What If love is real

Chapter 37: Here for you

Hey ... please vote , comment , Whatever you want , just do something and don't be a ghost reader .. I love you guys ... Enjoy the chapter .. And if your interested go and check my Other fanfic "Everyone's BFF " Love you

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The darkness surrounding me , The Pain stabbing my heart , The tears are like a river on my Cheeks .. And Zayn is still Looking at me , I can feel his eyes on me while driving , he wants to talk , he wants to comfort me , he think that I'm afraid and upset because he was not there for me .. But I'm Not

I'm scared of my self , of my other dark side to return and haunt me , I'm scared to death .. I don't want to hurt Zayn , be with him or neither loose him .. I don't know what I want or I don't .. I only know that right now , I'm shocked , I'm remembering everything , every second with Nate ..

His touch on my body , his green eyes glued on mine , his firm hands on my arm , his Lips , his .. everything that happened that time .. And I'm afraid to loose it in front Of Zayn , I don't want him to know , And I don't either want to make him feel sad or uncomfortable with me

" Are you Okay ? " Zayn muttered

" I'm not sure , I don't know " I said fighting the tears and trying to talk

" Do you want me to go in with you ? "

" Where ? " I starts looking around me , I didn't even notice that we're no longer on the road ... we are in front of Jenny's house

" You clearly not okay " Zayn mumble before turning to face my red eyes

" I'm Not , And can we go to your home ? I don't want Jenny to see me like that , She can't see me again in this way "

" Again ? " Zayn wonder

" Yes " I snap , I didn't want too , but It was the only way to make him not ask me about it ..

" Yes of course " He said and get back to driving

The drive was really quit , even quitter than before , because I stopped crying and making sounds , I glance at Zayn from a time to another , I can feel that he is angry , he is in Pain just like I am , And I don't even try to to comfort him , or make it easy on him .. Am I selfish ? Am I only thinking about my Pain ?

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before climbing out of the Car , Zayn throw his warm Jacket on my Shoulders , And I appreciate it , It was deathly cold outside .. he was also holding my bag and I really don't blame my self on that , I was barely trying to hold my bag of bones , My body was still shaking and I'm not sober yet .. The drink is still working on my system And I'm still dizzy and barely talking ..

I came after Zayn inside the house .. the second that I came in , I felt something warm and comforting , , The cream couch , the fireplace , Glass table , Kitchen bar ... Everything is still the same .. It's very clean and smells nice , we can't say that a boy is living here by himself ..

I don't know why but I feel more secure in here .. Is it because of Zayn ? Because its his place? .. No , because he makes me feel safe , he is my angel guardian .. He was though tonight , even late he was here for me , back with Nate , no one was there late or early .. no one saved me ... It was awful , horrible , Painful and I was forced ... This is the only exact word for this

Zayn's foot steps coming downstairs took me away from those heavy memories .. " You can go upstairs , I put on the bed some clothes for you , Just sleep there " Zayn's words came out like healing cream on my scares ... he didn't say much but his voice , his few words , his painful but angry eyes were All I need .

I just nod , without a single word , I gathered my self and start walking upstairs , I tried to talk but I couldn't ... I turned startled by a loud voice , to see Zayn's hand on the table , he hit it so hard ... like I guessed from his look , he is angry for what happened , but I am selfish thinking of myself and I took him down with me ....

The shower was warm and it helped my bruised arms , I hope that it will get away soon .. I dried my body and hair with white towel that Zayn prepared for me , and I wore his boxers and black shirt , Thank god its covering my butt at least .. I am much shorter than Zayn that's why

Its already late , I don't know if Zayn is sleeping or awake , I slowly start walking out of the room and I titled my head searching for Zayn's silhouette ... he was still there at his place but he changed his clothes , his wearing only a pair of black shorts ... his chest if obviously still covered of tattoos .. That I like .. I love tattoos .. Specially Zayn's ..

His black hair is wet and messy but still looking so damn hot .. He lit his cigarette and blew out a puff of smoke. He blew several times .. before throwing the left of it on this white thing .. I cough twice just to get his attention , he turned and gave me the best smile he could and if only he didn't , I almost tripped and felt from the last stair thankfully ...

" Don't laugh , I'm maybe still drunk " I point out after Zayn's laugh on my failed fall

" Yes " he smirk and pat at empty spot across him

I sit near Zayn , and his eyes haven't left mine .. " You feeling better ? " he ask

" Yes I am better thanks to you " I smile just to cheer him up

" I haven't done much ... I wasn't there for you .. I " Before he continue I put my finger on his lip forcing him to shut

" You've done a lot to me comparing somebody else , And it's not your fault for what happened tonight , okey ? " I smile and he returns the same

" Can I ask you something ? " Zayn said

" Yes .. Sure " I said uncertain of what he is about to ask

" You said when we were in front of Jenny's House that you don't want her to see you again like this , and now you said that I've done a lot compared to someone else , ... And you also said before that I was just like him when you find out about me being with one direction .. " He hesitates at first but when he starts he didn't stop asking and bringing everything back

" Its nothing Zayn , I didn't want Jenny to see me like that , She would freak out and get all dramatic for nothing that's why ... " I tried to sound convincing , but by Zayn's face I can tell that he is surely not ..

" Who is that guy Sandy ? what he have done to you ? .. Please Tell me , and don't lie , you're really bad at it .. " Zayn said

" Please let's not talk about this , not now at least , Please Zayn " I begged him to shut up because at every mentions of the past , of him , of what happened get the worse out of me

We just stayed quite for awhile , Zayn didn't say a thing after that I begged him to not ask about this anymore , he was texting , writing something on his Phone and I was on the Tv.. Switching from a chanel to another , There is nothing interesting to watch of course ...

Zayn's POV

She begged me to shut up , I know that she said .. She was not ready to tell me , but I wanted to know ... Its killing me to know that someone hurt her before , I want to be here for here , I want to help her forget the past and live the moment , I want to be the one to make her forget everything and protect her .... I just can't stay like this watching her hurting herself , shutting herself down and keeping to her heart isn't the solution .. I know that by heart ..

I turned to talk to her again , but she is already asleep , her small head is bouncing from the right to the left , her skin legs are stretched on the table and her thin lips are slightly opened , she was like an angel in front of me , I removed some hair strokes from her face and put them behind her ear ..

I carry Sandy Upstairs to my room , I gently put her on the bed and cover her body with a warm duvet .. I stayed still looking at how beautiful she is .. and how much I want her for me , to be mine , I put a light kiss on her forehead before living

" Don't leave me alone " She mumbles just enough to make me hear her

I took the chance without hesitating and get in the bed across of her .... I take her in my arms , And felt asleep