Undefined Love

Chapter 55: Star Light

Chris

Knock-knock-knock.

From the lightness of the knocks on my door, I knew it was Ray'vn.

I stood up from bed and walked to the door. I switched the locks and opened the door. She looked up and smiled at me. No words came from her lips; she walked in and sat on my bed.

She took off her jacket then put it over the chair. She put her shoes beside it. She took off her pants, revealing a pair of shorts underneath. I watched her every move so I'd be able to tell her when to stop.

She had her limit of remaining in her tank top and shorts.

She walked over to me and held my hands. "I missed you."

She smiled; I had no choice but to smile back. I've been dying to have her here and she's now standing right in front of me. "I missed you too."

She jumped up to kiss my cheek.

I laughed. "You need to grow." "You need to stop," she replied giggling. She stared at me. Seconds later, she was lifting my shirt over my head. I took off my Adidas slippers. She took hold of my hands again then pushed me to sit on my bed. She held my face in her hands and kissed me.

"I missed your lips," she said when she pulled away.

She pushed me to lay down then snuggled in front of me. She pulled up the covers then grabbed her phone from her jacket pocket.

"Hey," she said, forcing me to look at the camera.

The picture was so off guard, but her smile just made it so much better. We laid in my bed taking pictures and making videos.

Another knock came at my door.

"Hey man," Jeremy said walking in holding Zai in hand and Lala standing next to him.

"Aww Karla, Ray'vn took your spot."

"What?" Ray'vn sat up.

"She's been wanting to sleep with me now, but you're here so-" "So what? She can sleep in the middle. Your bed is big enough." She got up and took Zai from Jeremy. Ray'vn began playing with the both of them.

J walked over to me.

"She just got here and you guys are already laid up; Chris don't do anything stupid man."

"I'm not J. Of course I want it, but I just want to enjoy the fact that she's here. Can nugget please sleep with you tonight?"

He sighed.

"Alright, but you're making it up to her tomorrow."

"Okay."

We hugged good night. He took Zai away from Ray'vn and told her good night, letting Karla down easy offering her another cookie before bed.

I kind of feel bad because she won't be going to bed anytime soon if she doesn't get that cookie, much less after eating it.

"Why did you make her leave," Ray'vn whined when I locked the door.

"What," I said hugging her. "You don't want to spend time alone with me?"

"No, I do but-"

"But what?"

"I don't know long I'll be here."

"You'll be okay, alright?" She nodded her head. Then, she shut the light off and pulled me back to the bed where we cuddled up. She surfed the channels for a movie. We settled on Think Like A Man Too.

We'd gotten so comfortable being fit together, I didn't know that I'd fell asleep. I opened my eyes in the middle of the night to find her snuggled in my chest. Her left leg was hooked over my waist.

I picked up her phone that laid at my side after she fell asleep, and snapped a picture with us just how we were.

Nothing could change how good I felt having her in my arms.

My mind started wondering as I moved through her pictures. At least until she took it from me.

"How do you expect me to sleep like a queen with you snapping pictures and having bright ass light in my face?" I kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry."

She sat up.

"Now I can't sleep."

"Will this make it better?" I got up and looked in my closet. I took out one of those star making night globes and plugged it in. I shut the TV off and laid back down. She sat up staring at it.

I watched her. She seemed so mesmerized. I got butterflies in my stomach, until I heard her sniffling.

I sat up.

"Hey, hey. Baby what's wrong?" She looked at me. "You don't remember?" "What?" "Those days when I would come over to your house and I'd want to take a nap but I couldn't sleep-"

"So I would always do this to help you fall asleep because you love watching the stars at night."

She was starting to get chills because she began rubbing her arm.

"Look at me."

Just as I was about to tell her I love her, she kissed me.

It was one of those hurtful kisses where I could tell she was feeling pain.

I kissed her back so she knew I felt the sane way, whether she already did or not.

She climbed on top of me and straddled my waist. I let it slide because I knew she was just trying to ease her pain. She put my hands on her hips then took off her tank top. Our body temperatures were rising and she kissed me harder. My mind kept telling me to stop, but stomach was saying otherwise.

"Ray'vn," I said in between kisses.

I made sure my hands remained where she put them, not moving an inch. "Stop." She continued kissing me. "Why?" She still didn't stop.

Then she reached behind her back and unhooked her bra.

I couldn't do it.

I pulled back.

"Ray'vn stop."

She covered her chest and looked at me. "What's wrong?" I took a deep breath. "I want to but I can't. I-I-I told Jeremy I wouldn't."

"So what? This has nothing to do with him." "Ray'vn... please."

She got off of me and put her bra back on and got back into bed, making sure to leave space between us.

She turned her back to me and I knew she was crying.

"Ray'vn..."

No response.

"Ray'vn, baby, I'm sorry," I pleaded, rubbing her arm.

"Don't touch me," she said getting up. I jumped up and held her hand.

"Ray'vn..."

She started opening the locks.

I held her hands so she'd stop. I closed them back and she tried walking past me. I held her waist and placed her against the wall and kissed her lips.

She pushed me.

"Fuck you."

She turned the star light off, climbed back into bed, and covered her head.

I stood there staring at my door.

I sighed heavily.

I took my pillow off the bed and threw it on the floor then grabbed another blanket from the basket in the corner.

I laid there crying until I fell asleep.