Undefined Love

Chapter 38: Torment Over Happiness.

Ray'vn

My eyes opened to a stroke of heat savoring the room.

I raised my head from the pillow to look around. I didn't realize where I was at first. Then it came to me that I was in my room. I turned over. The opposite side of the bed was rustled but Chris wasn't laid next to me.

I turned up my fan that had been standing next to me. Even though the air was warm, it felt good, blowing through my hair and mellowing my headache. My left leg felt weird. I removed the covers to stand up. My foot was wrapped up from my ankle down. It felt tingly when I rubbed it. I tried standing up and couldn't. I sat right back down. The feeling went from zero to nine instantly.

I sat there a minute waiting for it to subside a bit to stand again.

It was then my curtain wiggled at my window against the air blowing in. Ray had came to my mind. I didn't know what to think of him right now. He was just there.

I took a few steps to my window seat quickly then sat down.

I tied up the curtain, looking over at his window. It was closed. My heart hurt. I felt like I had no entry into his world anymore. A lone tear went down my face.

"Don't do this Ray'vn. Don't cry," I told myself.

I wiped it away.

I then decided I should head downstairs. I went to brush my teeth then turned down the fan and hopped to leave my room. I got to the top of the stairs and it seemed like a long way down. I stepped down with my right foot first then my left. I made it worst for myself, accidentally pulling my weight up on my left foot.

I yelped in pain and sat down on the step.

The noise that came from the kitchen stopped. Devon walked out. I looked at him, rubbing my foot.

He walked up the stairs, telling me to hang my arm around his neck. He picked me up bridal style and brought me down the steps. He rest me down still holding most of my body weight up for me. "Do you think you can walk on it now?" I shook my head.

He let go, taking a few steps back into the kitchen.

He signaled his hand telling me to come. He watched. I made it as far as the fridge.

I was okay to walk so he went back to cooking. I grabbed a bottle of water then slowly creeped behind him. I peeped around his arm. "What you making?" "Chocolate chip pancakes, eggs, bacon, & hash browns."

"Okay papa D." He chuckled. I walked to the other side by the counter, playing with the water bottle and watching him.

"Devon?" He looked at me. "What happened last night?" He stopped working and stared into my eyes. I wasn't used to him staring at me so hard unless it was in a lustful way but it was different this time. He was actually telling me something but I didn't know what he was saying. I liked it but it felt pretty uncomfortable. I broke the stare and looked down. He went back to what he was doing.

I looked up at him then back down.

"Did Chris and J make it?" It took him a minute to answer after sighing. "Yeah."

A mere smile came to my face.

"Where are they?" "Out front." I put the water bottle down and walked to the front door. I opened it. There sat my boys.

They stopped talking and looked at me.

I limped over and sat in between them. I turned to Chris on my right and hugged him tight then kissed him. It was J's turn. I hugged him and for some reason I didn't wanna let go. My mind was still fuzzy on a lot of what happened last night except the bodies and faces of people I killed. Despite that, J's arms felt so warm and familiar upon the faint chill of breeze. He let go and kissed my cheek. I smiled.