Undefined Love

Chapter 1O: Outburst

Ray'vn
( Monday, August 6 )

After we'd arrived home, I made dinner. Everyone ate and went their separate ways. Mom went to get ready for work, Chris went out, and Devon went in the living room to watch TV as usual.

Mom came downstairs ready to leave. She kissed Devon bye and said good night then said bye to me. "Bye Ray'vn." I gave her no response and continued washing the dishes.

I let out a sigh of relief when I heard her car pull off. Devon walks in, coming up behind me and rubbing me down.

"What's going on with you and your Mom?" "We started arguing today and it didn't end too good, so now we're not talking."

I set the last dish in the drainer. He picked me up and put me down on the counter, smiling.

"What?" "There's something about you that I love. I can't get enough of it."

"You sure it's not the sex?" He starts laughing. It wasn't supposed to be a joke, but somehow I found my self laughing with him.

"No. The sex is good trust me, but it's not just that. It's the person that you are, everything you have to offer. Everything your mother's not."

"So why are you marrying her?" "I love your mother I do but-" "But what?" He sighs. "But that's not the point. The point is is that I planned a trip for your Mom and I this weekend, but she's gonna be busy with work. You wanna join me instead?"

I was unsure on how to reply, unsure of if he was trying to be nice or playing games. "Devon, I think that'd be sweet, but I don't know if my Mom will go for it."

"I'll handle that; just give me an answer. Yes or no, it's up to you." He held around my waist securely, waiting for a reply.

"Yeah, I'll go. Um, it seems like it'll be fun." The smile on his face felt like it had lite up the whole room.

I never realized it, but he does have a nice smile, not to mention a pretty face and milk chocolate skin complexion and tattoos.

What am I saying?! I cannot be getting feelings for Devon! "Well um I have homework, so I'm going upstairs." He shakes his head pressing his lips together.

I start walking away. He calls aftere. "Hey, you think you gonna need any help," he asks smiling. If you're any good at Pre-Calculus then yeah."
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Ray

Only god knows how much I'm hurting right now. Ray'vn's making my life so complicated. I regret calling her out that way, but can you really blame me? I'm trying my best to help her but its like she enjoys being treated the way she is. 

What I can't understand is why you claim to love someone so much, but treat them like garbage. If she was with me, she'd have no worries. I'd be there for her no matter what just like I am now. I'd love her until my heart stops.

I'd...

It doesn't even make sense that I keep dreaming. I done lost my chance already.

 I sat around the kitchen table for dinner unable to eat, so I sat there playing in my food. I had too much on my mind to eat anything. "Ray, baby you okay?...Ray...Rayon!" 

I jumped losing my train of thought by the sound of my Mom yelling my name. "Yeah?" "Is everything okay son? You've been acting very strange." "Yeah Mom. I'm fine." I sigh heavily and move my plate farther in front of me. 

Mom looks at me knowing something was wrong. "Ray please tell me what's going on. You're scaring me." "It's Ray'vn...." "Ray'vn? What's wrong with Ray'vn?" "You remember her ex, Chris? Well, he beats her." 

Mom's eyes shot open.

"For the past two weeks she's been acting really funny. The bruises on her face and her arms are horrible. The marks on her wrist turned purple, her left cheek red, her eye isn't any better. She tries to hide it by wearing make-up or long clothes to cover it up, but Mom she can't fool me. I tried talking to her to figure out how I could help her, but I screwed that up."

"Ray, how come you never told me this? Does her Mom know about it?" "Psh, I doubt it. Her Mom doesn't give a damn about her. Even if she did know she wouldn't do anything anyways." Mom sighs. "What happened when you tried talking to her?" 

"We started arguing and I- I got mad that she was being stubburn, so I kinda called her a bitch." Mom's expression changes from sadness to anger. "Boy have you lost your damn mind?!" 

"I know for sure I raised you better than to direspect any girl like that! Would you disrespect me, your sister, or your aunt like that?! Hell no, so why do it to Ray'vn?!" I get up from the table storming toward the sink. 

"Ma you think I wanted to?! I hate myself for saying what I did knowing the situation she's going through! Mom... I LOVE RAY'VN! I'd give her the world if I had it. If Ray'vn were with me she wouldn't have worry about a thing. I really care about her and the more I try to make things better for her, she doesn't want to take my help!"

My lips start quivering as I feel tears running down my face. Mom got up slowly trying to hold me. I turned away from her. I still felt her arms close around me as I cried and she ran her hand through my hair.

"Mom she needs love, a place where she can feel safe, she needs help." It became hard for me to talk. Mom squeezes me tighter, my head resting on her chest telling me to calm down.

"Ray, I understand you want to help Ray'vn, but son this isn't your battle. It's hers. Ray'vn is like a daughter to me and I know how strong your feelings are for her, so however we can be there to help, I'm not afraid to take the risk." 

I smiled slightly. "Thanks Mom." "You're welcome son," she says kissing my forehead. "Now go upstairs and get ready for bed, you have school. Good night, I love you." "Love you too." 

I do as I was told. Before I go to sleep the one thing on my mind was a vision that turned into a peaceful dream of me and Ray'vn as ONE.
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It was a bit hard writing the scene with Ray and his Mom because it's not easy imagining Ray cry, but it was nice. Comments?