Thirst; Paxton Hall

seventy-one

"you signed up for school?"

"I did."

"And you want to go."

"Sure you can say that."

My mom stood there with the blankest stare.

"Okay. I guess that's good." He grabbed a bottle of wine.

"Oh my gosh. Is it seriously going to be that bad?"

"What no." She then proceeds to grab her wine bottle opener and sticks it in the cork.

"It's going to be okay."

"Well." She poured the wine into a glass. "I'm more concerned on how you are going to cope with Paxton."

"Please." I rolled my eyes. "I'm not going back because of him. So why would i care."

"Seriously? I'm not stupid."

"Well i am."

"Okay youre point." She spoke with attitude. "Never mind thats not even the point. You're literally in love with him. You can't deny it. The way i've seen you and Paxton talk and act around each other. Is the way your dad and I act."

"Mom i don't what love is. I'm just going to see Devi, Fabiola, Eleanor and Ben. It has been forever. I need to see them and reunite."

"If you're okay with it. Then i guess i am. I just don't want you to get hurt again."

"I know." I smiled at her. "You can put the wine away now."

"Oh this? No i need this."

"Oh. Well. I'm going to go for a run." I told her and started to walk up the stairs then heard her laugh.

"You don't run."

"I do now."

"Why."

"I did with Beto. See how toned i am." I lifted my tee to show my mom how toned my stomach has gotten.

"Oh okay. Yup you go run."
.
.
.
I did run. Running helps me clear my mind. It's fun to me now. It puts me at ease and helped me think that i'm running away from my problems.

*ding*

"Oh my god. Who is texting me now." I mumbled to myself.

shitface mcgee 101 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼

Ofc him out of all people would be texting me while i'm on my care free jog.

shitface mcgee 101 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼
heard you're coming back to school now.

My mind went blank. I literally signed up not even 3 hours ago, and people already know. Especially him

Mercedes
yeah i'm not coming back for you Paxton. Leave me alone.

shitface mcgee 101 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼
will you let me talk. please.

I sighed while looking at his text. My heart wanted him to tell me what truly happened, but my mind was telling me to not worry about it, you're better the way you are.

But my mind always lies to me so why would i trust it now

Mercedes
Not today Paxton. Just not today.

shitface mcgee 101 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼
Well i just want to let you know. I'm not giving up on us. Zoey and i will never be a thing. My heart is to you. I never cheated on you. I never did and never thought about it. we were perfect Mercedes. everyone knew that. let's be perfect again.

yup i didn't answer. i didn't want to. I couldn't. My body froze and i refused to believe it.

I miss him though. so bad.

I missed his touch

his scent

his voice

his smile

his eyes.

his body.

his-

i miss him a lot, but i can't get hurt, i just can't.

I have to keep myself away from him this time.

Or i have to try to keep myself away from him.

But i doubt i will.
.
.
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School.

I start Wednesday. Today is Tuesday, so i refused to get out of bed because i knew i'd be exhausted from thinking. Which i was.

I looked outside after i heard a car shut off. It was Devi's mom. With Devi.

I found it weird that she wasn't at school. Her mom would never let her skip. Devi looked angry and upset, and her mom well, she looked even more angry.

I wanted to go over and say Hi. Maybe even talk catch up. I miss her. I miss having someone to talk to and someone to be by all the time. I ruined it though for a boy.

I slipped on my slides and walked over to her house. I stood at the door for about debating if this is a good idea but i did it anyway. I hit the doorbell then i waited.

I waited for like 5 minutes until someone actually decided to go to the door.

"My bad i-" Devi answered the door obviously distracted because she didn't realize that it was me. "Mercedes?" She looked stunned.

She looked like she has saw a ghost by the face she had made. "Um. I can go if i need to i-"

"Oh no. Um." She looked inside probably to see if her mom was doing something. Then quickly stepped outside. "Let's go to your house real quick before my mom goes psycho."

We walked over to my house in silence and went to my room. "Well how have you been?" i asked creating conversation.

"Okay i don't care about me. You disappeared for god knows how long, and now you're randomly showing up to school."

"Yeah. Pretty much."

"Why"

"Ben texted me. He said you guys need me."

She sighed. "We do.We feel broke without you. It's weird. We were fine before we met you and stuff but after you left and didn't have us, we don't feel the same anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"You had other things going on Mercedes. It's okay. What did you even do."

"Um. Well this is like a low point in my life. So basically. I got back with my first ever ex i actually loved before Paxton. Him and i were good until a party. Trent was there because Beto's best friend was Trent's brother. Trent brought Paxton. I got hammered. Beto went to get more drinks. I basically went home with Paxton. We only made out according to Paxton, but yeah. It went down hill."

"Damn."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"I just have always thought your life has been perfect. Just perfect." I sighed and looked at her in the eyes with almost tears, but i was able to contain my tears.

"Devi. My life was perfect, well felt perfect. Perfect when i was with Paxton."