The hate between us steverogersxreader

Chapter 46

Steve's pov

I hadn't left my room since she got shot. Bucky always came and gave me food, but I didn't say anything to him. It was all my fault that she got shot. If I had just protected her some more, then she would still be here. Bucky did tell that she was in a coma and I could go and visit her, but how could I when I'm the reason she is lying there. I know that I had been a dick towards her, but if I could take it back, then I would. I would have shown her that she means the world to me, and I would never let anything bad happen to her. But, instead, I was the worst boyfriend. 

I looked at the time and saw that it was almost three in the morning. I took a deep breath and made a choice I hadn't made in a long time. I decided to see her. I wanted to apologize to her with the hope that she could hear me, and if she couldn't, then I would tell it again when she could. 

When I came into the medical room and saw her lying there with a tube in her mouth and all the different machines around her, it made me feel so much worse than I already felt. She looked like she was hanging on a thin line between life and death. I sat on the chair beside her bed. "Hi, Y/n." I didn't know why I would start like that, but I did; It just felt right. "I'm sorry that I haven't been here before now." I could already feel the tears falling on my cheeks. "It's been 20 days since you know what happened." 

"I'm so sorry." I held her hand tightly. "I don't want to lose you." I wanted to see her smile and her beautiful eyes. Her smile could light up every city. "I should have been a better boyfriend to you," I said without hesitating. "You were my light." I hoped she knew that. I hoped she knew that. "You still are," I assured her. When she wakes up, I will make her feel like a princess every day until I die. I won't say if she wakes up because that would make me feel even worse than I already do. 

"I miss you so bad that it is hurting me."

I closed my eyes and held her hand against my forehead. Her hand was cold but also warm. "Please come back to me, and if you don't want to come back to me, then please come back to them." I was telling the truth. I wanted her to come back, but if she didn't want to come back because I asked, then I hoped she would come back for the rest of the team. 

I sat her hand down and kissed her temple before walking out of the room. Even with all the machines and tubes, she still looked like a princess to me. I walked back into my room and tried to get more sleep before the sun would come up. 

"Hi Steve," I looked behind me and saw Y/n standing behind me. "Did you miss me?" I ran over to her and hugged her. "Are you really here?" I asked her. "I will always be right here," she said while pointing at my heart. "Come back to me." I caressed her cheek, and she leaned into the touch. "I'm trying," she said, laughing. God, how I missed her laugh. 

"You really are?" I asked her while my tears fell on my cheeks. "Yes." She was crying too. "I miss you too." I froze. "How did you know?" I asked her. "Because I'm your girl." Her lips met mine, and I kissed her back. "I can't live without you," I admitted to her. "I know." I held her close. I began explaining to her what I had been doing since she got shot. "Don't do that. It wasn't your fault," she said, but I knew she was lying. 

"But it was." I looked into her eyes and saw that she looked a little mad. "You want me to blame you?" She asked me. I nodded. "You really want me to scream at you that if I had never met you, then I wouldn't be like this?" I took a deep breath. "Yes, because it is true." 

"Fine."

"You screwed up, Steve. You made me think I was going crazy when I wasn't. You made me hate myself. I thought you would fight for me, but you didn't; you let me go with them when you knew that I would rather stay with you. You let me die!" I felt my heart break a little when she said all that. "You really think that?" I asked her. 

"No. I love you, Steve, and I don't blame you, so stop blaming yourself. Okay?" I kissed her on the lips. "I love you too." She gave me a big smile. "You know, I didn't like seeing you with that guy," I admitted to her. "I'm sorry." I wanted to talk forever with her, but she stepped away from me.

"What are you doing?" I asked her while trying to get closer to her. "I'm not really here, Steve," she said, which didn't make any sense. She was standing right in front of me. How the fuck couldn't she be here. "Yes, you are." 

"Steve, we are not in your room." I looked around and saw that we were on a hill. She finally walked closer to me. "You need to wake up," she said before kissing me on my forehead. 

"Y/n!" I wake up screaming. I was dreaming this whole time. My door slams open, and in comes Wanda. "What happened?" She asked me. "Nothing, I just dreamed about Y/n." She walked over to me and sat beside me on the bed. "Tell me about-" She got cut off by Bucky. "We need you all in the medical room." 

"Why?" Wanda asked. "Y/n's vitals are going crazy." We got up from the bed and walked with Bucky. I didn't understand since she was fine when I left her. I looked at my watch and saw that it had been four hours since I saw her. She looked fine when we came to the room. "I thought something bad had happened," I said. Her vitals looked the same as before. "I swear, she was dead a few minutes before," Tony said. What did he mean by dead?

"The machine said that she didn't have a pulse, but when I checked it on her wrist, then there was one." 

"So you are telling us that your machine is broken," Nat said. She was right. "No, I mean she wasn't dead, but alive at the same time." Like that could even be possible. "And they went crazy, and I mean they also kept showing that she had a heart attack." Okay, that sounded more concerned. "Can I go back to sleep?" I asked them. "Why?" Nat asked me. "He wants to dream about Y/n again." I looked over at Wanda since the other didn't need to know that.

"Wanda, what do you mean by dreaming about her again?"

They were all looking at me, which was weird. "I was here like four hours ago, and then I went to bed where I dreamt about her." But, of course, it's not that weird to dream about people you love. Right? "What happened in the dream?" They all began asking me. 

I began explaining to them what happened in the dream and how happy I got to see her again. "And then she told me to wake up, which I did." That's when they all began looking at Y/n. "What is it?" I asked them. Tony found his phone and started looking at it. "Here it is." He turned the tv on and showed me in my room and Y/n in the medical room. 

We saw how peaceful I looked while I was sleeping and how Y/n's vitals were going crazy. But, what scared us all was that when I woke up was when Y/n's vitals became normal again. 

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A/N - The authors note

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Well, that was a weird dream.

1374 words.