Undefined Love

Chapter 42: Air.

Ray'vn

My stuff was loaded into Chris' trunk.

He slammed it closed and looked at me. "You okay?" I rubbed my arms, looking around at the neighborhood.

"I don't wanna leave Chris." He sighed then hugged me.

"Ray'vn I know you don't." He pushed back and kissed my forehead. "But it's the only way I know you and your Mom will be safe. Ray's family too. I already messed things up with them and they're especially worse now. I'm just trying to get things right for you Ray'vn."

I couldn't say anything. I didn't know what to say.

I couldn't even look at Chris.

Being out here, seeing all this just didn't feel right for me.

"Ray'vn come on. Can you please not look like that? I wanna see a smile on your face. Pretend at least. Please," he begged. "Alright. Alright," I forced a smile. Can we just go get ice cream now?" "Yeah." Just before he turned to walk to the driver's side door, he looked to his left at Ray's house. I did too.

"What Chris? What's wrong?" "Come on," he said holding my hand and pulling me with him. I pulled my arm away. "I don't wanna go back there." He looked at me in disbelief. "Are you serious right now? Ray'vn please, please don't make me upset."

"How is that gonna make you upset?!"

He took a deep breath.

"Don't yell at me when I'm trying to help you." "Help me how? I don't see how going back there is gonna help me!" He scoffed.

"Do you even hear yourself?! Look, I understand that what happened earlier hurt you. Okay?! I was there and it hurts me way more because I'm the cause of all of this! But that doesn't mean you have to shut them out because you don't want your emotions effecting things. They at least deserve an apology for now being involved in the situation and not knowing the details. Not to mention for you to show that even if things aren't right you're still trying to be with them. You think they don't know things are hard for you right now?"

"Stop trying to act like you know everything! I'm trying to help you by not mentioning anything. I'm scared! All I could do is keep running from everything."

"That's the problem! Stop being so afraid and stubborn! Is hiding from Ray's family really making things better or is it hurting you just as much as it hurts them that they've been there for you longer than I have, you whole life, and can't be let in in one of the hardest times of your life?! Think about it Ray'vn."

"Shut up! Just shut up!"

"Why?! Because you're tired of hearing the truth?!" "I said shut up!" "Why? Give me one good reason why?!" I said nothing. "Exactly. Just remember this Ray'vn, me even being here wasn't entirely my fault. Your Mom agreed to have me stay here-"

"Don't put my Mom into this."

He raised his hands. "Alright. But know this... I've been tied into this lifestyle for years. I know what I'm doing and despite the fact that I was staying here and whatever happened between us happened, the main reason you're tied into this is because you're so stubborn. If you hadn't taken it upon yourself to look after me so much and followed me to the warehouse that night, you wouldn't be in this."

"I was scared for you!"

"It doesn't matter Ray'vn! I told you not to come for a reason!"