Canon | (Harry Styles AU)

[forty nine]

[Songs i listening to when writing this chapter: Strings & Stitches - Shawn Mendes ]

"So..you're home early," I start of by saying, having a seat on my mom's made bed,"How was it?"

"Harry-don't," She warns, arms crossed in front of her.

"What? I'm just asking," I play dumb and say.

"Harry," She snaps and I throw my hands up in defeat.

"Okay, okay. So let's just jump straight into it then..tell me whatever it is you need to.."I begin to say.

"What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't." I truthfully say.

I wait to hear her yell at me..something but she stays silent before taking a deep breath.

"I really don't know what to say to you Harry. I'm not upset at the fact that you were more likely then not, about to have sex with that girl.."

"Anne, come on," I groan. It was bad enough she caught us, did she have to acknowledge it? Why couldn't she play clueless.

"You come on Harry. You think I don't know what teenage boys want to do?" She questions, with a comment even worse,"Who do you think fills that desk drawer with condoms every month?"

"I actually haven't noticed how many condoms are in my drawer because newsflash mom, I don't have that much sex!" I truthfully say, feeling more awkward by the minute. I was really being more defensive than anything. I didn't want to hear that I was wrong because that's exactly what my mind was already screaming inside my head.

"Well I wouldn't know would I.. since you seem to love to hide things from me," She fires back.

"Oh I'm sorry Anne, I didn't get the memo of having to let my mom know each and every time I'm about to bust one.."

"Enough!" She shouts and I shut up knowing she's actually really angry with me now. Sh*t.

"I am sick and tired of your disrespect. I have tolerated more than enough from you and I am done with it. I have done my best in trying to raise you right but it's clear to me that I haven't done a well enough job as a parent at all," My mom says red in the face.

"Yea, glad you figured that one out," I tell her, knowing it was out of line, but I didn't care,"You're never home so I don't really get where you think you can say that you've done your best in raising me."

She looks at me, shocked, and shakes her head in disbelief.

"I don't know how, or when you turned out like this. How you turned out like..like.."

"Like my father? Maybe you should send me to live with him so you don't have to worry about parenting me at all,"I finish for her, standing from the bed. I had heard enough, and I wasn't in the mood to argue. Or dig myself into a deeper hole.

"Wait a minute,"My mom says, grabbing ahold my arm before I can leave.

"You know that's not what I was going to say," She offers, sounding much more calm now.

"I know," I sigh. She looks at me with a sad expression, pulling me into a hug.

"I'm..I'm sorry okay? I know I'm wrong," I apologize, tightening my grip on her,"I don't know what I was thinking these past few.."

I stop mid sentence, realizing I had just confessed to being a cheating d*ck on more than one occasion.

"Harry," She scolds, pulling away from the hug to really look at me.

"I knew this would happen.." She says with a sigh.

"Nice..glad to know how high your expectations for me are," I tease.

"That's not what I mean bub," She smiles sadly, pulling me to sit next to her on the bed.

"What I mean is that..I know how big your heart is..I know how understanding and forgiving you can be," She begins, holding my hand tight,"You have this way of-of seeing the good in people. Even the smallest amount of it. It's a beautiful trait but it can also be a curse. Why you may ask, well coming from experience..I know that it can be hard to let go of even the most toxic people.."

"What are you trying to say," I question, clenching my jaw.

"Bub, you have to let it go..this girl, she's not going to make anything better for you.."

"I don't need her to," I snatch my hand away, feeling defensive.

"She brings you nothing but problems,"She tries again.

"She's different..you wouldn't understand," I defend.

"You're making excuses for her," My mom says softly.

"I'm not," I snap.

"You are..Harry this girl isn't for you,"She clasps her hands together,"I know right now you're drawn to her because she's full of all this excitement and wave of unexpectedness but she's toxic, and people like her..well all they do is bring you down until you're finally so low you don't even remember how it felt to be okay..how to be yourself."

"You think Jo's like dad don't you," I spit, she stays silent and I know it's a yes," She's not..this is different. Dad was a piece of sh*t..Jo is the victim just like we were..she's not the bad guy mom. You of all people I expected to understand that."

I rush out of the room and I hear her call after to me. I choose to ignore her, grabbing my keys from the kitchen before rushing out and shouting,"I'm spending the night at Louis'."

I hop in my truck, turning it on, my eyes focused on Jo's house. I choose to pull out of the driveway and drive down the street, turning around the connecting streets in circles trying to figure out how I had come to this..how I had went from feeling guilt to just feeling like Jo was worth it. I didn't care, and I had made up my mind. I wanted her to be mine..regardless of what came with it.

I pull the car over down the street from my house knowing its now or never.

"Hello?" Annette's sleepy voice says on the other line.

"Annette..finally," I breath nervously.

"Harry what's wrong? It's almost one in the morning..well for me,"She says in a low voice,"What's wrong?"

"I..I have something I need you to know," I stutter, closing my eyes right as if that'll make it easier.

"Okay," She says for me to continue.

"I cheated on you," I blurt out all at once, hoping it was comprehendible because there was no way I could repeat it. The line is silent and I almost think she's hung up when she begins to speak.

"You..you cheated..on me?" She says almost in a question.

"I did," I quickly say,"I know that telling you over the phone is the worst way to let you know but..but I can't keep this from you Annette. I like you, I really do but I've realized that I only like you as a friend."

The line is silent again.

"Annette?"

"Harry, I have to go," She nearly whispers.

"Annette I really am sorry, please just.."

"I can't talk about all this right now okay? I've gotta go."

And just like that the line is dead and the guilt is gone. Well not all of it. I feel more guilt for not feeling guilty. I was aware-a little too much-of how much of an *sshole I am with this entire situation but I knew that Jo was who I wanted now. And I wasn't going to make it any worse by pretending.

I shut my car off, locking the doors before beginning the short walk down the street toward my house..and then a little beyond it.

"Harry,"Jo answers the door, a large smile spreading across her face.

"Do you think I could spend the night?" I smile back and she pulls the door open wider.

"Come in."