Thirst; Paxton Hall

seventy

"How'd it go." Beto greeted me as i walked in.

Yeah. At this point i was kind of out of this world. So i was ignoring everything in my life, so if someone talked to me i heard them but didn't process it.

I went right to the bedroom and locked myself in there, and just stared.

"Mercedes!" Beto was knocking at the door but i ignored it.

After sitting there for what felt like a century i stopped heating Beto banging on the door. My body refused to process how fucked up i had been the night before and how i've gone this low to do drugs.

I stood up because i decided to take a bath, and maybe face Beto. I looked down at the door and saw a shadow coming through the bottom of the door.

I kneeled down quickly and saw Beto was sitting in front of the door. I felt tears coming out of me. All he has ever been is good to me even when he knows i'm in love with Paxton, he still loved me, and i've just played him.

"I'm coming Beto." I said quietly but loud enough for him to hear.

I heard him stand up and i unlocked the door. He opened it and pulled me into a hug with hesitation.

"Mercedes."

"Beto. I love you."

"I love you too, bu-"

"You don't deserve this." I said. He nodded.

"I was just going to say. I love you with my whole heart, but i seem to pull you back. I'd do anything to have you, but my heart can't take it anymore."

"Beto. I completely understand." I held his hand. I felt him tense up. Almost tears were coming out of his eyes. He loved me so much, i cant believe i let him get back with me. He deserves someone who will treat him just as well as he treated me.

"I love you so much Mercedes. Please understand that and take that with you. I'm not mad at you and i'm not upset. I'm just exhausted. You're the love of my life, you'll always be, but we're not soulmates. You and Paxton are." He sighed. "If you need to you can pack and stay a couple night i don't mind."

"It's okay. I'll pack and plan to leave tomorrow morning if that's okay."

"It's okay. All i ask is if you can sleep with me for one more night."

"Anything for you." Anything for Beto.
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*calling mom*

Mercedes
Mom i'm coming home. Beto and i decided it's better if we separate

Mom
Aw. Okay honey. Thank you for letting me know. You okay?

Mercedes
I'm okay.

Mom
Are you sure.

Mercedes
Mhm

Mom
Okay i love you

I had woken up Beto who helped me carry a box down. I only had clothes so that's all the boxes were. I didn't have much.

As i was laying everything into my car, i tried to get rid of the evidence of smoking. He may have saw though, but i doubt he was going to ask about it.

"Thank you for everything Beto."

"I hope everything turns out well Sadie."

"Same for you Beto."

I hopped into my car and watched Beto walk inside. I loved the man so much, but nothing could compare to Paxton, and it bothered me.

I drove past the school. School was in session, so all of the cars were lined up in the filled parking lot. It had looked like lunch was going on because there was kids outside.

Seeing it really made me miss it. But online has been such a mentally reliever to me, but ofc that didnt really work out so well either.

Once i got home i grabbed a box and walked into the door, while setting the box down next to the door way.

My mom wasn't at home. She must've been working today. When i walked in everything was the same. Just like how it when was i lived here. I carried my box upstairs and the air in my room felt very nice, and i missed it so much.

I looked out the window. No one was home are Devi's. Her and I haven't talked in a while. But i guess we were barely on good terms when i saw her last.

When i sat on the box processing everything i had realized that i actually don't have any friends anymore. I haven't talked to Devi, Fabiola, or Eleanor in months.
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After i got everything from my car. I grabbed my computer. It was my school stuff and an email from the school

Dear Mercedes Cortez,

We are here to mention that you are doing online school and you are signed up for online school as of right now. We are having some changes and would like to see if you have changed your mind or would like to change your mind. If you want to come back to school for your Junior year, there is a link below to fill out information. If not contact us telling us you're staying in online.

I ignored it. That was something i was going to deal with later. I just wanted to settle and relax for just a little bit. I've had so much going on and so much on my mind that i rather not talk about school.

I went to Netflix and watched what ever they suggested. I've watched everything at this point that i've started having Netflix randomly choose my shows.

*Ding*

Unknown Number
Please come back to school. We need you.

I starred at my phone with my heart racing a tad bit. I had no clue who was this but it scared me to think of social interaction. I was scared to even answer. How do i know it's just not someone fuxking with me.

But i texted them anyway.

Mercedes
Who is we?

With no answer for a solid 20 minutes i tried to stop thinking about it, but couldn't.

*ding*

but there it is

Unknown Number
Devi, Fabiola, and Eleanor. They need you.

Mercedes
Who is texting me then.

Unknown Number
Ben.

Oh. It's just Ben.

I didn't answer. But i did stare at the message seeing the girls names for the first time in forever.

I grabbed my computer

Looked at the email.

Then i clicked the link
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hi