Undefined Love

Chapter 48: Answers?

Ray'vn

I sat on my bed staring at my door.

What did I do?

I'm a sad claim for someone who wants love.

Instead of getting ready for dinner, I laid in bed and buried my head in my pillow.

I don't know how much time had passed. There was a knock on my door. "Ray'vn," my Mom called. She opened the door dressed in one of the most beautiful gowns I've seen her wear since her wedding. She saw me laying there, my face dried up and messy from my tears as I continued crying. "Ray'vn baby," she said sitting on the bed next to me.

"What's wrong?"

She brushed my hair back out of my face. 

Then Devon stepped into my room wearing a vested tux.

I instantly burst into tears.

"He hates me. He hates me," I shrieked. "Oh my goodness," she gasped, pulling me into her chest even if I messed up her clothes. "Ray'vn baby, stop. Please calm down," she pleaded wiping my face with her free hand. "No! He hates me!"

"Ray'vn, what are you- who hates you?" "Chris," I yelled back at her. The look of concern on her face made my heart hurt even more. "He hates me!" "What? Ray'vn, baby, that can't be true. Why would Chris hate you?" I took a deep breath and sniffled badly. Then I looked at Devon and started shaking. "Nothing," I said looking at the floor. She looked at Devon. "Can you give us a minute?" "E-" "No Mom. It's fine. I'll be okay," I said wiping my face with my hand, then walked to my bathroom. I closed the door. She came knocking. "Ray'vn," she paused. "Are you sure you're alright? I'm worried about you."

My chest began hurting even worse than before. My tears pushed through hearing her say she's worried.

"Yes Mom," I choked up. "I'll be fine."

I heard her sigh on the other side of the door. "Okay. We're gonna be late for dinner but take your time, alright?" "Yeah."

I took a look in the mirror.

I can tell you that the person I saw, she wasn't the Ray'vn Chavannes Miller everyone knows and loves. There were no words to describe the person that was before me. I rinsed my face in the sink. I raised my head and one of the faces of the men from that day at the casino popped up. I screamed, tripping over my foot and fell backward.

I sat on the floor crying. 

When is hell gonna pass over?

[ 9:42 pm ]

I walked downstairs.

I saw everyone sitting around in the living room waiting for me. "I'm r-ready," I said reaching the bottom of the steps.

I rubbed my arms. I felt cold. I was shaking.

Mom walked over to me. "You okay now?" "A little bit," I practically whispered, not wanting to have eye contact with anyone. "Okay, are we ready to go," Devon asked. "Yes," Mom said. She kissed my forehead again then stepped away and took Devon's hand. Chris walked past me. "Chris," I said quietly, trying to take hold of his hand. He turned around.

"Why are you touching me? Don't talk to me," he snapped.

"I-" "I don't care. I already talked to you earlier. There's nothing else for me to say to you. Go find something else to do instead of continuing with this talking bullshit. It's not like it helps you in anyway."