Chris and Co. Oneshots

Strength - Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of torture, Angst, PTSD

You were sat alone in the common area, you'd found a spot on the floor by the large window. Wrapped up in a blanket looking up at the dark sky above. One of the things you loved about the compound was that because it was far enough away from the city, you could see so many stars.

The only time you saw brighter stars than this was when you were on a mission in the middle of nowhere. You screwed up your eyes when you realise the path your mind was taking you. Back to the last mission you went on, the one that was only supposed to take a day tops, but you ended up staying nearly a whole month.

"Right, this is simple, get in, get the hostages, get out" Steve said as everyone looking at the schematic in the middle.

"What about data collection, they could have valuable stuff here" Nat asks rubbing her chin in thought.

"Good point, okay Nat you find their control room, Sam you're our eyes in the sky let us know what's happening take out any escapees, me and buck will be drawing fire outside. As we do so, (Y/N) will sneak in get to the hostages and get them out" Steve says updating everyone on the plan.

"Sounds good. (Y/N) since you'll be going in alone, call for backup if needed. Nat that means drop whatever you're doing and get there, these hostages are more important than data" Steve adds looking over at Nat.

Once everything was settled you all started grabbing everything you needed. You were just strapping a gun to your side when Steve appeared beside you. He smiles down at you as you pass him his helmet.

"Thanks doll, you okay with the plan?" He asks as he slides his helmet on.

"Yeah, it'll be fine, it's only a few hostages" you confirm smiling up at him.

"Good, stay safe out there" he smiles leaning down to press a swift kiss to your lips.

"You too, don't go playing the hero" you say with a small smirk.

"What's our job title again?" He asks with a playful smirk.

"Stop being a smartass" you laugh shoving him playfully.

"Alright I promise" Steve smile grabbing your hands and pulling you into a hug.

The mission was going well, the boys had drawn enough fire outside so you could sneak in. You had intel that told you exactly where the hostages were. So, when you got to the room to find it completely empty you knew something was wrong. Looking around there was no evidence of anyone ever being here. You were about to call it in when a shock rang through your body. You fell to the floor shaking as the electricity ran through you. You just managed to roll onto your back when you were greeted by two large men. They shock you again before restraining you. As they drag you out of the room you hear Tony, who was back at base, in your ear.

"Guys, it's a trap, I ran intel on the hostages, all of them have been dead for years" he warns.

But it was too late for you, before you could scream for help they destroyed your comms throwing you into the back of a truck.

What followed was the worse month of your life. They tortured you in every means possible. Demanding information on the Avengers and Captain America. The repeatedly beat you, starved you, barely gave you any water. While you slept they'd wake you up so you became more and more exhausted and broken.

The team finally rescued you after a month. You practically collapsed in Steve's arms. You didn't dare let go of him as he carried you back to the jet. Even when the medic wanted to check your injuries you didn't let go of him.

When they tried to get you to move away from him so they could fully assess you, you completely broke down. In the end they had to sedate you, your body was moments from giving up if they didn't.

You spent a week in the infirmary under different levels of sedation while your body recovered. Once strong enough to leave, you spent all your time with Steve. It was 2 weeks post rescue that the nightmares started.

You relived everything they did to you, the words spoken to you to break you rattled round you mind constantly. After the first couple nights you started to pull away from Steve. Spending more nights in your room, your bed, instead of his.

Taking a deep and shaky breath you open your eyes. Looking around you spot Steve stood only a few feet away from you.

"Hey what you doing up?" He asks quietly as he walks over to you.

"Couldn't sleep" you tell him as he sits down opposite you.

"You could have come to me" he says nudging your foot slightly.

"I didn't want to disturb you" you say shaking your head slightly, looking down to avoid his gaze.

"I wouldn't have minded doll, I've really enjoyed sharing a bed with you" he says with a small smile.

You just nod slightly before looking back out of the window with a sigh.

"It's the nightmares again isn't it?" Steve asks after a few moments of silence.

"No" you lie, refusing to look over at him.

"You suck at lying" Steve says making you scoff.

"That's rich coming from you! Mr Captain America the most virtuous man on the planet. Who can't lie to save his life!" You snap looking back over at him.

"So what if I'm having nightmares! I bet everyone on this team does! I know you do! So you know damn well it's just part of the job" you could feel your emotions bubbling up to the surface.

You bite your lip turning your head away trying to hold back the tears.

"You done?" Steve asks making you glance over at him.

"Look, nightmares and all that are a side effect of the job but pushing ourselves away isn't going to make it easier" Steve starts putting his hand on your knee.

"I know you've been struggling ever since you came back, you've been sleeping in your own room more than you did before the mission, relying on coffee more so than usual. I should have broached you about it sooner, but I thought you'd come to me when you were ready, so I'm sorry" Steve sighs.

You look back over at him tears threatening to fall. He looked back at you in a calm and soothing manner. His thumb gently rubbing your knee.

"I don't know what I'm doing here" you admit with a sniffle, Steve looked over at you questioningly.

"Like you guys are all superheroes, I'm just some random agent, I don't have powers, I've not got the skills like Nat or Clint. I'm so weak compared to you guys, no wonder they were able to take me so easily" you explain shaking your head tears falling.

"Hey no doll you are not weak at all" Steve says shuffling so he was beside you pulling you into his embrace.

"God doll you are so strong, mentally and physically. You've survived something many wouldn't, you're easily one of the smartest on the team you always know what is going on in an enemy's brain. Without you the team would have fallen apart years ago" Steve tells you as he rubs your back soothingly.

"Then how did they manage to get me in the first place" you point out.

"Okay so they caught you by surprise, it's happen to the best of us. We've all be caught out and had to be saved by someone else, you've saved me more times than I can count. I'm just sorry we didn't save you quick enough" he sighs.

"They can't hurt you anymore, you're safe now, whatever they told you is a lie. Doing and saying whatever they could to break you. These nightmares will pass, I can promise you that. But they'll only do that if you let others help you" he continues kissing the top of your head.

You look up at him, your eyes meeting his. His hand moves to cup your cheek wiping away your tears.

"So let me help you, please" he asks, his hand not moving from your cheek.

"Okay" you say your voice barely above a whisper.

Steve smiles down at you gently before kissing your forehead and pulling you into his arms again.