And We're All Falling

Let Her Go

"It's not your fault."

"Ha. Not my fault? Not my fault? I could've been there quicker. I could've tried something else."

"What happened, happened. It's over now."

"No, it's not. Della's hurt and it's my fault!"

North sighed deeply and watched as CT furiously tried to wipe away any signs of tears.

"She's not physically hurt though," he said softly. "That's good."

"North!" she whined. "You aren't helping."

She flopped back onto the bed she'd been moping around in when North found her. Her hair was messy and she'd changed into a sweatshirt and sweatpants.

"No, stop laying around," North chided, pulling her back into his lap. "You are fine."

"Shut up. You would think that," she growled, pushing away from him.

"What did I do?" he sputtered.

She didn't reply. He crossed his arms and narrowed his gaze.

"This isn't about Della, is it?"

CT bit the inside of her cheek and kept her gaze trained on the floor.

"Something happened to you," he continued. "Someone, or, something, was ripped from you. And now that it's happened to Della, you're getting floods of memories from it."

"No!" she protested, backing up slightly. "You-you don't get to accuse me of such things!"

"That's why you cut your hair like that, isn't it?"

"North, stop!"

"Lambda probably meant something to you and whoever left you here. But now that they're dead, you use it to represent everything that dies within your care. Or, even those that you have to kill. Whoops, sorry, that was a bit harsh. Everything you have to put down."

"North, please, stop talking about this!"

"God forbid anyone mourn this person. Everyone moved on but you, didn't they? They left you in the dust, or rather, the graveyard."

"Nathan, why—"

"Poor Charlotte locked away her feelings where no one would see because, well, her family was against feelings and showing them to the public. Save face, huh? So she left, rebelled and is now a lonely, scared girl. But god forbid she tell anyone about her circumstance. Any objections, CT? Am I wrong?!"

North stopped pacing and snapped his angry gaze to CT. The stern look immediately softened. Tears were streaming down her face, a flood of emotions that the rest of her blank expression didn't reveal. He opened and closed his mouth, a fish out of water trying to get back to being Good Ol'North. He needed the right apology.

"CT...I'm—"

"Save your breath. I know you meant it," she sobbed, shoving her way past him to the bathroom.

He followed her just as quickly but was met with a slammed door. He tried the handle but she'd clicked the lock.

"CT!" he called. "C'mon, let me in. I'm sorry!"

All he got in reply were faint sobs. Sighing, he pressed his back against the door and slid to the hardwood. He really hadn't meant to go off like that.

Earlier that day, Josie, the child who had cancer, was rushed into ICU. North and the other pediatric nurses tried the best they could, but Josie didn't make it. Her parents were devastated when North gave them the news. The entire situation stressed him out; he didn't like making people upset in general. Telling someone that their kid was dead...that pretty much killed him. And now, he'd finished yelling at CT for no reason.

I just want her to be happy. She doesn't need things to weigh her down like they weigh me down.

Little did North know that on the other side of the door, CT was wishing the same.

But not for her.

"Charlotte. Can you open the door now?" he tried.

North waited for a reply. He could hear her breathing behind the door. Closing his eyes briefly, he pressed his back harder into the wooden door.

On the other side, CT was doing the same. She stopped her crying for the most part. Barely held by two fingers, a faded photo smiled up at her. Two girls, one older with long, curly brown hair and one younger with the half-shaven, half-chin length hairstyle that CT currently had, smiled and were posed together. Taking a deep breath, she pushed it along the dark wood of the floor until it went under the door. North spotted it and picked it up gingerly.

"You used to have long hair?" he asked, immediately picking her out of the two.

She looked different in the picture with her hair, but he knew those eyes anywhere. The other girl's eyes were too hazel colored to be CT. But, if it wasn't CT, then who was it?

"Who's the other girl?" he asked, frowning.

"Her name was Brooklynn," CT replied softly.

"Where is she now?" he asked, noting the was instead of is.

"Six feet under with a gravestone on top."

North winced.

"I'm sorry."

There wasn't a reply.

"How, uh, how'd it happen?" he tried, wanting to keep her talking.

"Car crash. She'd only just started driving when I graduated from college and she wanted to drive to my party to surprise me. It rained pretty bad that day. Hydroplaned off of a cliff and crashed into a tree. Her skull had basically been crushed," she explained, absentmindedly digging her nails into her arm.

"Oh, wow, I'm so—"

"Sorry? Why? My parents never gave me any sympathy for more than two minutes so why are you?"

North closed his mouth. The sound of her trying to fight back more tears and sobs filled his ears. He turned so he was facing the door.

"Hey, just unlock the door and sit on the edge of the bathtub okay?" he asked, forehead resting on the door.

"I-I'm fine," she assured, voice shaky."

"It's okay, CT. I won't yell at you anymore," he said softly.

He heard the click of the lock.

He waited until he heard her move.

Then, he went in.

She was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, biting back tears with a red face and overflowing eyes. Little dots of blood decorated her forearm where her nails had been.

North didn't say a word. Instead, he took a washcloth and got it wet. Carefully, he wiped away her tears (not to mention, the running makeup) with it. Then he moved to her arm, wiping away the red carefully before rummaging through his cabinets for the bandaids. Once he found them, he placed a large one over the five accidental cuts. She skimmed her thumb of the bandage in silence when he finished.

"There we go, that's better," he said, sitting in front of her. "Feel better?"

"A little," she replied, voice quiet.

He watched her continue to mess with the bandage until she noticed his gaze.

"I-I didn't mean to cause it to bleed, I just wasn't thinking and—"

He grabbed her hands.

"It's okay. Just let her go."

They sat against the tile and let silence fill them.

The cold never bothered them anyway.

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(Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Red VS Blue, they are owned by the lovely people at RoosterTeeth:))