Undefined Love

Chapter 3: The Big News

Ray'vn

I wake up this morning with dried tear marks on my face. My head is pounding. My thighs are burning and my whole body is aching.

Last night was-- I don't even know what it was. I can't find the right words to describe it. Only God himself knows. Why do the worse of things always have to happen to me? Why can't my life go back to how it used to be?!

I liked it so much better that way.

I slowly ease myself out of bed to go to the bathroom. My legs couldn't withstand my body weight, so I literally had to crawl. When I got there, I fill the tub with warm water and sit in there letting it ease the pain. It helped, but not very much. I dressed in sweats and a t-shirt. I cautiously carried myself down the steps. I hoped to find a decent thing here to eat. It's sad that most times I can't because my Mom uses her paycheck to kill the bills, also paying for car insurance and what not. Instead of using whatever's left to buy food for the house, she uses it on herself to go to parties. Most of the time I live off on the little money that my Aunt sends me from Florida.

Devon on the other hand, doesn't even try to help. The only person he cares about is himself. In the kitchen, Mom and Devon were sitting at the table eating pancakes, eggs, and bacon.

There were even a few grocery bags on the floor. I knew something was going on, but I could care less. The only thing on my mind is food. The room was quiet. I sat down at the table and Mom gave me a plate.

It was hard to eat with the both of them staring at me. "Um, is there something you guys wanna tell me?" Mom looks at Devon then smiles. She brings her hand up from off her lap.

I'm seeing things right now. Am I hallucinating?

My fork fell out of my hand and I couldn't hold my glass steady. "Devon and I are getting married!"

My ears are deceiving me.

"WHAT?! Mom you're not serious."

"YES! He proposed last night when I came in from work." This can't be happening. "Mom no! I don't want a step-dad! I don't want to call someone else Dad than my real father and him?! You can do better than that Mom."

"Excuse me, but I'm a grown woman and I make the decisions for this family now. Your father's done gone on with his life so what's wrong with me doing the same? And how dare you tell me who I can or can't marry?"

"That's the problem! You don't know who you're marrying! Mom he-" I catch myself and didn't finish the sentence. Devon looks at me with a straight face as if threatening me to say something. He knew what I was gonna say.

"He what?" "Nothing, never mind. How long until the wedding?" "A month." I get up and walk over to the sink. "Ray'vn, whether you like it or not, Devon and I are getting married."

She leaves and goes upstairs. Devon touches my arm. I turn around and snap at him. "Don't fucking touch me." He raises an eyebrow. "You have a dirty mouth there for a 15 year old." He pushes me into the counter.

I bite down on my lip to stop myself from screaming. A sharp pain shot through my back. You better watch yourself before I have to put you in your place." I didn't say anything. "Now you don't have nothing to say huh? Get used to the idea because your Mom and I are getting married."

He smirks. "Oh and uh, I really enjoyed our time last night. We should do it again. Daddy's feeling a bit displeasured," he says licking his lips. "You disgust me." I push past him and go back to my room.
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Yay it's party time!

No.

I wish all this wasn't real.

Mom had decided that she'd like to have a little party tonight to celebrate her "beloved" wedding engagement.

There's so many people in the living room that you can barely get space to walk anywhere. My house was filled with a bunch of wild 20-30 something year old's drinking, yelling and dancing on each other.

"You're not in high school anymore. Go sit your ass down," I thought to myself.

Mom said I couldn't stay in my room. I had to be in the kitchen and give my attendance to the snacks and food.

Yeah, just have me be your damn maid as if I said I wanted to.

I was serving myself a plate of food and getting a drink when someone tries to push up on me. Only this time it wasn't Devon. It was Chris. "What are you doing here?" "Don't worry about that. I just wanted to see my baby." "Stop calling me that! I'm not your baby and I'm never going to be. Not again."

I sat down to eat and he follows me. "Ray'vn give me another chance. That was years ago and I was upset. I won't ever hurt you like that again." "That's my point Chris! You said that you would never hurt me. I was young and I trusted you with my heart. What's sad is the fact that you were the first boy I gave myself to." "I loved every minute of too." He kisses along my arm. I got up. "You're sick."

"Ray'vn seriously come on, things don't have to be this way. Deep down somewhere you know that you miss me." Something in his eyes made my stomach bug. As much as I hate what he did to me, part of me does still miss him.

"Okay Chris, I do miss you, but it's best for the both of us that we stay our separate ways. Neither of us are good for each other. Things aren't ever gonna be the same."

I turn around and he pulls me closer to him then kisses my lips. I had forgotten how soft his lips were. I didn't want to kiss him, but something about it felt like they belong.

My head is playing mind games with me!

He pulls away smiling. I couldn't bare to look at him, so instead I walked away and went outside. I look over at Ray's house and saw him sitting on his stairs outside with his friends. I walk over and stand there. "Ray," I say in a low voice while playing with my fingers.

All of them looked at me and I got nervous. I don't like being around his friends sometimes because I feel like they judge or look down on me too much.

Ray stands up and walks over to me. All I could do was wrap my arms around his neck tightly and close my eyes. When his arms closed around me, I could feel where my heart really wanted to be.