What If love is real

73.

I'm in love with I don't want to live forever its amazing and the friendship between Taylor and Zayn on the BTS's is beautiful ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Zayn's POV

I've never experienced this kind of feelings, those painful stabs in your heart, the urge to scream louder than what you can possibly handle to let everything out but you know it won't go away. It's something that is meant to stain your heart for forever and never leave out. This pain is so cruel and evil.

The pain of loosing someone.

Someone who you care for deeply, and not ready at any time of the times to take him out of your life. So how can he just go so easily ?

This pain grow even more mere and hurtful when you blame yourself for what could happen or what already did occur. Something you had the strength and ability to stop but you were one of the reasons it happened and you couldn't even stop it.

The stab gets even painfully deeper and thats when you start thinking about giving up because even as a strong person you can't handle it so how can someone who already faced death multiple times can handle it again twice.

And here when the vicious thought that we avoid came - loosing or sure-ending to pain. The feeling of emptiness surround your stained heart and you just start to believe that you never was meant to be destined.

The moment when you think that your other own and only half might or is long gone.

" Its all my fault " Dylan screamed and I even heard him choke on his own breath several times. I wished to cry like him, it will somehow ease up the pain. Thats what everyone says
" No its not yours, I know Nate you couldn't have stopped him " Lea throw her arms around Dylan and pat his head
" When he said he's going to her to teach her a lesson. He even told me what he did to her the first time . I panicked, and I called you first " He apologize a hundred times for not being a big of help in the first place.

But he's wrong, if its anyone's fault than it must be mine, I was the one who made her go- she wouldn't leave my side this morning if I wasn't being a jerk again
" Nothing happened and nothing will happen okay ! " Harry almost yelled in between Lea's and Dylan's sobs
Then he continued " I will try to call her again, she must be sleeping she loves to sleep and in the meantime we will go check The house again "

Everyone nodded to his words . He always was good at this, calming and reassuring the one he cares about, he is my comforter before going to stage. He is always a big help to my mischievous nerves.

-----

" Straight to voice mail ! " Dylan declared, his face poking from the back seat .
Everyone road my car to get back in front of Jenny's. Lea haven't stopped sighing her warm breath meet my face since she's sitting right back of me.

"That's because I had told you I'm calling Dylan" Harry informed Dylan, frustration glare filled his eyes
" She's still not answering " after seconds of quietness Harry this time said
" Me calling or him . In the end she's not answering ... " Dylan's spoke angrily under his breath making Harry's tapping finger on the board stop and his attention turns to him.

" What did you say ? " Harry shoots back
" Stop both of you " Lea said in a steady voice attempting to calm both of them
" What ! I just said he didn't have to look at me in that way . its scary " He justified to Lea and she shut his mouth with her hand.

I couldn't stay focused on my thoughts and the road while looking at both of them bickering in the revue mirror, I also needed anything to distract me from any terrible thoughts. She can't be harmed, she can't just leave with any warning .

She needs to be okay.
I kept reminding myself on repeat mode.

Even before the tires stopped against the hard road, I heard the three doors shutting abruptly besides mine.
I was stiff and still against the cold leather seats, the sky was turning grey outside and my eyes began stinging at the sight of one of the places that held too many memories between us sweet and bitter. It didn't matter as long as she was there and there was an us.

" Zayn !! " the hard hand on my shoulder snaps me out of my thoughts
" What ? " I stare blankly at Harry who's eyes are narrowed at me.
" We came here because you said there was a place that you knew .." He sighed looking down and turned again to my face
" Are you even listening to me man ?" he questions worriedly
" Yes I am, Im sorry.. " I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car .
" Where did you say the key was ? " the question echoes inside my head when the three of them spoke simultaneously

" What ? " My mind is going crazy and blank- afraid of whatever is going to be behind the door
" The key Zayn " the three of them spoke again harmoniously
" You said you knew where they hide a spare key ? Thats why we're here Zayn" Lea calmly reminded me and I momentarily snapped back to the mere reality
I quickly handed the key that was hidden inside a garden pot, I exchanged its location against to many things for Jenny. I wanted once to surprise Sandra and again and other times, She never thought about changing it again even after she knew that we were over or she didn't?
Anyways it was how I got here yesterday and fought with her in the first place and it might be helpful today or not!

I feel a warm hand pat on my shoulder and pushes me inside " Don't worry she will be alright trust me " Harry's thoughtful words encourages me to step inside the empty house ans start looking everywhere for a sign of her.
" Nothing " The words that I heard the most in my entire life today.
NOTHING is what everybody said after looking in her room, the pool, Jenny's room ... and every single place and corner we knew in the house . We couldn't find a sign of Sandra .

Minutes felt like hours, I was on the sofa my hands haven't left my tearful eyes. Everyone sat quietly, we tried to call Jenny her phone was off, the maid and the gardener were both on vacation leave. Which means she was alone, whatever the jerk did to her or tried to do, she had to face it alone.