Canon | (Harry Styles AU)

[sixty]

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I listened to HOME on repeat while writing this after Harry's voice made me fall in love all over again, forcing me to watch This Is Us and every Harry funny moments video on YouTube..oops.

"Harry?"

I whip my head up at the sound of my name.

"Come with me," The nurse smiles meekly, and in an instant, I'm on my feet, practically running down the hall.

I had been sitting in that waiting room longer than I hoped I'd be, and with Russell-who still wasn't off the hook yet because what the f*ck was going on with him and my mom- already in the exam room, ensuring everything with my mom's surgery went as planned, I had been left alone. My mind always seemed to drift to the worst when I was alone and I knew that until I saw her with my own eyes, I couldn't ease up.

"Dr. Montanez had a cot put in for you, feel free to get some rest after your time with your mom," The nurse informs me, her voice soft and nurturing,"Your mom..she's one of the nicest coworkers I've ever had the privilege to work with. She's an astounding person. I honestly wish I could say more, but there just aren't enough words but to say that she's a fighter..she'll be better soon enough."

"Thanks," I offer a forced smile before pushing open the clean, grey door.

The curtain is drawn around the bed, making my heart race in anticipation. I slowly walk around it, holding my breath with the sound of machines running and beeping louder and louder with each step.

"Mom?" I call out softly, my voice nearly catching in my throat.

I see her, and I just can't help but to cry. My rock, my protector, my only family..bruised and beaten in a way I have never seen before in my life. Her eyes are nearly shut from all the swelling around them but I know it's her from their brilliant color. She focus' on me as I inch closer to the bed, taking her heavily bandaged hand into mine, without a thought, kissing it, gratefully.

Tears brim in her eyes, before rolling down her bloodied wounded swollen cheeks and I just lose it. I put my head down, holding her hand tight, and I sob harder than I can ever remember.

"I-am-so..so sorry," I look up at her and cry,"I..I don't know what to say my excuses are sh*t. This my fault..this is all my fault. I should have been there to protect you from him and and..now you're just..f*ck.."

"F*k that cowardly f*cking bastard for doing this to you!" I slap my hand against the linoleum floor,"Why couldn't he just leave us the f*ck alone? We were fine..everything was fine..and just..this is just all my fault. If I would have been there..maybe..I don't even know but it's just..it's my fault.." I cry again.

I try catching my breath to continue but I'm overwhelmed. I can't stop myself from sobbing like a child, who just never stood a chance. I never stood a chance.

She slowly places her other bandaged hand upon my head as I cry at her side. I look up to see her tears, as she shakes her head no, and weakly speaks.

"This. Was never. Your fault."

"I was grounded. I should have never taken the car." I remind her,"And when I got there..I I couldn't even help you.."

"Stop.Don't blame yourself. I'm here to protect you, not the other way around," She nearly whispers, slowly caressing the side of my cheeks without stitches.