Undefined Love

Chapter 31: Opening Up.

Ray'vn's P.O.V September 30, 2012

SWAT! SWAT!

A toy continued to happily slam against the side of my face while I slept.

Finally as if beating me with a baby rattle wasn't enough, laughter filled my ear & a small wet hand drummed on my cheek.

Who else could it be but Jere's baby brother.

I sat up, holding my head. The sun shining inside the window was way too bright. I stared in front of me at the chunky little man. "Hi," I said through my scratchy morning voice.

He laughed then crept forward smacking my thigh with the rattle.

"Hey! Why are you hitting me? Huh," I said to him playfully, gobbling him up then soaring him around like a plane.

From looking at him, there's no way Jere could ever have a reason to deny him as a brother.

"Haven't seen him laugh that much in a while," J said walking into the lounge area. "Oh." For some reason, I felt a bit awkward because I wasn't expecting him to be watching me.

"Sorry if I scared you. I brought you some breakfast." He set the tray down next to me.

"Oh. Thanks." "Ma left you a toothbrush, towel & wash rag in the bathroom. She said she had some stuff in her room for you on her bed."

I smiled slightly.

"She didn't have to do that." "There was no way I could tell her not to."

The both of us drew quiet meanwhile his brother wandered off to his toys.

I had began eating breakfast. I was frightened when I looked up. Jere couldn't take his eyes away from me. "What?" He sighed. "You alright?" I wanted so badly to smile but I couldn't. "Yeah. I'm fine." Once again, there was silence.

He took a deep breath. My eyes left my food once more.

Water ran from his eyes.

"J what's wrong?" "I'm sorry." "For what?" "For not stopping you from leaving with Shawn the other night. If Chris and I had done something, it wouldn't have happened."

"J please." "Ray'vn..." "Jere. Please stop." "Alright. Alright." Our silence prolonged for another five minutes. All you could hear was his brother banging, enjoying his play time. "V. What were you talking last night?" "About what?" "When you told your Mom that you had been through a lot... since he came around." "J I don't wanna talk about it." "I'm not a stranger anymore V. Please. I know it's hard for you but talk to me."

I know that I can trust J enough to tell him about what's been going on. Except, I can't tell him about Chris. If I did I'm not sure what would happen but it wouldn't be good. I can't keep everything bottled up for too long. As scared as I am, something in my mind is telling me that he needs to know.

Looking in his eyes, I felt like I wasn't the only one enduring the pain that I've been feeling.

All this time, Chris and his family, Jere, his mother and his family were all dealing with the same problems that I was.

I set the plate down and pushed it off to the side. "Jere can I trust you?" He slid down onto the floor next to me from the window seat. He held my hands. "Of course. You know you can trust me Ray'vn." I took a deep breath. "You promise me you won't try to do anything stupid?" He said nothing. "J, please promise me." "Alright Ray'vn. Alright," he whined, his voice trailing off.