addiction - hyunchan

twenty-two

"hyun...w-what are you--"

"i don't know, i—i feel funny right now...b—but this feels right"

chan wasn't sure if hugging back was the right thing to do but he did in any way. he hugged the boy in a secure hold, something he had never thought he'd find himself doing. while chan stared at the couple in the door with just as much of a confused expression as them, he signaled them to walk in the dorm and take a seat while he handled whatever was going on.

once the two were past them, chan shut the door while hyunjin was still slumped on his body. "hyun, can we sit down, maybe talk about what's on your mind?" he whispered, hyunjin only replying with a head shake in denial.

"im trying to hate you chan, but i just can't do it anymore. you hurt me, but you've now become the only person in my life to ever care for me aside from felix...so i can't keep hating you, i just can't." he whispered only loud enough for chan to hear. hyunjin wanted to remember his worth and remember not to forgive and forget all the pain chan caused, but it was so hard to do when the past few days he's done nothing but help him. weather it was chan willingly helping him or if he was doing this because felix told him to was not a battle up for discussion. chan had proved himself worthy when he apologized and visibly began to show sorrow for his faults.

chan teared up at the scene within his arms. he wanted nothing more than to never let go. "are you okay though? can you tell me why you're crying?" although he wanted a moment in silence to enjoy the warm embrace, chan couldn't help but worry as to why he had been crying in the first place.

"i want the pain to be over" he mumbled, words still too quiet for the young couple in the room to hear.

"i know, we're getting there. it'll be over soon and then i won't have to be here anymore since i know you would rather i not be." at this point, chan had slowly walked them to the bed, now seating hyunjin down and taking a seat aside him. for hyunjin, he let chan set him where he wanted, in all honesty he wasn't paying attention to his movements but instead his mind was fixated on what chan had said. is chan leaving after he's better what he really wants? he didn't want to think about it at that moment, so he stayed quiet and closed his eyes to focus on the high.

"so," seungmin started. "clearly a lot has happened...mind filling us in?" he asked, jeongin agreeing with his words as well. he too was confused at the sight in front of them since the last he saw was the two constantly bickering.

chan took a deep breath, knowing hyunjin wouldn't do much to any of the speaking. "so the day i went out to get his detox, i got a call from him saying i needed to come back quickly. when i did, i found him shaking, crying with blood shot eyes as well as blood streaming down his face. he was in a state where his leg muscles were spasming to much and his body nearly went limp. so i drove him to the hospital to where he god blood work and body scans done. turns out it was simply high blood pressure due to withdrawal and if it happens again we just have to wade it out because the hospital can't do anything."

seungmin nodded, understanding the situation since he himself was a medical student. "well that's unfortunate, i truly do hope it doesn't happen again."

"yeah i can't imagine how scary that must have been for you" jeongin added with sincerity.

"yeah it's been hard, but we're getting there. he's slowly learning how to get around himself again but i can tell his legs are a bit weak, wether he denies it or not."

"hmm and what about the hospital bill?"

"felix took care of that" chan's voice hit softer implying he had something on his mind, it was most likely the lingering thought of felixs situation, wondering if he was okay with changbin and his brother at the moment.

"that was sweet of him, he must be a great friend." said jeongin, hyunjin nodding subconsciously while in deep thought to take his mind off the pain in his stomach. "well minnie and i are going back to the dorm because i have a class in 30 minutes, but hyunjin i hope things get better soon and—"

"chan" hyunjin mumbled, rapidly tapping on the elders leg.

chan got the signal immediately and put one arm under the boys arms and lifted him up while hyunjin had his hand cupped over his mouth. he rushed the boy to the bathroom where he immediately fell to his knees and began to throw up in the toilet. chan held back his hair, sliding the elastic tie off his fist and put the boys hair up. "you two should probably go back to your dorm, thanks for stopping by." chan yelled out of the bathroom.

the couple nodded and bid there goodbyes before exiting the dorm. both males giving one another a look, suprised at how well chan and hyunjins communication was. hyunjin was able to warn chan he was sick just by a certain tone in his voice. he probably came to learn from this situation happening multiple times before. it's honestly quite amazing.

the comforting hand on hyunjins back somewhat took his mind off the sharp pains that shot through every inch of his body when he would hurl each time. tears streamed down his face at the immense pain and severe uncomfortableness, but chan telling him it was a sign of progress and that it would only get better from here helped a lot.

...

"changbin" felix spoke up while laying in bed beside his boyfriend.

"yeah baby?" changbin turned to his side to face his lover, pulling him in close by the waist.

"i need to be honest with you because i love you, but while i stayed at the hospital i kissed hyunjin. i understand you may be mad, but i'm choosing not to keep it a secret from you because it's the responsible thing to do."

changbins face twisted with an expression felix could not identify, he slowly pushed himself away from the blond with furrowed eyebrows. "so you cheated on me?"

"i did, and i'm sorry. hyunjin apologized as well." the way felix had such a mature soul and took every situation he was put into with care and caution was truly astounding. to be so young and wise, able to do the right thing even if it were to cause him pain.

"well i can't say that i'm not mad, but i do forgive you. thank you for not keeping it a secret. but i can't promise even if your honest that if you do this again i'll forgive you."

"i understand, it won't happen again. sorry"

"it's alright, love"