Ghost-Writer// Victoria De Angelis // English

34| I can't be in love her.

A/n: really sorry that this one day is stretched out in multiple chapters but it just is ok?

"What do you mean 'oh no'?" I sat up. Maybe I should've listened to Ethan. God, I was such a stupid person when I was relaxed. My stomach churned.

Thomas handed me the phone.

'Me':
Sorry I'm late, I was hanging out with Thomas and E.

Victoria:
Rianna we're both two idiots. Stupid fucking dummy's. And I think you took my words the wrong way. I got freaked out when you called me your girlfriend because idk

Idk? IDK? YOU CAN'T WRITE A PARAGRAPH AND THEN idk?!

"You two are so weird." Thomas shook his head. I thought something was genuinely wrong because of Thomas's reaction. And I guess there was technically.

Me:
What do you mean idk? I literally told you I loved you.

It said she was typing. Those three little typing dots could never be a longer waiting period.

Victoria's POV:
I typed out messages and then backspaced them. How was I supposed to tell Rianna how I felt? It was too confusing. No words could describe it. I liked her, of course, but I just wasn't sure if I was ready for a relationship. But we also hooked up and I've kissed her multiple times. That's not a best friend thing now is it?

The way she made me feel was unlike anything else. Whenever I was around her I rehearsed what to say in my head. My stomach would tighten. I was star struck. But I can't be in love her. That's not possible right?

It's not love. It's just feelings. It's just dumb feelings that are running everything. I'd rather be a robot. Never hurt by words. Never distressed about things. Just emotionless.

I had to text her back though, I couldn't leave her hanging. I began typing again. Every letter more painful than the last.

Rianna's POV:

"What is taking her so long?!" I grabbed my hair in stress. "It's a pretty big thing. Give her time." Ethan nodded. Once again, he was right. Painfully right.

Finally, she texted. I honestly preferred over the phone. I didn't have to look her in her sickening eyes and make my knees foolishly weak.

Vic🎸:
I'm confused. I just don't know what we are or what's going on between us. One minute we're fighting and the next we're kissing. So I guess what I'm asking is, what do you want us to be?

What do I want us to be? I want us to hold hands and get matching necklaces and have cute inside jokes. I want us to be a couple. I want Victoria to look at me at least half the way I look at her.

Me:
I want us to be together.

As soon as I typed those words I panicked. Did I do the right thing? Did I fuck it up? Should we be friends? No, I couldn't handle us being friends.

"This is nerve-racking stuff." I sighed shakily. It felt like my whole future depended on this text conversation. "I've never seen you this crazy over someone. It's worth it ok?" Ethan looked at me. I mouthed 'thank you' at him, on the verge of anxious tears.

Victoria:
I've been denying it for so long because I didn't think it was true but, Rianna I love you. Not in a friend way but in a way where every morning I want to see your face as the first thing when I wake up. I want to spend every minute with you. I guess your poetic words have caught on with me 👀. But yeah, I love you. I'm not being stupid this time.

Every single word of that message mended everything that was broken.
She had it hidden in her the same way I had. Not only did she feel the same but she had felt the same this whole time. A tear spilled from my joyful eyes. "Who do I need to beat up? Why are you crying?" Ethan rushes over to me.

"She loves me, E. Victoria loves me." I couldn't believe anything I was saying. But it was the wonderful truth. Thomas and Ethan squeezed me in celebration. "Best day ever." I squeezed them back.
-----------------------
The next day...

The morning outside grew pretty wet. It began raining quite heavily, but we didn't mind.
We spent the most of it chatting and gossiping. I couldn't get Victoria out of my mind, her gentle smile. The smile that now smiled for me, only me.

"Hey? Lover girl?" Ethan snapped me out of my gay thoughts. "Hmm?" I hummed. "Get the door would you, I can't take my hand off or it will ruin it." Ethan referred to him doing Thomas's eyeliner.

I hopped up and got the door. I saw Damiano standing, soaking wet from the rain. "Oh, Rianna...ciao." He seemed surprised to see me. His dark hair was hanging over his face, dripping. "Come in." I gestured and shut the door after him.

"Who is it?" Thomas asked since both his eyes were closed patiently. Damiano chuckled at the focus on Ethan's face. "Dami?!" Thomas opened his eyes suddenly to see if he was right. The eyeliner smudged, making me laugh at the sight. They both instantly kissed.

"Where have you been?!" Thomas pulled from their kiss. I threw Ethan a pack of makeup wipes. "Doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm here now ok?" Damiano said mysteriously. Ethan struggled to wipe away the product from Thomas's eye. The more he tried, the more it smudged.

Damiano and I tried to hold back our giggles but a few escaped. Damiano whispered to me that he looked like a panda so I laughed out loud at the accuracy. "Why are you all wet Dami? Take off your coat." Ethan said, not turning his focus from Thomas's poor stained face. Damiano hung up his coat.

"We have nearly the whole band here." Damiano observed, sitting beside me. "What's the news with Vic eh?" He asked me.

I smiled instantly. "Better I assume?" He noticed my grin. "Yes, Great." I agreed. "And the writing? Anymore masterpieces?" He wiggled a single eyebrow. "Maybe." I shrugged, teasing.

Giorgia:
I have a studio session booked two weeks from now, if you guys have anything finished by then, you can record there.

What songs did we have ready?

We've recorded 'lost' and 'closer'. I haven't showed anyone but Vic the song that o like to call 'the on about the friend'. And I don't think anyone but Damiano and Victoria know about 'tattooed'. I swear I wrote more than that though...right?

A/n: short chapter but I didn't stretch it out just because I know the same day was in 3 chapters. Let me know your thoughts and don't forget to vote!!!