Canon | (Harry Styles AU)

[twenty six]

[sort of a filler. this chapter is what gets the ball rolling between harry and another lady. don't worry everything to do with Jo and all those questions will be answered, just go with the flow. (:]

Two hours. That's how long it took me to really get myself lost.

I hopped on a bus and rode it for half an hour before getting off to take a piss at gas station. From there I walked on in a random direction, taking half *ss pictures of anything that caught my interest.

I was surrounded by unfamiliar streets, and people. Despite typically feeling ill will towards being out and about it felt amazing to actually be outside, under the sun rather then getting hints of it through the thick curtains in my living room every so often when I was too lazy to shut them properly. I'm surprised I even remembered that there was a world outside my house.

I took about two small turns, changing directions before randomly deciding to choose one sidewalk, to follow to the very end. I wanted to see where it take me. It was something I use to think about doing a lot as a kid when I'd trail behind my mother on the sidewalks since we didn't have a car. I could never convince my mother to allow it since she was always pretty tired since she spent all day on her feet.

I guess now is as good as anytime to see how it goes.

An hour later there I was, my feet beginning to slightly ache with each step, my neck turning sore from the weight of my camera and drops of sweat threatening to roll down onto my forehead.

I was never one for outdoors, but I didn't want to stop. I kept on the same sidewalk until it stopped, turning to crushed rocks and dirt that led up a huge stair case on the side of a small hill.

I let out an involuntary grunt with each step that made my thighs burn. Once I passed the stairs I stood atop the hill that continued on into what looked like a forest, large trees shading the entire space ahead of me.

I swiped my hand across my forehead wiping the sweat on my jeans before continuing..I wanted to get lost today right?

Getting lost seemed like a pretty good idea this morning, but the more I continue, feeling tired and thirsty, I find my thoughts wandering right back to things I hadn't thought about for two weeks.

I don't look where I'm stepping for a second, and I lose my balance, tripping on a small hole my foot stepped into.

F*ck I just wasn't cut out for this type of stuff...just like I wasn't cut out at being normal. I didn't know how to be a "friend", I'm a terrible f*cking son, I just proved that once again this morning..lashing out at my mom after she said she was buying me a car.

I just keep walking further into the forest, my thoughts getting louder and louder in my head.

What else did I expect to do while lost? Thinking is the only thing to do when there's nothing familiar to distract you. I don't know why I expected to find any answers while lost.

I catch a glimpse of a tree that has several birds perched on the branches..the sun hitting at a beautiful angle. I raise my camera to snap a shot before letting it drop agains my chest. I wasn't feeling it. I wasn't feeling any of it. It felt so forced to try and capture the scenes beauty's it didn't feel second nature to me.

It's crazy how fast we can change..hell we don't even notice the changes while they're being made. Then when you've realized you've turned into someone you don't even want to be you, you try and change..go back. But then you see you don't even know where to start or how to change back.

I continue trudging myself across the dirt, passing under tree by tree my thirsty now at an unbearable point. What a stupid f*cking idea to come out here without water.