Through The Triplet's Eye: A Gravity Falls Fanfiction

Irrational Treasure

I was sitting in between the twins in Stan's car, bored out of my mind. 

"Ha-ha! Nacho earrings. I'm hilarious!" Mabel exclaims, attaching nacho chips from her chips bag to her ear while laughing. 'Yup, somehow gravity does not exist in this town. I guess there's a reason as to why this town is called Gravity Falls.'

"That's debatable. Aw, come on, what's with all this traffic? And why is it all...covered wagons? Oh no! No! No!" Stan shrieked, slamming his foot on the gas pedal to accelerate away from the incoming cavalcade of wagons. His car makes a sharp turn and veers right, its tires screeching noisily in protest.  Stan forges ahead, only noticing several women in front of him at the eleventh hour, stopping his car just under the wire before anything undesirable could happen.

He swiftly backs away and began to drive backwards, leading Dipper to question his aberrant behaviour. "Grunkle Stan, what's going on?" 

"We gotta get outta here. Before it's too late!" Stan shouts but it was too late, his car screeching to a halt after wagons began encircling his car. "They've circled the wagons! We're trapped! Nooooooooo!" 

"I've gotta good feeling about today," Mabel smiles in her typically sanguine mood, placing her hand on Stan's window after she sees a cow standing beside it.

I facepalm, muttering silently to myself. "Of course you do." Mabel looks at me and after a second, we both giggle, prompting Dipper to glance at us weirdly before he joined in the fun as well.

'Cue the mellifluous theme song'

Stan glances at us through his car's rear-view mirror, shaking his head silently. "Kids nowadays." 

Stan kills the engine of the car and we all alight, soaking up the festive ambience while we walk around the now old-fashioned main street.

"Man. Look at the town," Dipper commented in awe, lowering the postcard he was holding and perceiving his surroundings in brown, the colour that was usually associated with anything that happened in the 19th or 20th century or pretty much any time that antedated ours because of the two men walking across him and carrying a pane of dirty glass. "Dirty glass. We got dirty glass! Dirty glass." 'Who would even want dirty glass? Would you spend your hard-earned money on dirty glass? I don't think so.'

Stan stands beside us, putting his hand on his hips as he explains the town's annual and customary festival to us. "Ah, boy. It's Pioneer Day. Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded." 

Coming out of nowhere, Toby Determined, dressed up like a newsboy, offers Stan a quire of newspaper. "Welcome to 1863!" 

Stan rolls his sleeves down, waving his fist at him balefully. "I will break you, little man!" The news reporter scurries away from us, colliding into a barrel in his attempt to escape. 

We look around, talking about the sundry of activities the townsfolk were doing, Mabel exclaiming in delight when she saw some of them candle dipping.

"Surely that can't hold a candle to gold panning?" I jest, pointing to the people who were gold panning, laughing at my apparently execrable pun.

The twins didn't laugh at my joke, both of them staring back at me blankly. 

I continue laughing, but this, more silently and nervously. "Get it? Because they're candle dipping?"

Mabel flashes me a pitiful look and pats me on my shoulder. "Magnus, I think you should stick to what you do best." 

Dipper folds his arms across his chest. "Have you been reading Grunkle Stan's 1001 Yuk 'Em Ups joke book again?"