Ghost-Writer// Victoria De Angelis // English

33| What's wrong

A/n: I just watched a Romeo and Juliet play from the local drama club so sorry if the language is a bit fancy I'm still in 1800s mode

Thomas's POV:
Even though we were just on Ethan's apartment floor, painting our nails, it felt like a safe space. Like I could run my mouth about everything I despised in the world and instead of being called ungrateful I would get comforted.

It's weird to think at first I was mad about Rianna joining, and now she's like my safe person. Now, of course Damiano is also my safe person but he's also my boyfriend whom I do certain things with. If I told him what was going on, it would just make that sort of activity awkward.

But I guess it's too late. I already stopped him today, he says it's ok but deep down I feel as though it's not. I feel like he feels that I don't want to do it with him anymore. Which is the most untrue fact I could think of, all I want is Damiano. But I just can't.

It's like my body connected certain parts with certain memories and now I can't function the same way. I'm not the same. And it sucks. I just wish I could be normal.

Rianna looked at me, causing me to look around I see what was wrong. I realized, in all my thoughtful distraction I had spilled nail polish on my pinky and the brush was still dripping.

I giggled embarrassingly and wiped it with the towel.

Rianna's POV:

"Thomas are you sure you're ok?" I could help but look at him funnily. He definitely wasn't. "I'm-...not really." He shrugged, playing it off with a soft laugh. Ethan encouraged him to share. We were a therapy circle at this point.

"I feel like I'm letting Damiano down. Like, a lot." Thomas bit the inside of his cheek. "Ai! Cobra! Don't say that about yourself!" Ethan gasped in disbelief. "Why not, it's true?" Thomas looked switched to the other hand to paint.

Ethan didn't really understand the full story. But no way was I going to share it, that's not my story to tell. "Damiano left the restaurant so suddenly..." Thomas began to crack his voice but then coughed in a manly way to cover it up.

"That was because of Giorgia no?" I questioned. "And you two were fine here before the lunch no? You were...watching a movie?" Ethan asked. Thomas just seemed unsure about everything. A bit like me.

Not sure where it started, where it ended if it even had ended and where it was now. Just that we were both a bit lost in the plot. Floating through pages of the same chapter, merely skimming the same sentences, all in the same book.

"I'm just kind of..." Thomas shrugged, I could see beady tears form in his eyes. "Lost?" I looked at him. He stared at me like I had described it perfectly. He nodded. I felt so sorry for him. For us.

"Since were getting things off our chest.." Ethan began. Please don't tell me Ethan is lost too. He's the only person I can turn to.

"I feel...like I'm not worthy of all this. The fame." He said softly. My heart, if it was possible, shattered even more. "What do you mean?" I was taken aback. He was always so confident and sure of himself.

"I was the last pick. The drummer who 'sucked'." Ethan sounded like he had this build up for a while. "Both if you, listen the fuck up." I clapped, closing the bottle of nail polish. They looked at me with confusion.

I remembered a lyric I wrote around the start of this whole thing. Something that applied to this situation perfectly.

"Look, this sounds so poetic and sappy but it needs to be said: The broken pieces of us mend to make somewhat of a whole.  Sentences in chapters of stories begging to be told." I recited. They both stared at me in 'second language confusedness'.

"What I'm trying to say is that if we are here for eachother, then at least we have that connection." I dumbed it down. Ethan began giggling. "You're right that is sappy." He agreed. I rolled my eyes. Thomas seemed to actually resonate with me. Thank god I got the message across to someone.

"We're all in this together." Ethan sang. I inhaled in annoyance but soon sang with him and Thomas. We went back to chatting deeply and painting our nails again.

It felt like that phrase: a problem shared is a problem halved. Every confession I made, the lighter my mind got. I could tell this was the same for the guys too. By the end of this very long nail-painting session, we were all laughing too much to function.

"I'm thirsty." I whined, looking at my nails as if it was going to make them dry any faster. Ethan got up and went to the fridge because on of his hangs wasn't painted yet. He brought back a child-sized juice box making me snigger.

He held it delicately and stabbed a straw into it, putting it towards my face. "I feel like a princess." I wiggles my eyes brows. I missed the straw a few times embarrassingly, making us all laugh. Then I finally got a sip. We all cheered.
--------------------

After 15 minutes my nails were finally dry soo picked up my phone. Oh damn.

Damiano, 2:31pm:
Is Thomas ok? He's not answering my texts.

Victoria, 2:35pm:
So do you want to talk about it? We don't have to do it in person

Victoria, 3:17pm:
You there?

"Shit." I said out loud. Thomas and Ethan looked at me to see what the cause was. "Victoria wants to talk about it..over text. What do I even say?" I panicked. "I've trained for this moment we shall begin!" Thomas jumped up onto the couch, peeping over my shoulder.

"Ok let's start with 'Sorry I'm late, was hanging out with Thomas and E." It's like he knew who I was exactly.

"Here! You do it I'm too scared!" I handed my phone to him. "Rianna you can't just do that! It's Victoria!" Ethan warned me. "Relax it'll be fine! Stop worrying about everything!" I insisted.

Some advice I should take myself. I need to stop overthinking every second of my life and just live in the moment-

"Oh no..." Thomas made a queried face. My eyes widened. Oh no?

A/n: so Rianna, E and Cobra get closer and open up! I think Rianna got a bit toooooo relaxed in the last bit... I mean getting Thomas to text your girlfriend FOR YOU? Really?