addiction - hyunchan

twelve

(a/n: i just cried over a this man telling me good night for the first time in 4 months.)

...

"chan please, you said until i can't take it any more and i can't take it anymore!" hyunjin yelled, clutching his stomach while curled up in a ball on his bed. his whole world felt as if it were spinning and the pain through out his body felt absolutely unbearable.

it had been officially 9 hours since his last dosage meaning it was around 3 in the afternoon. in that long while, chan had cleaned out the boys disgusting sock drawer, separated all the different drugs, those being cocaine, heroin, marijuana, and various opiates. after separating, he hid the substances so hyunjin couldn't go behind his back and be taking more. that was expected of an addict, it was only instinct.

"chan please! it hurts so bad—just tell me where you put my fucking stuff!" he wanted to be strong and show chan who was in charge, but it's hard to do so when you are not. tears streamed down his face as he couldn't take it anymore, he wondered if this is what dying felt like, that was of course him being a bit dramatic but in his state he couldn't help but think of the worse. if only he knew this wasn't as bad as it would become.

chan saw that this was similar to the day he first attempted to talk to hyunjin, he seemed to be extremely emotional since he was so dependent on the drug that he couldn't take. the elder was only trying to help.

"c-chan i need it. i need it so bad i don't want to feel like this why more—help me!" he clutched his stomach harder than before and in result he had caused himself to throw up over the side of his bed. while he was coughing up and spitting out the liquids, chan was quick to grab a washcloth and water so hyunjin could clean his mouth up.

once he handed the addict a bottle of water and the rag he was in the process of heading for the cleaning supplies the fix the mess, but was held back by a weak grip on the bottom of his shirt. chan turned around to see what hyunjin was doing, that's when he was met with the weak males teary eyes. "please." he spoke quietly.

chan gave in, the younger was clearly in need of something to take his mind off the pain. "o-okay...i just- i don't know what to get you" he muttered. although he knew what drugs were, he wasn't the best at determining which pill was which or with powders was what. "is there anything i can give you besides heroin? something that might work?"

hyunjin knew the high coke gave you was similar to the one he'd get from smoking heroin but all his mind was screaming was 'take it. take the heroin. forget about you're problems. you'll feel good. getting better isn't worth it. you're going to die either way.' "chan i need it"

chan was stuck between two ropes trying to balance on them at the same time. on one side he could give in and give him the heroin or he could find an alternative so the male could continue his sobering up.

he needed a second opinion. so he texted the one person who he knew could help.

chan: i need your help, please come to your dorm

seungmin: i'm omw everything okay?

chan: i don't know

seungmin had arrived just as chan finished cleaning up the mess hyunjin had made. when the younger first walked in, his eyes were immediately drawn to the crying addict who was curled up in a ball on his bed. in all honesty it was an extremely painful sight.

"seungmin, thank you for coming i just— i don't know what to do...should i let him have the drug or should we get him something else, you know to like still get him high but keep him sobering up from heroin?" he was clearly stressed and seungmin immediately responded by first telling him to calm down a bit.

"give him hydrocodeine, it'll knock him out and give him a small high for about six hours." hydrocodeine is another form of opioid. to chan, seungmin sounded like a doctor...well the boy was in college for medical school so that would make sense. although he did ponder if that drug was safe to give hyunjin, but then again, seungmin would probably be the one to suggest the safest option.

"i-is that safe?" the elder asked.

"it's safer than heroin. it's usually taken after surgeries, for moderate to severe pain. right now it's the best option." chan nodded along to seungmin words and walked over to his bag that he was keeping hyunjins drugs in and pulled out a orange bottle with the words "hydrocodenine, seo yaswa" that must've been his dealers name or a relative of the dealer since chan sure as hell had never heard that name in his life.

he brought the bottle over to seungmin who opened it, got 3 out and handed them to hyunjin. unfortunately, hyunjin turned his head away, declining the offering of the pills. "i-i need-"

"hyunjin you need help, that's what the fuck you need. so take the goddamn pills and go to sleep. you'll be fine. the pain is temporary, but the effects of taking more heroin is worse. so suck it the fuck up."

chan watched in awe as he had never seen seungmin in such a state of annoyance. and hyunjin had responded by taking the pills and curling back into the ball on his bed.

"thank you" seungmin wished the addict before turning to the eldest. "i'll send you a script or my approval so you can go to the pharmacy and get him a detox later...sorry i yelled, i'm just not in a good mood today i hope you understand."

chan for sure could understand, he hadn't been in a good mood either since the day his saw hyunjin at the cafe. it seemed everything had been spiraling down into a pit of dispare since then. despite understanding himself and not being in the greatest mood either, he still had the human decency to ask the puppy featured boy what was wrong.

"it's jeongin, he's been really insistent about our sex life and stuff like that, but it's all to much for me. it's everyday and to him it's some sort of coping mechanism, but i'm afraid it's an addiction. he so sweet all the time so of course i don't mind helping him out, but when i told him i had to leave and come here, he started crying. it's obviously psychological, and i'm going to work on it with him...but it's just so stressful to worry about, hes been through a lot and i don't want to hurt him by saying no."

it's definitely not what chan was expecting, and although he had never been through that situation, he could somewhat understand. he had known jeongin for almost 8 months now and was well aware of his rough childhood, so he could see why the boy had became so dependent on seungmin. "he probably thinks it's his only way to stay close to you, like a way of making sure you won't leave him. so you just need to talk to him about it and i'm sure he'll understand. just remember, don't ever force yourself to do things just because he wants to. i know you love him, but you have to think about yourself and what's good for you first."

seungmin felt grateful that chan was an understanding person when it came to people he cared about. they had been good friends for almost a year now and chan has yet to let him down when it came to their friendship, although that doesn't mean seungmin wasnt disappointed in the elder with the way he'd treated or has been treating hyunjin, that was purely disrespectful on his behalf. aside from that, he now made his decision on how to approach jeongin with his concerns thanks to the ideas the eldest gave him. "thank you, chan."

"of course, now you go work things out with him while i keep an eye on this one" he chuckled softly while referring to hyunjin. seungmin then left the dorm leaving chan alone with an addict who was fast asleep. as much as he wanted to go out with friends and have a bit of fun, that wasn't an option at the moment. he needed to be there for hyunjin and that was that.

(a/n: next chap. will be seungin focused)