What If love is real

72.

A late Happy Birthday to Zayn ❤️❤️ and congratulations for the many wins this year and the brits and Iheartradio nominations ❤️❤️❤️❤️ and I'm so excited for the 50 shades MV can't wait
Keep voting, reading and commenting ❤️

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I shouldn't have. I knew how much drink affects me and I know that I shouldn't be drinking at all . I became an addicted alcoholic a year ago and since then I never touched a drink or smoke and now its all ruined.

Everything with Zayn is ruined too, I let him believe that I'm disgusted and scared of him by jumping off when our skins touched, but I was neither of them. I was only submerged with the unwelcoming emotions, I remembered my new nightmare - the same one from before but the lead act has changed .

Always when things get better which      I still never knew how. If we kissed of slept together or I begged him to forgive till I fainted asleep . It doesn't really matter now since we are back the starting point.

I left my car in front of Zayn's house, Only when I quit his house and saw my car that I remembered I came driving yesterday night. I was too embarrassed to knock and ask for my bag with all my belongings inside of it.

The walk was longer than usual and the  air is really cold, I was burying the half of my face on Zayn's sweater, The smell of the drink was heavy on my skin but Zayn's mint sent was more heavier on his clothes.

I find Boris  laying on the dirty ground outside, he's taking advantage of Jenny's absence. She hates it when he comes inside the house dirty, she really loves him, it was her dog for as long as I could remember ,But he always looks kind off tired or suffering maybe thirsty since his tongue is always hanging outside of his mouth.

As soon as I enter the big empty house I went straight to the nearest bathroom, in the first floor, I was holding it for a long time. After doing my business, I removed Zayn's clothes and tossed them on the ground to get them washed afterwards I gave it a second thought and put them on the side of the washer.

" Aren't you tired ? " I asked the boy who's eyes are staring while I brushed my teeth.
" Of what ? " His tongue was held captive between his white teeth. An action that he always does and know its effect.
" Starring "
" You're so beautiful, how can I ? " His sweet lips drew a light kiss on my cheek before he smirked and disappeared in the bedroom.
" No seriously Zayn, aren't you tired of waiting for me .. waiting for my love and for me to surrender to you , isn't it boring and stressful ?" my words were serious but his smile and look made everything easy and fun.

" I will never get tired of loving you " The beautiful words that never left my thoughts .

I woke up from my daydreaming exactly before the pouring hot water from my shower head turned too cold for my already sick body to handle. I quick dried my body and hair, and wore again Zayn's clothes they are still clean and I was really feeling sick and tired to go all the way up to my room .

I stepped out of the shower and contemplated the beautiful little room that I never visited. It was all the way in the back of the house and hard to notice , I always thought it was a laundry room.

Anyway, I quickly shoved myself under the bed's hot duvet. After a lot of thinking and thinking I'll just call it a day for now and worry about everything tomorrow.

Tomorrow shall be a new and heavy day for me , I will clear up everything with everyone. I should talk to Mel, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt before I judge her for what I saw yesterday. I myself still doubting about everything, talking to her may clear up the air in my mind a bit .

I rested my head on the fuzzy pillow and curled in my bed surrounding to the sweetest thing in the world sleep.

Zayn's POV:

This girl never cease to amaze me in both ways, sometimes she's the sweetest beautiful girl that my eyes can't get away from looking at her and other times she's just as confusing as my mom when she says that the thing I'm looking for is just in front of me but It's not .

She was quick to take action and  talk, her unconfident self take over whenever something good was going yo happen to her and jeez she made me so fucking angry that I can't handle my words to her and end up saying hurtful comments that will eventually turn us from normal ex couple to enemies.

" Coming Coming " loud knocks took me out of my unfinished couple life misery.

I was upstairs and obviously it will take at least 10 seconds to open the damn door, but whoever is outside was certainly not patient as he almost broke the door with his hard knocks . I wish his knuckles hurt as fuck.

" What the hell man ? " the stupid boy almost fell on his knees when I opened.

"Couldn't you knock more lightly than that " I snap at the boy who is now sitting on the ground, his hand on his chest that is moving fast as if he's out of breath

" I'm sorry man .. but .. " his word were unattached, his breath was heavy so I hurried inside and brought for him a glass of water before he dies at my door step.

" Here take it easy , its Dylan right ? " I hope I'm not getting his name wrong,  he is after all Sandra's best friend and we met a couple times so I should be able to remember .

" Yes . Thanks " He hands me the empty glass and took my hand to help him stand on his shaking feet

" I'm sorry, I came running and I lost it , It's damn far how could she do this everyday so easily? " his voice was not steadier but still inexplicable.

" Who are you talking about ? " I let out a frustrated sigh and look back at the guy who will take certainty not make my day any better than it already is
" Sandy " He smiles before giving a big slap to his forehead, it made me smile because I wanted to be the one doing it all along.
" Have you seen her today? " He asks worry in his thoughtful eyes
" Yes " I admit and his serious face turned into a smile that quickly faded when I told him that she left to her house hours ago.
He cursed several times and slammed the brick wall with his feet before curling on the ground.
" By the way, How did you knew where I live ?" A question I've been wanted to ask since he came - I know Sandra never told him my address because she told me once that its better to keep this place private for us , only a few of my closest friends know.
Before he answers - I heard running steps close coming probably towards here. Harry and his new girlfriend Lea .. They both looked at Dylan who was still on the ground, weird sounds coming from his mouth that I presume are painful moans .

" Any luck ? " Harry said to Dylan who immediately shook his head as a no. Lea covered her face with both her hands and Harry comforted her with a hand on her shoulder. While I'm standing on my doorstep not able to figure out how this day os getting more crazier than it already is .