Ghost-Writer// Victoria De Angelis // English

18| END-zone

"I'm sorry." I managed to mumble, embarrassed that I had gotten his new turtle neck all wet. He pulled away and got me the cup of tea which was now ready. "You can tell me. You trust me right?" He asked. "Of course I do." I nodded. I blew my nose and started again. Why was I so emotional?

"Well.... the dare was for Victoria. She was supposed to make-out with whoever the bottle landed on.... which was me." I explained. Ethan did what he did best: nod. "We... made out. And it was amazing. I felt... incredible. But then she pulled away. And I felt like my whole world just crumbled." I paused.

Ethan waited for more. I had to let it out. I had to say it. I needed to. "Fuck Ethan, I think I love her." My voice cracked in realization.

He made an 'oh' expression as he tried to process what I had just said. If I really loved her I wouldn't have pushed her away like that, so idiotic. "I know. It's awful. I'm gonna ruin the whole band. And the things I said to her-..."

"Wait, wait what did you say?" Ethan asked. I could barely tell him. "I told her to stop making everything about her and to...fuck off. She was trying to help. I'm such an idiot." I shook my head. I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"You are not an idiot Rianna Hargreaves." He seriously said. "You guys are all best friends and perfectly bonded and I'm going around absolutely ruining everything. I'm a fucking. Idiot." I rambled.

"Don't you dare talk about my best friend like that." Ethan tightened his grip on my shoulder. I realized he was talking about me. I bit my bottom lip gently to stop another outburst of tears.  "Thank you. For everything." I looked into his dark eyes.

I drank the tea. I felt bad that Ethan had to actually coach me through this now. "So, you love Victoria. That's not a bad thing." Ethan tried to figure out the situation. "But it is. If I'm going to be part of this band I can't ignore my huge thing for her." I explained.

"Then don't." He said blankly.

"It's not that simple. I'm sharing a bed with her. I'm traveling the world with her. She's everywhere, if it goes badly I'm fucked." I tried to get my point across.

"Wow your breath STINKS. Sorry." Ethan broke his seriousness. I laughed. "Yeah I kind of vomited out my insides." I shrugged. The look of concern on his face topped everything else.

"It's getting late I think we should sleep on it." He concluded, seeing my clearly exhausted face. I couldn't even fathom the thought of going to sleep next to Victoria. "Why don't you sleep here for the night?" He patted my back.

It felt strange to be sleeping next to my best friend in a bed where he had just (nearly?) had sex. Ethan switched off the lamp, emploding darkness across the room.

But now I didn't feel lonely. His arms wrapped around me, making me feel visible. Useful. Safe. Loved.

-------------------time skip --------------
The light peaked through the thin hotel curtains. I forgot where I was for a minute. Then I felt dark hair tickling my face. Ethan's hair. I blew it out of view and stretched. My eyes were sore from crying. "Morning." He raspily yawned. 'Morning' was all I needed to hear. It brought me back to the start.

A/n: (the first line of the book in case you forgot^^)

It made me feel like I could work through this.

"Morning." I sat up. "What time is it?" He groaned. I checked his phone.

11:34pm
Victoria:
Is Rianna ok? Is she sleeping in your room?
11:52pm
Victoria:
I'm being serious Ethan I'm worried. She didn't seem good.
12:03am
Victoria:
I just want to know if she's safe. Answer my texts!!!