Canon | (Harry Styles AU)

[thirty six]

Have you heard Zayn's new "single"? I actually quite like it. BUT I don't like him lying and being shady about it though. Whatever the actual truth about him leaving is I hope we find out soon.What are everyone's thoughts on the "Zayn thing"?

"I wasn't listening I swear," Louis says, frozen in his place in front of the door,"I just came up to tell you that Annette would be late.."

"How long have you been standing there," I question Louis. If he had heard everything he may not understand and take it the wrong way. He was Annette's best friend and of course he'd tell her all he heard, only his misinterpreted version.

"Long enough to know that I shouldn't repeat anything," He surprises me by saying.

"I'm just going to go," Zayn says quickly leaving, practically running down the stairs.

Louis steps a little closer into my room, eyeing the pictures in my hands before looking away.

"Before you say anything just know it's for a contest," I tell him, putting the pictures together so that they're all hidden in the folder,"I don't like her anymore..that's all done and over with."

"Good, because Annette really likes you," Louis nods, sounding more serious,"Don't do something to make her regret that."

"I wouldn't.." I begin to say.

"I don't need to hear anything about your relationship. I'm not getting into it,"He stops me before turning and leaving. I lean forward and just slam the door sighing.

I instantly had that feeling when nothing's really wrong but it still sort of is. I didn't really know where I stood with all of this and I didn't want to think about it right now.It was annoying overall, and I didn't want to be bothered around anyone like this. I wheel myself to my unmade bed and slide on, the smell of Zayn's hair gel and weed fill my nostrils making me feel out of place in my own room.

I lay, listening to the sounds outside, wishing that I could just start today all over again. But as the noise and commotion on the street grow louder, the sound of laughter and joyful screams giving me this odd depressing feeling I realize that the block party is already in full swing meaning it was already a little past six pm. I'd been just lying here for almost an hour feeling sad and bothered by nothing. Well almost nothing.

I get out of the bed and sit in my wheel chair, staring around at my pictures, remembering each and every day and how I felt before wheeling myself toward my desk. With nothing better to do, I start to organize my desk, putting my folders back in order, making sure to put the folder of Jo's pictures at the very bottom. I toss Zayn's dirty shirts to the floor in a pile, his hair products and brushes into a corner when I stumble upon a folder piece of paper. I instantly recognize it as the paper Zayn had said was from Jo.

Seeing her had already affected me more than I wanted to feel so reading this wasn't going to make a difference.

I unfold the paper slowly, careful not to tear it.

-harry
though i know that the apology in my last letter was not worthy of a moment of your time, i still had to write it. you never came to the place that I asked you to come after reading it so that must mean you either didn't read my letter or you just don't want anything to do with me. i understand that..it hurt me but I still understand.just hope that maybe you'll realize by now that this is nothing personal. you were such a sweet caring and helpful person. i didn't need that. im hopeless. you see im not broken, why lie? you tried to fix and save me when i was perfectly fine with being the way i was.there was nothing for you to fix.no one forced me to treat you the way i did, no one forced me to make up lies about you. i did it for attention i suppose, but mostly for your attention. i knew you'd never leave me alone if you thought that you could help me. I could see you falling for me..it was obvious. i just wanted you to know that im not a person for you harry. all those things you're thinking -I am all those things. I'll confirm it to you, I'm a terrible attention seeking bitch. and I like it. I can't be changed. so please don't waste anymore of your time on me..