Chris and Co. Oneshots

Ghost of Christmas Past - Jake Jensen x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, angst!, mention of character death, grief, tiny bit of fluff

You'd always loved Christmas, you were one of the ones that started celebrating as soon as possible. But for the first time in your life you weren't looking forward to it at all.

Your friends and family did the best they could to cheer you up and get you in the spirit but nothing worked. You knew it wouldn't, and deep down they did too, because this was the first Christmas since Jake's death.

You couldn't bring yourself to enjoy anything because all you could think was how Jake should be there. The two of you were best friends, you'd known each other for years. he'd always been there and now he wasn't and there was no changing that fact.

"Dear could you sort through this box for me?" You mom asked putting a box down in front of you.

"What is it?" You ask sitting up from your slouched position on the couch.

"Just stuff from the last Christmas party, do you mind making sure its all fine and nothings broken?" She asks pushing the box closer.

"Yeah sure" you sigh opening up the box to start going through it.

You sort through the box pulling out stuff that was broken or near the end of its life. You were half way through the box when you found something that made you freeze and a lump grow in your throat. Reaching in you gingerly pull out some candy cane sunglasses and a green feather boa that had little baubles on it.

Tears form in your eyes as you remember the last time you saw them. At the last Christmas party being worn by Jake as he loudly sang 'all I want for Christmas'. You hold them tightly to your chest as the memory replays in your mind vividly. You couldn't bare to see anyone else wear them so you took them.

Standing up from the couch you grabbed your coat and pulled on your boots, leaving the house ignoring your mom shouting after you. You walked a path that had become far too common for you. Pausing only when you reached the gates to the cemetery, taking a deep breath before stepping inside.

You reach the gravestone that had his name permanently etched in. You bent down to brush away any debris and make sure it was clean. You then placed the feather boa around the gravestone and the sunglasses on top. Subconsciously humming 'All I want for Christmas' as you did so. Letting out a deep sigh once you were done.

"If you were here right now you'd tell me to stop being a scrooge and just enjoy Christmas" you sniffle wiping away your tears.

"But fuck is it hard when you're not here, because all I can think is how you should be here. I miss you so much but it's not the missing you that hurts the most, its all the things I regret" you sigh dropping your head shaking it before taking a deep and shaky breath.

"I regret not spending more time with you when you weren't away. I regret having to cancel that lunch we were supposed to go before you left. I regret not being honest with myself and with you. I regret that I didn't realise how much I loved you before you were cruelly taken away from me" you continue having to stop because it got too hard, tears streaming down your face.

"Because fuck do I love you, so, so much and I wish I got a chance to tell you because even if it wouldn't change anything at least you would know" you finish trying and failing to wipe away your tears.

"So if you're scrooge does that make me the ghost of Christmas past, present or future?" You heard a familiar voice say behind you.

You turn around so quickly you almost fell over. You looked over in horror as you saw the one person you wanted to see the most in the whole world. But he couldn't be here, you had been told he was dead, killed in action. You'd cried over him, grieved him, you were stood at his goddamn grave! Yet there he was grinning at you as if this was perfectly normal.

You stumble back as you try to wrap your head around what you were seeing. This couldn't be real this was just some weird hallucination. You were fast asleep on the couch at home, this was just a cruel trick your subconscious was playing on you. You turn and start walking away, stumbling as you went.

"Whoa Y/N wait hold up!" Jake shouts following after you.

You ignore him covering your ears as you walked even faster away from this nightmare. He continued to shout for you but you continued to ignore him tears streaming down you face as it got harder and harder.

"Y/N Stop! Let me explain" Jake shouts as he grabs your arm stopping you and turning you around.

Seeing his face again every emotion you felt bubbled up inside you leaving you feeling incredibly angry. So much so that you didn't hesitate to land a punch to his jaw sending him stumbling backwards clutching his jaw in shock.

"No! You don't get to explain! How dare you do this to me! You put me through hell thinking I had lost my best friend in the worse way imaginable and you just show up out of the blue?! What the fuck! What the fuck is wrong with you!" You scream at him tears cascading down your face.

"Has this just been one big joke to you?! Put everyone through hell and then turn up crack a couple jokes and then everything is okay? How messed up are you!" You continue running your hands through your hair turning in circles unable to look at him.

"Can you stop shouting at me so I can tell you that I love you too?" Jake interrupts making you turn back to face him.

"Don't do that" you whisper shaking your head.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, I had no choice" Jake says taking a couple hesitant steps towards you holding his hands up in a calming gesture.

"I don't believe you" you mutter shaking your head.

"It's true, we were supposed to be on this helicopter but we didn't get on, this maniac called Max put a hit out on us and shot down the helicopter, so we threw our dog tags in so everyone thought we were dead when we were really in hiding" Jake explains taking a couple more steps closer.

"I didn't want to do it, I didn't want to put you through this, I hated that I couldn't reach out to you, tell you that I was okay, fuck it killed me because I love you too, so, so much" He continues tears forming in his eyes as he looked down shamefully.

"It really hurt, you really hurt me" you tell him quietly.

"I'm sorry, and if you'll let me I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it right" Jake apologises closing the gap enough to put his hands on your shoulders.

You take a shuddering breath as you look up at him, his bright blue eyes staring back at you. You could see how much he was sorry but also how much he was hurting too. You broke down falling into his arm gripping onto him tightly so he could never leave you again. Jake instantly wrapped his arms around you tightly kissing the top of your head.

The two of you just stood there holding each other crying as you held each other. Eventually you pulled away enough that you could look up at him. He gave you a tearful smile as he gently moved your hair from your face before cupping your cheek. His thumb ran over your cheek wiping away the tears that stained your cheeks.

"I missed you so much" he whispered shaking his head gently.

"I missed you too" you sniffled looking back up at him.

Jake smiled gently before leaning down and connecting his lips with yours. The kiss started out hesitantly but soon grew more desperate as every bottled up feeling spilled over. You gripped his top tightly as he wrapped his arms around you, hand moving up into your hair. You only broke away when you had to breathe, the both of you panting as he rested his forehead against yours.

"That was extremely overdue" you mutter.

"I'll make it worth the wait I promise" Jake promises.

"I love you" he muttered smiling gently.

"I love you too" you murmur as he leans down and presses his lips to yours once more.