A L M O S T ( Sano Manjiro x Reader )

17

What did I do wrong? Did I really mess up everything I do? Am I that bad when I just want to be by his side and be there for him? Why is he pushing me away? Was the kiss meant nothing? It hurts. It hurts so much. Manjiro please. I love you. I love you so much.

A tear fell down on my check. I was crying again. It kinda became my hobby. Just kidding. But seriously, almost every day I was crying.

Mikey was slowly slipping away from me.

For months I tried to reach out to him, but he pushes me away. Saying he doesn't want to talk to me. I get it that he's grieving for Baji but I was too.

I don't know what is going on with him. It hurts so much to see him like this. I can't give up on him. I know he needs me. I needed him to need me because I badly need him.

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December 24. I don't have any plans for tomorrow. I will just be dropping off my gifts to everyone. They seems busy too so I don't want to impose.

This is why I hate holidays!!! I feel so aloooone.

I grab my wallet and went out to buy the ingredients for cookies and cupcakes I'm going to bake for everyone. Oohh. And I will buy my medicines too.

All of my salary only goes to my food and medicines. I'm can't even buy myself anything this Christmas.

Nope. No. I'm not gonna use that money. My parents money. Never in my life.

I went back home, put all the things I bought in ther counter and rest for a bit.

After a while, I started baking the cookies and cupcakes. I followed all the instructions and measurements.

The timer rang, meaning the cookies are done. I removed it from the oven and put it on cooling rack. I put the cupcakes next, and put it inside the oven.

After finishing, I took a bite and smiled, feeling proud of myself. It was good. The cookies were hard on the outside but chewy on the inside.

I started to prepare the goodies I bake separately for everyone. I add a hand written note each.

To: Hina

Merry Christmas, Hina-chan!! Thank you for being my first friend in school.
You and Emma are my best girls. :)

-Y/N

Next.

To: Takemichi

Merry Christmas!! Thank you for being my friend.
Please don't hurt Hina-chan! Or else I'll kill you!! Kidding. :P

-Y/N

Next.

To: Draken

Merry Christmas, Draken-kun!!
Thank you for always being there for Manjiro.
Please beat his ass up whenever he's being an asshole. Kidding!!

-Y/N

Next..

To: Emma

Merry Christmas, Emma-chan!!
Thank you for everything. Thank you!!
I love you girl. So much.

-Y/N

Next one..

To: Chifuyu

Merry Christmas, Fuyu!!
Thank you. Now I understand why Baji talks about a lot.
You're a nice person.

-Y/N

Next.

To: Taka-chan

Merry Christmas, my Takachan!!!
Thank you for sticking up with me. Listening to all my dramas about life.
I couldn't imagine my life without you. You're my bestest friend.
Love you!!

-Y/N

Last one.. I stopped for a moment, I really don't know what to write. I don't know what to say to him.

To: Manjiro

Merry Christmas!! I hope you're having a blast.
Thank you for saving me from bullies when we were kids.
Just thank you for everything. You have no idea how my life changed since I met you.
Hope you're doing better. I'm always here for you.

- your #1 fan, Y/N

As soon as I finished writing, I packed it up and carefully put it in the basket in front of my bike. I drop it off to their houses. I feel like Santa Claus. Hehehehe.

When I got back to my apartment, I took a quick shower and immediately lay down on my bed.

I stared at the ceiling for a moment.. I just stare at it blankly. I couldn't describe how I'm feeling.. I couldn't cry anymore.

Numbness. That's exactly what I'm feeling right now. I am numb to the pain. Numb from being alone all my life.