Undefined Love

Chapter 39: Icy.

Ray'vn

The lights came on. I looked up and saw Devon standing over me.

"Why?! Why?!"

"Why what?! What did I do?!" His eyes scolded me. "Get. Up," he said firmly, his voice as gruff as a dog's bark. I got up slowly, backing myself into the front door. "You don't learn do you?" "What?!" I didn't see the belt he had in his hand. He sliced me across my legs with it multiple times. I screamed. "Devon stop! Stop! Stop please?! What did I do?!" He hit me with the belt again, this time across my arms. "You thought you were slick?! You thought your music was gonna drown the sound coming from your room?!" "What are you-" My mouth instantly zipped shut.

"D-D-Devon I-I-I," he didn't let me utter another vowel or word from my lips.

The slashes from the belt seemed to just keep coming. They rained down on my skin and burned like poison. My skin was on fire by the time he threw the belt from his hands.

"The second time! The second fucking time! What?! You thought I wasn't gonna hear you?! You thought I wasn't gonna find out?!" "D-" "I don't wanna hear nothing from you. You disrespectful dirty little bitch," he yelled kicking me in my leg. I yelped desperately. "I went upstairs earlier to talk to you about last night but it seemed to me that you were doing enough talking with Chris, moaning and shit." "Dev-" "Shut up!" I sat up with my knees to my chest. "I can't believe you! I tried Ray'vn. I fucking tried! When Shawn was sitting there doing all that shit to you the other night when he was beating you while we were at the house and forcing you to make a sex tape and all this other shit, who was there for you Ray'vn?! Who was the one to get rid of the tapes and get you out of there?! Huh?! Was it J?! Was it Chris?! No. It was me! Me Ray'vn!" I looked down at the floor. "I helped you! I fucking helped you!" "But-" "I said shut up! God," he said before punching the wall. He paced while shaking his head.

"Do you know why I helped you Ray'vn?" I looked up at him then looked away. "Answer me." I sniffled. "No," I said barely whispering. "I helped you because I started to care. I started to care," he said, his voice trailing off.

I looked at him. I was surprised to see his eyes were wet.

"Dev-" "Don't say nothing to me. When Shawn kicked you in your stomach and I saw your reaction, you couldn't move Ray'vn. I felt your pain. Then I tried helping you and you started pushing me away. You pissed me off. But you know what, I came back here and I thought about it. I said to myself that I can't keep going on like this. I told myself, I need to start being a father again."

He stared at the floor then walked to the couch and sat down. I sat by the door, still with my knees to my chest, shocked and staring at the floor.

My mind couldn't process what Devon had just said. He was starting to care.

I stood up slowly, walking closer to him.

"D-Devon," I said, beginning to extend my hand out to touch his arm.

He swung his arm up, moving mine out the way, and standing once more as he towered over me. "Don't fucking touch me."

I couldn't understand why but I felt myself crying. "Devon I'm sorry..." "I don't want your sorrys Ray'vn!" I looked down, beginning to cry harder as I walked away into the kitchen. I stood by the sink, bawling, staring at the moon wondering why God hasn't decided to have the troubles in my life lay to rest. I couldn't and wasn't understanding! Was this a sign of something?!

I don't know. I really don't know!

I felt myself continuing to get even more frustrated by the minute. My phone began vibrating in my pocket. I slipped it out quickly hoping that it was Chris and J. It wasn't. It was Ray.