Thirst; Paxton Hall

seventy-nine

I stared at Paxton and he looked NERVOUS. I grabbed the phone and got up quickly.

Aneesa: Hey Paxton. I just wanted to say i had a nice time tonight.

I kept the phone to my ear and pushed Paxton's hand who was on my shoulder off of me. He looked terrified and he should be.

Aneesa: Hello? Paxton? Are you there.

Mercedes: Hello, this is Mercedes. Paxton can't talk to you right now, because he is current going to get thrown out of a window. Have a good nice and i hope you choke in your sleep.

I ended the call. And squeezed the shit out of the phone in my hand. He was sitting there super terrified.

"Get out."

"Mercedes. We didn't do anything. I swear."

"Paxton. I said get out." I stood there just staring at him. My anger was on the edge and I couldn't take it anymore.

He came up to me and tried to hold my hands and hug me. "Mercedes- I'm."

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE." I pushed him and he fell to the ground. I threw his phone on him.

He looked shocked. I had tears coming out of my eyes and rolling down my face like Niagara Falls.

My door opened and my mom walked in shocked as well. I looked at her and she instantly ran to me. She must've heard me scream as i don't think ive screamed louder than that ever.

"Paxton. You're gonna need to leave." My mom said and helped him up. She walked him to the door and closed it on him.

My mom came running over to me as i fell to the ground. Twice. This has happened twice from him and i don't think i'm going to believe him. He broke my heart. He keeps breaking my heart too, and i was tired of it.

"I'll leave you alone sweet heart. I'm going to try to go to bed. Come get me if you need me." She went to the door and closed it gently.

My mind was going in circles and i felt like i was going to throw up. I fell to the ground and stared at the ceiling. I was so exhausted of these emotions and it was pissing me off.

I was filled with anger, sadness, frustration. I wanted to break everything in my room, but lord knows i will never clean it up. My phone was getting phone called and kept ringing. Probably from Paxton.

I didn't cried until i couldn't, and went to my bed and just shoved my face into my pillow. My body filled with regret. Beto always treated me like a sweetheart and i loved him but not enough to stay with him because i didn't deserve him.

My mind just felt like apologizing. I wasn't going to let myself take him back. But i felt like i would be at ease for apologizing. He loved me so much more than anything or anyone else in the world, and i took that for granted.

I grabbed my phone. My body was shaking and wasn't able to recover for whatever reason. I feel so bad for calling him. Always. But he deserves the world, and i need to let him know that.

I went to his name and clicked facetime. I was sitting on the screen with a bad angle and puffy eyes. I waited the words to say connecting. They did, and a dim light room came up.

"Mercedes." He said and got closer to the phone.

"Don't mind my appearance. I am feeling a lot of regret. No i'm not coming and running back to you because i have no one else. Do i have no one else? Yes, but that's not why. i-"

"Mercedes. You can talk to me whenever you need someone. You know that. I know that. I'm always here for you. You know i love you with my entire heart."

I started cry and bawling my eyes out. You couldn't really tell but i sniffed and it was wet.

"Are you crying?" He asked me.

"Yes, i mean no, but yes." I sighed. "This isn't about me. Kinda. I just wanted to apologize for how shit i have made you feel and how i have fucked with your feelings. You deserve someone who is just as amazing as you and I am just not that person. You don't want someone who is still inlove with their ex who said cheated on them, went back to them, and found out they hung out with another girl after they said they wanted you and got you back."

"Do i need to come over?"

I paused and bawled when more and kept breathing heavily. "No." I sniffed.

"Okay. I'm coming over."

"Okay."

He then ended the called and i rolled over and cried even more. Again. I don't deserve him. I can't see him go through pain that i'm causing. He is so amazing that he didn't care that i left him for Paxton, he didn't. He was ready, but yet he loves me so so much.
.
.
.

After i cried so much I accidentally fell asleep, and woke up in the middle of the night in someone else's arms. I freaked out but saw it was Beto. He was still awake.

"Hi."

He looked down at me and laughed. "You were sleeping before I got here."

"I'm sorry."

"You're okay."

"Beto. I don't deserve you."

"Stop saying that Sadie. It is my choice to stay around you. Not yours. If you ever need someone and have no one else that is what i am here for. Not because i feel like i have to. It's because i want to. Now explain to me what happened."

"Paxton and I got back together."

"Oh shit." He quickly hopped off of me and sat on the other side of the bed. "I don't want to be a homewrecker or anything."

"Well. Technically we aren't now." I sighed and curled up. "There's a new girl and her name is Aneesa. She's hot. Paxton's friend liked her and invited her over to Paxotn's house. Well they came early and walked in on us. Then she decided to say she had a crush on Paxton and i was just being used. I fought her. Kinda. That's not all because technically that doesn't matter, but Paxton always sticks up for her over me. But he came over last night and she called him said they had a nice time. I went crazy."

"Well you are crazy."

"Yeah. I know."

"I don't know what to tell you Mercedes. You honestly might be chasing him at the wrong times. Or she knew he was with you. If you think of it like that." I sat there and knew it was possible but i was so delusional.

"Yeah. You are definitely not wrong." I talked slow as i knew this could've been my fault.

"Anyone is going to want to be you. a you're perfect. Paxton probably did not cheat on you. He's too in love"