Don't Call Me Angel, Jerk [ Levi Ackerman ]

Chapter 54 - Final Goodbye

Levi continued reading every page in utter silence. The look on his eyes were exuding joy and longing at the same time. It's because the way she wrote on her diary was just like the way she speaks. It felt like she was actually talking to him, discussing all about her day

He continued flipping the pages, until he noticed that one of them were quite longer than the rest

Dear Diary,

I tried convincing Levi to play with me at the rooftops today, but he was too busy. I can't blame him though, it was my fault. Why did I want to spend time with him right before an important day? I mean, we still have the day after that. I dunno know why I kept trying to convince him like the world was already ending

We were just having a deep talk about ourselves, when suddenly he started tearing up. How dare he do that? He knows how much I hate to see him cry. Even more calling himself worthless. I don't know how someone as precious as him could call himself that way. If it was someone else calling him that, I would mangle their limbs. It angers me to see that idiot degrade himself

If only he could see me the way I saw him, I'm pretty sure he would've loved himself more. If he did, he would know that the 'worthless man' he describes himself to be is the man I only see my future with. I want to marry him and live under the same roof so I could remind him how beautiful and important he is to me everyday. Levi should know that by now. tsk tsk >:(

Actually, I think Levi was smart to think of opening a tea shop. I'm so so excited just by the thought of it. What should the name be? Hmm, I'm not sure yet. We'll just have to discuss it again after the expedition

My brother doesn't want me to join the front lines tomorrow, but I'm thinking of a plan to sneak in with a hood. If it does work, then I'll be able to fight with my friends instead of aiding people. I don't think it's fun though, because I'm actually scared

But I'll try my best not to. I have no reason to be scared because Levi will also be there. I promised him I'll always be there for Levi whenever he needs me, so he promised me that he'll always have my back too

As long as he's there, I will survive

Because he's that person I'd entrust my whole life with. The only person I'll love like there's no tomorrow.

Levi slowly flipped to the next page, hoping for more - empty

It finally shattered. The walls he hid inside in finally broke into pieces the moment a tear rolled off his cheek. It all followed into an inevitable stream of tears, wreaking him into a sobbing mess

"I'm sorry" His breath hitched repeatedly as he spoke, words almost unfathomable "..sorry"

Pride? It wouldn't matter even a single bit. The very last of it was holding him back from screaming it out. The pain was ripping his heart to shreds - it was excruciating. Every second of it

Vien broke her promise of staying alive, and he broke his promise of being there for her. But who was at fault won't matter - not anymore

Because it was over.

---

"Do you think he's okay?" Asked Armin, catching a glimpse of Levi

The cadets paused doing their chores, averting their gazes to the Captain on the corner. He was wiping the windows with a blank look on his visage. It quickly became quiet, but Levi didn't seem to notice their glances when he continued staring into space

"The Captain's been wiping the same window for hours now so I think not" Answered Jean lowly

Armin approached the Captain slowly, about to snap him out from his trance. But he was stopped midway as someone placed their hand on his shoulder - it was Hanji

She sighed heavily "Just leave Levi like that Armin. You don't know what's going on inside his head"

"But we're supposed to be heading to the cemetery by now" He spoke

They all got startled when Levi finally spoke, leaving the place he's sat on for hours. "We're leaving"

It was a week after their return from the Shiganshina expedition, and today was the memorial of every fallen soldier. But they left the base late because they had to wait for Levi to retrieve his senses

When they came at the crowded cemetery, all they could hear was the sobs and cries of grieving families. Nothing but the melancholic feeling filled their faces as they walked further into the rows of gravestones. All had their own woeful story, but only few had someone by their graves

They all parted their ways, visiting another deceased friend one by one. Levi walked alone, another comrade to another. All he could do was reminisce the memories those people left behind, he did it until he eventually arrived on hers

Hanji, and the cadets were already there before him. When he read the tombstone, it wrote Vien Smith

The three medics were the first ones to arrive - they're still there

"Let's go Aaron" Convinced Francis

After offering their roses on the grave, they left, and it was now the cadets who were paying their respects and their final goodbye

A loud sobbing Sasha and Connie knelt first. He dropped a white rose on the grave, then the girl placed a basket of potatoes on the grass. She started breaking down on the spot, that Connie had to pull her away

Next came Jean, teary eyed though he was silent as he went on his knees. The stem began to snap when he clenched it harshly, refusing to let it go as he held onto his pride. It was clearly paining him to stop his tears from falling

But the second time he laid his eyes on her face sketch beside it, he couldn't help it. There he bawled his eyes out, on fours on the ground with his forehead laying on her gravestone. Sobbing loudly, and mumbling a goodbye to Vien

After a few minutes, he got up and walked away to be in silence. Later came Armin, Mikasa, and Eren together. When they offered their flowers, she held Armin's head and became his shoulder to lean on as he quietly let his tears out. Eren stood behind them, clenching his fists as he looked at her frame with a heavy heart "I know my last words to you were telling you to go away, but please continue to watch over us, Dr. Vien" He closed his eyes

Hanji came next after them, and she knelt beside it. Smiling faintly at her best friend's picture. All she wanted was to cry, but she knew that all Vien would want was to see a genuine smile - so she showed it

"I promise that I'll continue all the incomplete researches for you. I'll miss you, my girl" She muttered

Hanji placed a rose in front of the frame, and wiped her tears before walking away. Now he was the only one left, standing face to face with her picture frame. It was a small, detailed, and colourless photo of the doctor and her smile

Upon getting to lay his eyes on her face again, a light smile appeared on his face. This is what he wanted - to see her pretty smile once more

Levi gently placed a daisy near her, and whispered to Vien a soft tone

"Wait for me, my angel"