Ghost-Writer// Victoria De Angelis // English

38| Lividi

Thomas started off the story. I could hear the crying in his voice but he held it back so well. He even explained in English so I could understand, how sweet.

"When I left Vic's apartment I...I decided that I wanted to keep Damiano more than anything in the world and to do that I had to come out to my parents. So, I payed them a visit as I was walking home. As you can see it didn't go so well." Thomas mumbled. All of us were on the edge of our seats listening.

"They told me that I was just saying it to be 'cool'. And I couldn't be attracted to guys since I've dated girls...which makes no sense." Thomas but his bottom lip to stop him crying. I couldn't even imagine going through that. "You can cry, we won't judge you." I insisted, knowing how hard it must be to not cry.

"I'm just sick of it. I never thought people I was close to could be homophobic." He began to spill a few tears. Victoria put her arm around his shoulder and gave him a tissue. Brushed up for being himself? What kind of world do we live in? And his own parents?

Ethan said exactly what I was thinking but added a few things in Italian. "At least I have you guys. Like Rianna said the other day." Thomas referred. Victoria raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you weren't there." I explained. "You hang out with it me? I'm offended!" She scoffed sarcastically.

"Ti amo, Thomas." I said seriously, looking him in his heart eyes. "Ti amo, Thomas!" Victoria squeezed him. "Ti amo Thomas,Thomas,Thomas Raggi." Ethan said, making Thomas somehow crack a grin because of the 'rap' that started like that. (A/n: sorry if you haven't seen that MÅ vid 😭)

"Is there anything we can do to cheer you up?" I asked, leaning back. "No, I just need to rest." Thomas insisted. "You sure?" Victoria looked at him. "Well...."
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"What?! Why me?" I scoffed. Thomas wanted someone to explain everything to Damiano. Somehow Victoria and Ethan told me I was the one for it. "Because you're-..." Victoria searched for the right word. "Corny." Ethan finished, earning him a quick slap from me. "No, Poetic." Victoria rolled her eyes at him. Thomas giggled at this, making me light up.

"Fine, Fine!" I gave in, picking up my phone. I opened Damiano's messages. I sat, staring at the keyboard, not sure what to write. How do I explain this in a text message. "Can you explain....everything everything?" Thomas asked me, I was surprised he was ready to share that with Damiano.

"I can't do it with you all staring!" I snapped at Victoria and Ethan who were peaking over my shoulder. The backed off and chatted to Thomas as I tried to think of where to start.

Me:
Hi Damiano. I get that you're mad at Thomas but this is really important. He asked me to share his story with you so you can understand him better. Back when Natasha was still with us, Thomas came out to her and she said some awful things back to him. Then she sexually assaulted him, which he hasn't told you because he didn't want you to treat him differently. After the argument last night he came out to his parents. It did not go well at all, they hit him. I'm not asking you to immediately make up with Thomas but at least consider what he's going through.

Before I sent it I asked Thomas if it was ok enough to send. He agreed and I sent it then put down my phone and anxiously awaited a reply. Did I type too much? 

"No! It's 'put a rock in it'." Ethan bickered. "Rianna, you're the fluent English one, is it 'put a rock in it' or 'put a sock in it'?" Victoria asked me, trying to prove a point. I began laughing out loud. "'Put a rock in it?' Really E?!" I sniggered. "So I am right ha!" Victoria teased Ethan.

"Teach me an English phrase!" Thomas urged me. "Hmmm.." I thought. What English phrases do I know?

"Do you want to learn an Irish dialect one?" I asked. He shrugged, agreeing. "'Ah, sure you know yourself'" I said slowly. Tomas was baffled.

"Ah." I urged him to repeat after me
"Ah." He said, along with the joe interesting Vic and Ethan.
"Sure." I said.
"Sure." Everyone said.
"You know." I broke it down
"You know."
"Yourself."
"Yourself."

"Ahsureyouknowyourself." I said at the regular speed. "It's like one word!" Ethan gasped. "You just have to say it fast." I encouraged. "Ah, sure y'know yourself." Thomas said. I clapped for him. "What does it mean?" Victoria asked. "It's kind of like 'you know how it goes' or 'you already know'" I struggled to explain because you can literally use it any way.

I got distracted by a notification from Damiano.

Damiano:
I'll try talking to him later.

I punched the air in success. "Actually, I have English study in 20 minutes so I better get going." Ethan checked his watch. "Nerd!" I teased. He got up and waved goodbye to us as he left.

"You should probably get some rest too Thomas." I remembered. "Text us if you need anything. Arrivederci!" Victoria kissed his forehead and we left too. I'm glad he had a smile painted on his face rather than a frown.
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Victoria and I got back to her apartment and she made dinner for us. After dinner, I got an idea to write so I sat on the living room couch and started to make it a reality. Victoria called her sister as I did this.

At around 11pm I finished the whole song.

Intro/?
Nose is bleeding
with my feelings
all my bruises
slowly healing
recovery is
bittersweet
cus I'm a human
and I'm me

V1/?
When I show off my-battle scars
You'll be the en-emy
When I heal my-broken heart
You won't be- there to see

The songs I'm singing
What I'm writing
All this work I-put in
It's not for you to
Think I'm hanging on
I'm well-over it

Fake it till I make it
Hope the lies will help me fly
Instead it's
break it till it's broken
Fake it till it's all fake
I know that this is all my fault
But man I still need a break

I'm not perfect
Yeah I get that
not the king of the world
But what I
need you to understand
Is that I'm just a girl

I've got human bones
And emotions
They break just the same
So don't bother me
Unless that is
You are playing my game

Bridge
Forgive forget move on with life
Easier than it sounds When you've got
Tears to cry

It was a format I had never written in before, It didn't even have a chorus. But I weirdly liked it.

A/n: predictions? Edgar is spilling his bean next chapter 👀. Also if you have any questions (personal or about the book) don't be shy and ask them, I'm bored!