addiction - hyunchan

fifty-two

"i just—i don't know" hyunjin complained, flopping onto felixs bed. "things aren't the same anymore between us. i think he's just falling out of love..." hyunjin admitted, singing as felix laid beside him, both males rolling onto their sides to look at each other.

felix reached out, moving the long strands of hyunjins hair away from his face. "i'm sorry, babe, i guess not all relationships are meant to be." he frowned, feeling upset for hyunjin.

"have you ever fallen out of love before?" hyunjin asked. felixs whole calm demeanor was washed away within seconds as he tensed up briefly, but soon he relaxed for there was nothing to worry for, hyunjin was his bestfriend.

"kinda. for a while i was still in love with changbin, but i had developed feelings for someone else too. but i had to let those other feelings die because i had changbin and you found chan."

"oh..." hyunjin took a moment to understand that it was him who felix had caught feelings for. he also wondered if this what chan was going through. maybe, maybe chan wasn't necessarily falling out of love, but simply getting caught in more love with jisung. hyunjin understood shit happens, but he was still afraid of chan leaving him.

the man had made him so infuriated from all attention he had ben showing jisung, completely ignoring the fact hyunjin had began using harder drugs again. "i just—i can't help but feel like i'm his second choice lately."

felix brushed the drifting strands of hyunjins hair away from his face while an iffy from displayed on his own. "maybe you two should take a short break, you know? it'll give you both some time to figure out what you want." he suggested.

maybe, maybe that wasn't a horrible idea. but on the contrary, hyunjin had already known what he wanted. he wanted chan and his relationship to go back to how it was before rehab. late night drives to watch the sunset paint the night skies as they kissed beneath it, blaring musician the background going in one ear and right out the other for only the words they whispered between mattered, and the heat of their bodies pressed oh so close together while they made love under the stars. he wanted it all back.

he wanted chan to wake up each morning with him and him alone, kiss his lips and tell him good morning. he wanted the attention of his boyfriend all on him, spoiling him in love just as he always had. he missed the laughs they shared when smoking a blunt in privacy, and he missed the deep talks about their future together they wished for...but it all was slowly fading away.

"maybe, i'm far too stressed to do in now though...i'll wait it out for the next few days and see how things go now that jisung moved out. maybe i'm just overthinking anyway." hyunjin said with a sigh. this conversation was making his eyes water and that for sure was not what he wanted to do for the short time he was getting to visit with his best friend. "now enough boy talk, we should catch up while they help jisung unpack"

...

"how did unpacking go?" hyunjin asked as he and his boyfriend had just pulled out of the lee residence and we're on their way back home.

"pretty good actually. i think jisungs happy he has his own room now" chan chuckled. "how's felix?"

"good, i think we're gonna go clubbing tomorrow night with jeongin. he reached out while we we talking about it and i said why not invite him." hyunjin smiled to himself, he was happy he was finally making plans with people. ever since he got out of rehab his days had been boring repeats of getting high and sleeping it off at home. so he thought maybe a little interactions with an old friend would be good for him.

"oh wow, how's he doing? i haven't talked to him in a hot minute." said chan.

"i'm not sure, we don't talk much but he said he wanted a boys night out with some friends so yeah, i guess i'll see"

chan hummed and silence fell throughout the car, though it was a comfortable silence. hyunjin was excited for tomorrow, he was hoping a night out with friends would give chan some time to breathe and have a night alone in the house. maybe give him time to think on what he wanted himself.

as for can, he sat in silence with the same thoughts. he knew sooner or later he needed to come clean to hyunjin with how he was feeling. how he felt he terrible guilt know while he was committed to him that he had caught alight feelings for another. he knew tomorrow would give him time to think it out, how he would show hyunjin he only wanted to be with him and only hope that his boyfriend would understand that even though the feelings were felt for jisung that he still only wanted him and was willing to space himself from jisung to hopefully loose those feelings.

he knew it wasn't right, jisung even had a boyfriend of his own. that's why chan wanted to forget about the feelings before they grew stronger. he loved hyunjins with his souls and his heart and was honestly willing to give up anything for the boy. that's why he had chosen to tell jisung his goodbyes today. it was for the best and for the sake of the relationship he'd put so much towards.

(a/n: kinda short chap. imma be updating here everyday again btw since this story is almost coming to its end. don't fret, more angst otw bc i can't help it😁🤞🏽)