Undefined Love

Chapter 51: Illusions

Ray'vn Oct. 7

I carefully ran my fingers in circles around my foot that was nearly taken off in the events from a few nights ago.

"You okay?"

I stared up at Shawn. "Yeah. It's weird how I don't feel pain anymore and it's healing on its own the way it is. It's creepy."

"You're a warrior, that's why," he said smiling. I laughed a bit.

He sat up in the couch beside me and leaned over. He looked at me. "What?"

"I'm sorry about last night."

"What about it?"

"The way I yelled at you earlier in the evening and when you walked in the room, I-"

"Shawn it's fine. Don't worry about it."

"No Ray'vn. I just- It's been some time since I last had anyone and I'm really trying to change myself. I didn't want the way that I was feeling to consume me then end up hurting you."

It was hard for me to look him in the eyes.

"Well you didn't and I'm fine Shawn. Will you relax? You don't scare me as much as you used to... at least right now for that matter."

He shook his head staring out the window.

There was silence for a few minutes before he spoke again.

"What do you wanna do?"

"I don't know. It's still raining out today. What can we do?"

"It's still pretty early. We can just hang out for a while and think of something later." "Okay. That sounds fine."

He stared at me and laughed.

It was awkward.

"What?" He sighed. "This might be weird but do you wanna lay up and watch Netflix," he laughed.

I couldn't help but laugh with him. "Oh my gosh. If I say yes, will you promise not to say that again?" We laughed about it together. He stared into my eyes and smiled.

I felt myself getting butterflies looking in his eyes.

Chris takes such small genes from his mother; it scares me.

After we retrieved some snacks from the cabinets, we returned to the couch. Shawn made it there first.

He laid down, legs stretched out and propped over the armrest. I stared at him as if asking where do I go. He moved over, his back now rested against the couch. I smiled then set the snacks on the coffee table. I laid down in front of him, snuggling my back into his chest. "Good," he asked. "Yeah." He covered the both of us with the blanket and itched his head in my neck as we began watching the Honey movie.

I opened my eyes and found the TV off and the room in mere darkness besides the faint light coming from candles scattered around the room.

I feel so comfortable and warm that I barely want to move.

I felt an arm wrapped around my waist. I turned my head. Shawn lay there still asleep. It wasn't until then that I knew Chris and his father could never deny their relation to one another. The resemblance between the two especially now as I've seen them both at bay, in the midst of their slumber, my heart melted as I felt like I was looking at Chris himself.

I can't understand why, but I caressed his face.

He moved slightly before finally opening his eyes. It took a bit for him to adjust to the lighting but when he did, dark green crystals stared back at me.