Undefined Love

Chapter 61: Dead On Earth

Chris

"Why the hell won't you guys tell me anything?!"

"Ray'vn, calm down, please!"

"I'm not gonna calm down until you guys tell me something." She looked at all of us for nearly five minutes; neither of us spoke. Then she pulled her phone out her pocket. "What are you doing Ray'vn?" "Nothing," she said moving away from me. I caught a glimpse of her screen. She was calling Rico.

"Ray'vn give me the phone," I said trailing her.

She finally put it to her ear still walking away. I grabbed her hand and she ducked away from me. "Chris leave me alone." "Ray'vn, stop and give me the phone." "I said leave me alone! Hello," she said answering the phone.

I grabbed her around the waist, raising her up, and throwing her over my shoulder.

"Chris, put me down!"

I brought her to the kitchen and put her on the counter, snatching the phone from her hand and hanging it up. I slipped it into my pocket.

I folded my arms and she gave me a death glare.

"I hate you."

"It's fine because you love me even more."

"This isn't a fucking joke Chris!" "And I'm not laughing Ray'vn." I don't what the hell possessed her to slap me, but she needed to chill. "You seriously need to calm down." She slid off the counter, sizing me up.

She slapped me again.

I stood there.

Then again.

I still stood there.

Then, again!

I grabbed her hands and slammed her into the wall behind me. I held her wrists. "I told you to calm the fuck down." Out of nowhere, she spits in my face.

I let her go instantly and backed away.

I felt my body temperature rising. I stood there staring at her, trying my ABSOLUTE best not to hit her.

"I'm steady here trying to help you and you do this?" "Help me? Help me Chris? When was the last time you 'helped' me?" "You don't know what you're talking about right now, so you need to stop."

"How the hell are you helping me Chris?!" "By not telling you shit that's not gonna do nothing but hurt you!" "Not telling me about Ray is hurting me!" "Well, it's better than the details hurting you." "I hate you." "You want to tell me something I don't know Ray'vn?!" "Fuck you!" I stood there laughing.

"What are you so mad about Ray'vn?" "I'm tired of you and your games." "What games Ray'vn?!"

"Stop fucking with my emotions Chris!"

"I don't have time for this shit." I turned and started walking away. Out of nowhere, a box of macaroni flies past my head. I turned back around. "What the fuck is your problem Ray'vn?!" "You! You're my problem Chris!" "If I'm such a fucking problem to you then why the fuck did you want to come see me, huh?! If you hate me so much then why the fuck are you still here?!"

She froze for a couple seconds then opened the cabinet and took out glass dishes and started throwing them at me, screaming 'I hate you.'"

Everywhere I moved she was throwing until I finally reached I grabbed a glass from her hands, pushing her into the wall again. This is time we were fighting.

For the first time ever, we were actually fighting and she wasn't taking none of my bullshit either. She threw her punches and took her hits. We both dodged each others blows, taking slaps and slams all over the damn kitchen.

I don't know how the hell she got me on the floor, but she did, and it was Devon who took her off of me. J just helped me up and moved me to the side.

"I regret ever, ever, ever being with you and allowing you to take my virginity away from me!"

"I don't regret being with you or taking it Ray'vn! Unlike you, I know what the fuck I want!"

"You know what I want Chris?! A world without you! If I had that, I wouldn't have to be fucking hurting so much! Dealing with my parents divorce would have been enough!"

"And who was the one fucking helping you get through it besides Ray, Ray'vn?! Who?!"

"The only person," she started, getting away from Devon. "Who actually fucking helped me was Ray! At least he NEVER put his hands on me! He never raped me countless times out of many!" Devon grabbed her and she elbowed him. He put her down, favoring his ear.

"Ray'vn, that's enough now," J barked at her.

She climbed the counter.

"No J, it's not."

J was about to pull her off the counter, but I held him.

"Nah, let her go ahead." "Nah. She needs to chill out."

He goes to get her down. She slammed her foot against his chest. "I'm tired of everything! I need to be happy! I need you gone! I can't stand it anymore! I regret meeting you and I regret seeing your face," she yelled crying. "I just wish you would end it!"

I didn't know how to feel at this point.

My heart caved in and crumbled past the earth's core with no return.

"You really feel that way Ray'vn?" She sat atop the counter, staring at me, tears like a tsunami going down her face. "Tell me Ray'vn! You really feel that way?!" She shook her head like she was losing her mind then looked at me. "Yes Chris, sometimes I do." I stood there, my blood now past cold-- frozen solid. The room remained quiet for a long time. I couldn't even cry. My soul was dead. I walked closer to her, now directly in her face. "If that's how you really feel, tell me to go." "Chris, stop man. She doesn't mean it. Ray'vn stop fucking with him," J cut in. "J stay out of this," I told him. "Tell me Ray'vn. Look me in my eyes and tell me to go." She looked down. I grabbed her chin aggressively, and turned her eyes back to me. She looked in my eyes as if her soul was being casted out of her body. "TELL ME!" She whimpered and closed her eyes tight, then calmed herself again. "Go," she said her voice lower than a whisper.

She opened her eyes once more, meeting mine.

"I want you to remember this moment, this day, this hour, this second, when you told me you wanted me out your life forever. You were the one who told me you wanted me dead." She pushed my hand away, whimpering worse than before. "Remember you made your decision between me and Ray-- you chose him. From this day on, I'm non-existent. You don't know me, and I don't know you. I'm not a part of you, but I'm not sure if I I could say you won't be a part of me, but what I do know is, I'm dead to you."

I made my way out the kitchen when I felt her grab my hand.

"Chris."

I snagged her hand off me and pushed her. I turned back and continued on.

I was now a man-- a walking, living, breathing damn near 17 year old man, pronounced dead on earth.

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