the best one of my life. Celeste was a rock star. She only cussed me out once and only almost broke my hand when she was pushing. And through it all her smile hasn't left since Stella was born.

That was at about 9 am. It's noon now and my parents and Hannah got a hotel to rest. They'll be back later to bring Callie whatever it is she wants and to help her out. I stayed here and made sure my girls are doing good.

Hannah brought in the same outfit Celeste wore when she was born and it fit Stella perfectly. She was a small little thing, still got a lot of pink to her skin. A head full of brown hair and just the smallest little fingers and toes. She was a blessing, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Her mom has yet to take her eyes off of her even though she hasn't slept in a very long time. But I don't blame her.

"She's perfect, isn't she" I ask. Celeste's lips pull tighter as a soft sigh passes them.

"She's everything I dreamed of. I still can't believe she's finally here. I never through I would have a family, that I would feel this fulfilled. But it's better than I ever imagined" she says softly.

"I'm so proud of you" I say as I cup her cheek. She leans into my hand as I hold her. She had to get stitches and sewn up and everything. All the muscles and tissues and linings will repair themselves in time but I know she has to be in pain. I know this had to suck. But she didn't wear it on her face. She was the happiest girl in the world.

"Thank you baby" she smiles.

Finally she rests a little and I try and stay quiet so she can sleep. Stella starts to get fussy so to stop her from waking her mom I pick her up. She was so small I was scared I was going to break her. But from the moment I picked her up she calmed down. Her eyelashes flutters open and I see her big blue eyes, just like her mom. She had my nose and my lips but her moms face shape and her eyes. A beautiful blend of the both of us, I couldn't ask for anyone better.

I sit down with her in her arms and move the blanket a little so it's out of her face. Apparently she didn't want food or a diaper change but just for someone to know she's here. And I am so happy she was.

We both end up passing out on the chair before my mom wakes me up. After taking picture of us of course, because who doesn't want pictures of their grand child and child open mouth sleeping in a hospital chair? I set her back into the crib and kiss Callie on the forehead. My mom and I go for a little walk as they continue to rest. I was tired too but I got some sleep last night before things started to get intense this morning.

"How are you handling being a father so far" she wonders.

"It's hard to explain. I feel like everything in this world just doesn't matter anymore. She is all that matters. Something so small is taking up so much room in my heart and it's over flowing. I have thought about nothing but these moments since I found out we were having a kid and now that it's here it's nothing like I thought. It's better than I could ever imagine. I take one look at her and I can't help but smile. She's absolutely perfect, everything I dreamed of. I love her so much and she hasn't even taken a poop" I chuckle.

"She's certainly precious. You're lucky you got a strong girl in Celeste. That was a easy birth" she claims and my eyes go big.

"That... that was what you guys consider easy" I gasp.

"Oh it's not easy. But she made it look a lot better than it was. It's going to take her a while for her to feel good again. Post partum kills and luckily for her you'll be around. But as a first time mother it's only going to get harder from here. Your body is trying to heal, adapt to no longer nurturing a child. She won't sleep because she's scared that when she does she will wake up and the baby isn't breathing. Everything she does will be for Stella so she won't remember to eat or drink or care for herself. As a mother her priority is now that baby. Feeding her and holding her so the baby doesn't get sick from being away from it's mother too long. Celeste is going to need someone to look over her and Hannah will but she won't be there forever" my mom reminds me.

"I'm going to do whatever it takes to help her out. I don't know what that is yet but I'll figure it out. She's barley taken her eyes off Ella since she's been born. I can feel how she just wants to cuddle up with her baby. I'll do whatever I can to help" I promise.

"Good. Because this is the beginning of sleepless nights and endless crying. And diapers. But it's also the beginning of building a love that is unexplainable and a bond that defies any explanation" she insists.

"I can't wait" I smile.