And We're All Falling

Only Better

"Della, babe, breathe slow down and say that again."

        After revealing to North that yes, there were some things wrong, Della almost immediately blurted out the first twelve things that had been bugging her in a fit of mumbles and sobs. North, trying not to panic, stopped what he was doing, coaxed her to sit up and sat in front of her.

"Everything's falling apart, North!" she cried.

"What's falling apart?"

"My work! Breeding season's in a few weeks and my pairings that I thought were good aren't producing like they should and Lylla's mad from all the complaint calls she's getting and the barn manager's asking me so many questions and I said I don't get stressed but I lied and--"

North shut her up by quickly, but gently, kissing her.

"What?" she asked softly, surprised.

"You weren't breathing," he explained. "I don't want you hyperventilating or whatever."

Theta snuggled into Della's lap.

"Alright. What else sprung this sudden freak-out moment? I know work and Wash aren't the only things," he asked, taking one of her hands. "What's the story here?"

She took a deep, shaky breath.

"I don't know if I can tell you the entire thing," she started. "But I can tell you some."

He gave her a coaxing look.

"All my life, people have said 'Della you're so smart' or 'Della you're so good at whatever'. Not that I have a problem with being praised. But it was the manipulation; people coercing me into 'helping them' which usually ended in me doing the entire assignment. Or they'd swear that we were friends, but we never spoke outside of school. So I always thought 'If I was just a little better, then they would like me'. 'If I was just a little prettier, a little smarter, a little nicer, then they would like me'. But it didn't work, time and time again. I kept pushing and pushing until now. I'm out of school and everyone's moved on...except for me. I'm stuck in this endless loop of trying to be everyone's definition of perfection and I'm learning the hard way that I can't. And, to be honest, I can't figure out how to deal with that. So I bit it back and bit it back until Wash and work came along. Work was work and so be it. But Wash...he made me think that I was exactly like those people who manipulated and decieved me. I'm not like them...right?"

North's face went from concern to pure, utter shock.

"I know...it's a lot...and I'm sorry."

        Poor, once-strong Della. He thought she was a completely confident geneticist and now...she had been shattered. He wanted to shove everything that tormented her (Wash included....Wash especially) out of her way. She didn't deserve it.

"Don't be sorry, please," he soothed, moving onto the couch beside her. "That was a lot to tell me."

"It's not everything," she hiccuped, curling into his side as he wrapped his arms around her. "I can keep going if you wanna know the full story."

"You're kind of...upset right now. I think you should just rest, okay? You can tell me the rest later...after you're a bit calmer," he said softly, rocking back and forth slowly.

"Okay," she mumbled, sleepily clutching at his t-shirt. "Thanks North...for listening."

"I'm proud of you. You told me what was wrong."

"I'm not seven, North."

"Who's the one half-asleep and cuddling me like a teddy bear?"

"I can't help that."

"No, I guess you can't. But that's okay. I don't mind."

At least North never lied.

___________________________________________________________________________________

(Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Red VS Blue, they are owned by the lovely people at RoosterTeeth :))