What If love is real

79.

After 6 months :

I'm still not over my jet lag, coming back home was a great idea, I missed everything even the air. I'm so happy to be with mom, dad and Sam, but I'm mostly happy to have Zayn here with me.

We both needed the time alone, Zayn was so tired with touring and the pressure that came along his job, he wasn't enjoying it anymore and he decided to quit. He felt bad of course because of the fans, the music he's done all along and mostly because he's leaving four of the best mates and brothers he got of this journey.

*****

I smile through the mirrored door that once separated Sam's room and mine, my hands prints full of colored paint covered it from one side and his from another ; I used to complain about how Sam used to stand behind and scare me with different sizes of shadows every other night and my mom suggested for me to do this .

I hold onto everything, I still have my teddy bear that Sam won for me in a school kermés , a hairpin that I rocked everyday because the little boy that I had a crush on handmade it for me for my 6th birthday and my diary full of poems, lyrics and stories to my other self.

"Good Morning baby" I quickly recognized the warmth of my moms hand around me.
I never realized how much I missed this touch on me.
"Morning mom" I replied still examining the room with my eyes.
" I used to do that all the time" she said wondering around
" do what ?"
" I mean, just coming up to your room every day, I take a nap or just remember you sleeping for the whole day or reading in that corner" A nervous smile appears on her lips as she reminisce about the past
" I missed doing all of that too" I gave her a slight hug and retrieved before my sensitivity kicks in

" Look at me" she laughs shortly clearly to avoid any threatening tears then added " I came up to tell you that breakfast is ready."
" Better be, I'm starving really"
" let's go down then"
" Do you know where Zayn is ? I couldn't find him when I woke up" Its really nice that he's with me all the time, I feel safe and well . Really well, its like he's my safe word.
" He went out with Zac . They are meeting some of his friends for a soccer game"
" Did he?" I was taken back, Zayn waking up in the early morning and going out socializing and all with strangers.
" Well, guess I'm not the only one who's changed"
" California does some great things on people trust me" Mom hints to dad who's already up and about .
" Yep, Look at your daddy .. I was never ashamed of who I used to be, but look at me now" My mom rolled her eyes at him. And he laughs silently, he wouldn't dare doing it loudly to her face.

I've never realized how much I missed their jokes and sweety bickering, but never their real fights and nerve games.
" Mom, can you pass over the bread please" its been a very long time since I've had a proper breakfast.
Not that Jennie was a bad cooker, the problem was my shitty appetite. For days I only lived on a good coffee and jenny's favorite muffins that her fiancé delivered every morning for her .. something that he can teach Zayn.
At his mention, he and Zac entered full sweat and red face as a tomato something that rarely happens to him, and make him sexy as hell ..
"Look who's finally decided to wake up" Zac rushes towards me, his hands reached to mess with my morning hair but I was quicker this time. I proudly managed to squint away

" Good morning" Zayn implied with a bashful smile.
" Morning babe" He hushed towards my ear as soon as he sat next to me.
"You look so sexy" I reminded him quietly without forgetting to kiss his cheek.
"You guys stop eating each other's faces, it's disgusting. We're having breakfast" Sam groaned hoping to intimidate me in front of our parents
"Let them be son, that's young love and I suggest for you to go and find someone like your sister did" Dad shots right in the goal and I giggle my eyebrows at Sam in amusement.
" I tried to don't you remember! But she turned out to be a psychopath who was her goal to ruin my sister's life . So no thanks, I'm fine with myself" Ouch ! Mom glared at dad for a split second and it was more than enough to make him drop his head from regret .

I think he forgot and so did I. Mel was always after him and I never thought that Sam had feelings for her but apparently he had all that time and kept them to himself.

He was worried that he would just broke her heart as he did to many girls but at last she was the one to broke his and badly after he heard from her that everything was her idea, Nate dating me, him raping me and recording it .. every single horrific experience I've been through she planned it because of jealousy, hate .. whatever ; it happened and thanks to my parents, to Sam, Lea and especially Zayn I'm over it.

" You like what you see" The former boy bander teased in amusement
I nodded, admitting how beyond happy I am !seeing him smiling and healthy. He quit the band to pursue what he likes. Although his friends were more than understandable, some people to not call them fans were so hateful towards him from hate messages to death wishes.. things nobody can receive just for doing what best for him and his health.

Thinking of that "we're meeting the boys tonight, you remember right?" I asked Zayn peeking from the shower curtain
" Yes,I do .. I talked to Harry this morning"
" Okey, are you going somewhere next or we can do something together for the rest of the evening" I suggested knowing that his wound is still fresh and I want to be there all the time.
" I'm hitting the studio ." He trailed , wrapping his low body in a white towel.
" you wanna come along, maybe you'll help writing those new album songs"
"Yeah sure"
" its still a bit early, I'll just lay down for a bit .. your brother so killed me today, from the gym to soccer to talking" I laugh at that last one, Even socializing make Zayn tired and its a point that we share.
After my incident I became so introverted and anxious around people, so I kind of got to see it as a mind exhausting thing to do.

" Wake me up after an hour or two okay?" He didn't even wait for me to answer before he curled his naked body in the cold duvet.
" How about I'll just join you" I excitedly jumped next to him when he turned around with a smirk on his face.
" I'm tired of working out today, this should be enough" He held his tongue in between his teeth as he smiled waiting for my approval.
I scouted closer till our foreheads met, his fresh smell from the fruity shower gel he used hits my nose and it kind of reminds me of his house back in London; before I released this thought of my head I felt his tongue making its way inside of my mouth. His hands reached under my blouse garnement, they were cold against my waist .. I shivered when he unclipped my bras and pulled away from the kiss to get a look at his face.
" I thought you were dead tired"
" I thought too, but your body is my cure" he teased crashing his face into my chest, I laughed from the giggles he was giving me before giving away and crashing my craving lips into his.