Undefined Love

Chapter 11: Before The Beloved

Ray'vn
Friday, August 1O

Surprisingly for the first time, being alone in my room with Devon wasn't so bad. He didn't try anything smart. He acted upon his words just as he had asked me. It was strictly homework.

He never bugged out or went all psycho crazy if I was lost about something. It was actually a fun time. We talked, listened to music, and we were just chilling as regular kids my age would do.

Things were pretty good until Chris walked in. My mood changed. Devon had gone quiet, meanwhile Chris stood there staring. "Can I talk to Ray'vn alone please?" You could tell by the sound of his voice how terrified he was of Devon.

To be honest, I don't and can't really blame him. Devon nods his head and leaves. Nothing said, nothing done.

Something's really wrong.

Chris walks over and sits on the side of my bed in front of my books.

I could feel him looking at me and knew he wanted to say something, but I kept writing and ignored him. "I'm sorry about last night."

Is he dumb?

"Sure you are. Get out of my face Chris."

He takes my pencil from my hand, closes my books, and moves everything to the side, pulling me closer to him. I turn away. "Ray'vn please I'm really am sorry this time." I push the side of his face to move him away from me.

"I'm getting real tired of this. I'm sick of dealing with your bullshit Chris! As a matter of fact, I hate it. I hate you. You don't get it do you? One minute you're cool then the next you turn into some freak! I'm tired of you constantly taking advantage of me then saying you're sorry and that you won't do it again because at the end of the day you turn around doing the same thing all over again!"

He had his head held down the entire time I was talking then when he finally raised it to look at me, I couldn't deal with what I had saw. His eyes were wet and had changed to a bright hazel color like they always did whenever he was sad.

"Don't look at me like that." "Like what?" I simply look down and shook my head. "Ray'vn, like I said I'm really sorry for what I did to you last night. I just wanna make it up to you." "Too bad Chris. I'm done. You had your chance and you blew it."

He took his snapback off and threw it at the wall. "God Ray'vn! Things aren't easy for me as it is. Only if I could tell you..."

Only if? What's he talking about?

I look at him solemnly.

"Chris what do you mean?" "Don't worry about it. Are you gonna let me do it or not," he asks sniffling.

I don't want him to keep doing this and take it as a habit. I don't want him to think I'm always gonna make his mistakes slide, but I guess this time again wouldn't hurt. "Sure, but just know that this is the last time. I'm not saying yes as in being your girl, I'm saying yes as a friend. I'm through being your play toy." I lay back, then slip under the covers to go to sleep.

He changes his clothes, shuts off the lights, then off to sleep we went.
__________________________________
Ray
(Friday)

I haven't talked to Ray'vn once this entire week. She's been avoiding me. Everytime I see her at school or something she acts as thou I'm not there or even looks at me the same. Did I really mess up that bad?

It's getting hard to concentrate on things. The only thing my mind could really focus on is Ray'vn.

At night, I open my window staring at hers hoping she'd come out. She doesn't.