Undefined Love

Chapter 6: My Life A Living Hell.

Ray'vn

There were no words that could describe how much my cheek hurt. The throbbing pain was unbearable. It was extremely swollen. Thank god for make-up. My face felt dirty by the amount that I'd put on this morning to hide the finger marks.

As if my night wasn't enough, my Mom arranged for Titi to go back home by the time I get home from school, so I had to say good bye to her this morning. Then she tells me that Chris has to sleep in MY room! She clearly stated that she's not and will not turn the workout room into a bedroom plus Chris isn't sleeping on the couch. 

Who knows how long he'll be staying with us? It's like seeing him at school wasn't enough.

I've had to try my best to hide from Ray all day. He would lose his mind if he saw me like this. 

Thankfully, we don't have the same lunch period. I sat in my seat, playing around in my pasta. From the mood that I was in, I didn't really feel like eating. Out of nowhere, some kid trips and his entire tray of food spilled all over me. 

I had tomato sauce all over my new skinny jeans, orange juice on my shirt with salad and dressing in my hair.

Great! Just fucking great!

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I didn't-" "JUST SAVE IT!" I grab my book-bag storming out of the cafeteria. You wouldn't believe who I ran into.

Ray.

"Hey NeNe, what happened? Why do you-" "Don't ask." 

"Okay, but what's that red mark on your-" "Look Ray, I have to go." I push past him and his friends. As I made my way through the halls I could hear footsteps trailing behind me. I knew Ray was following me. 

"Ray'vn wait!" He grabs my arm for me to stop. I slip out his grip and keep it moving. He slips his way in front of me, stepping from side to side as I kept trying to go around him.

"Ray can you leave me alone please," I ask trying to hide that I was crying. He starts talking to me quietly with a loving feel to his voice. 

"NeNe look at me." I shake my head. He holds my chin slowly moving it upward. My stomach felt queasy looking in his eyes. My hands start shaking. "Stop crying. Tell me who did this to you." "No one Ray, just leave it alone."

My voice kept trailing off because of the lumps in my throat. "No NeNe, I'm not. Someone hurt you and I wanna know who so I can help you." "Help me? You can't help me Ray! Even if you tried, it'd be no good." 

"Baby, when has me trying to help you never been any good? Even if it means you being happy for a short amount of time? Now if you don't wanna tell me, it's fine. I just want you to know that I'm always gonna be the one to love you when no one else is here." 

It lifted my spirits hearing him call me baby. It made me smile. "Of course you will Ray." We both giggled and I wiped my eyes.

He goes to kiss my cheek and I moved my head reluctantly. Our lips met. Kisses on the cheeks wasn't a part of my limits anymore. The way our lips moved together was soothing. It felt nice as if they should be that way. I pulled away and smiled then walked off. He leaned against the lockers in a daze as I went down the stairs. 

Ray

As I watched Ray'vn walk away, I was still living in the moment. Did she really kiss me or was I dreaming? Either way, I'm glad it happened because I know now that she feels drawn away from our line of friendship. 

She doesn't want it that way, but I'm not pushing it. I'll wait for her call. The bell rings as everyone burst through doors going for their lunch periods or heading back for their next class. I see Chris coming my way.

Of course I had to stop him to see what's up. "Hey, Chris! Let me talk to you for a minute." He turns to me trying to be smooth. I fold my arms across my chest and throw it at him.

"You know what's wrong with Ray'vn?" "What are you talking about? You really stopped me from going to class to ask me this?" "Just answer my question. Why does she have that bruise on her face?" 

"Why are you assuming that I'd know why? What? You think I hit her?" "I don't know man you tell me." I could tell he was getting mad by the way his expression changed. "All I'm saying is, if you ever try putting your hands on her again? You're dealing with me." 

I push him out my way and walk to class. 

Ray'vn

Finally I'm home or should I say back in this hell house. As I step through the door and throw my keys on the coffee table, I take off my boots then put them in the closet. All I could think about is getting a nice shower and going to sleep. 

Thank God, Mr. Star Basketball had practice. I close the closet door and jump seeing Devon standing there. I swallow, scared of what would happen next. "H-hi Devon." 

"Hi? Hi? I should be beating your ass for that nasty ass attitude you had last night. Didn't I tell you not to say anything about what happened the other night," he asks walking toward me. "Devon I'm sorry." 

"You don't know how bad I wanna beat you for that shit, but I'm not. Instead, I have something better in mind." I fell back on the couch and his hands explored my body. I knew what that meant. 

"No! Devon please don't do this." He hadn't done anything yet and I was already on the verge of tears. "No. You should've thought about that before deciding to open your mouth." From there, the misery continued from the living room to my room. 

The more I fought, the less it helped. Every time I fought he faked as if he was going to hit me. It caused me to flinch.

When I remembered this happening the first time, Devon made me feel 10x worse. I can't even tell how much it hurt. 

All I could do is take it and wonder why this has to be happening. Only God knows why he's putting me through this. Only he knows why my dumb ass mother cares more about him than me. I feel so lost and alone.
_________________________________

I had just woken up. By now it was around 7pm. My thighs ached and I had a tingly feeling in my stomach. I felt absolutely sick!

I head downstairs to make something to eat. I needed a real good meal, so I decided to make some rice and beans with fried chicken. 

I stood by the the counter turning the chicken in the flour when someone comes up behind me rubbing on my thighs and breathing on my neck. Then I realize it was Chris. "What the fuck is wrong with you Chris?! You scared me!" 

"Damn, I'm sorry." "Yeah, you're always sorry." I go to the table and sit down drinking my juice. "Ray'vn could we please not bring up the past again. I told you already that was a mistake and I wouldn't do it again!" 

"Whatever Chris. I'm not going there with you." I get up to check on the stove but he pulls me to sit back down. "I wanna talk to you." I could tell by the look on his face told that what he had to say was serious.