addiction - hyunchan

seventeen

hyunjin was brought in the room, but has yet to wake up from the meds and anesthesia that seemed to knock him out pretty well.

the doctor did some deep explaining as to what hyunjin would most likely face in the future. such as long term withdrawal symptoms of heroin like depression, anxiety, insomnia, dependent tolerance, and of course the physical side effects being, weak bones, possible organ failure, brain damage etc. it was a lot to take in for felix and chan. especially felix. he had broken down as soon as hyunjin was rolled in on a stretcher and moved to the bed. seeing his frail, pale state was devastating to the blond.

although the young australian never saw him hugging chan so much in one day, he will admit he found comfort in his hold. "felix, he's going to be alright. i promise you" the elder hushed him, pulling the small boy close to his chest, allowing his blood stained shirt to soak up the tears.

"i-i know i just hate seeing him like this. i just can't imagine what you must've went through back at the dorm. i'm so sorry for making you take care of him alone...if—if only i would've been there to help we could've gotten him here fas—"

"felix, don't blame this on you. he would've went through these symptoms weather or not you were there. honestly i think it was better that you weren't there to see him. so stop being so hard on yourself. he's going to be alright." chan really meant every word he had said. if felix were there when hyunjin was in that dreadful state, he would've been traumatized, scared, and probably paralyzed in the moment from shock.

as for felix, he knew chan was right, he just wished hyunjin never had to go through this in the first place. that's all any friend would ask for. if only better choices were made 5 years back...hyunjin could have been smiling right now.

unfortunately this world was not capable of granting those improbable wishes. it was too late to turn back and now everyone was trapped in this painful reality.

...

felix had fallen asleep in the chair next to chan, who had yet to get a wink of sleep. he was exhausted and his eyes were begging for rest, tired from the tears. he kept eyes on the unconscious boy, thinking of the future circumstances and what would happen between them. once hyunjin was well again, would chan become a stranger? would hyunjin ask him to not associate with him any more?

deep down chan didn't want that, but he knew that's what he deserved.

catching the eldest out of his thoughts were a series of incoherent mumbles coming from the patient. as he was told to do earlier, he quickly stood up to inform a bypassing nurse.

the loud commotion of the nurse coming in and checking on hyunjin had awoken the sleeping blond, who immediately stood up out of pure anxiousness that something was wrong. chan noticed how worried he looked and quickly informed him that they were simply checking his blood pressure and changing his iv while the addict drowsily arose from slumber.

"okay" the nurse says turning to the australians. "he should be good for the night, we'll come in ever few hours to check his blood pressure and provide him with more medicine, but other than that he is set for the night. i assume one or both of you will be staying, just keep in mind if you are sleeping here that if you do wish to be in the same bed as him you must lay on the left side due to his iv and heart monitor wires being on his right side." the nurse informed before making way out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

felix didn't acknowledge that chan was attempting to speak, instead he attended beside the bed and held onto hyunjins left hand. "hey, hey, you're awake." he said with a sad smile, lifting hyunjins hand to plant a kiss upon it.

hyunjin turned his head to felix and with that small action he broke out into tears. there were no loud cries or chokes, it was just steady streams of tears falling from his eyes. "you came for me" he whispered. felix nodded excessively.

"of course i did, jinnie."

chan admired the friendship from afar, not wanting to interfere. he felt maybe it was better for felix just to stay the night after all. it's not like hyunjin wanted him there anyways. so, quietly he tried to slip out of the room while the two boys whispered to each other. but something stopped him.

"h-hey...are you leaving?" hyunjin spoke up, staring down the eldest as his hand was reaching for the exit.

chan turned to hyunjin and nodded softly with a weak smile. "yeah, i think it's better if felix stays with you tonight. i'm sure you'd rather it be him than me." and before hyunjin could say anything back, chan was already a ways down the hall.

he had to admit chans statement was right, but hyunjin felt unusually bad underneath it all to let him leave like that. then again he was grateful. chan had listened to the fact he had romantic feelings for his best friend...weather it were was or just a foggy emotion felt obligated to feel for the only person who ever cared for him, chan still left felix alone with hyunjin for partially that reason. hyunjin had to respect him for not only that...but for helping him.

chan did so much for him that morning. his mind ran through the scene a million times, replaying the one specific part where the elder cried and told hyunjin he was proud of him. the addict didn't know what or why he felt emotional because of that statement, but he did. and even if he was unable to identify that it was gratitude and happiness, he still understood that he liked it. no, he loved being told he was doing better.

it felt so good to know people cared.